One Woman's Pilgrimage... Pressing On

The Leaves Whisper

2012-03-02T09:27:00.001-05:00

The Empty Sweater

2012-02-27T09:47:00.000-05:00

The empty sweater

Hangs limp, lonely on the chair

Never to be filled

Morning Song

2012-02-21T11:25:00.000-05:00

Lilting through the blue

Air of the frosty morning

Feathered silver notes

Morning Musings

2012-02-07T08:56:00.002-05:00

Morning swallows me
Like a cold cup of coffee
The taste is bitter

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2012-01-30T16:18:00.000-05:00

Today I want to pay tribute to the most amazing woman I know – my Mom. It’s her birthday today, and I would like this opportunity to sing out her praises.

She is a VERY active member of Curves gym, and has well over 1,000 visits in the last few years. All you have to do is ask her to show you her guns, and that sleeve is up and bicep curled!

She has a heart “as big as the all outdoors” (as my Grandmom used to say). She is loving and giving, and is a tigress when it comes to her family. She is our matriarch.

Her faith in God never fails, and she is a prayer warrior.

Her life hasn’t been easy, but you’d never know it from her cheerful disposition. Mom’s sense of humor is funny, zany, warped and wonderful – I call her my “Crazy Old Broad”. She plays practical jokes on me, and sometimes we get to laughing so hard I cry.

She’s wise, and always ready to listen and not judge – I know her love is steadfast, even when I’ve messed up oh-so-many times in my life. She’s got the best Mom-hugs in the world! She is my biggest cheerleader and always supports me, even if she doesn’t always agree or understand.

She’s also an incredible Grandmother, and her nickname is “Gooma” – so of course we call her “The Goom”, The Goomeister”, “Goominator”, and I call her Momma Pajama or MPJ for short.

She’s the only person I’ve ever heard of who actually ran away and joined the circus! (Oh am I gonna pay for letting that out!) Yep... yep... My Mother IS the ORIGINAL wild woman!

I have the honor/blessing/privilege of having her with me since her home burned down about a year and a half ago. She walked away with nothing but quite literally the shirt off her back, and yet she has always looked at the bright side and counted her blessings. Mom doesn’t hold “things” tightly – her family and friends are her greatest treasures.

But let me tell you, Mom is our family’s greatest treasure. She is gutsy, courageous and strong, and is always there when we need her. She is my hero, my inspiration, and my love and respect for this woman knows no bounds. Truly, the words haven’t been invented yet to describe her.

So happy birthday, my bestest friend and Crazy Old Broad Mom. You are the absolute best Mom E-V-E-R, and I love you and thank God every single day that He blessed me with you. Here’s to another year of love, laughter, good health, blessings and all the happiness your beloved heart can hold.

Psalm 31:28-29 – “Her children arise and call her blessed; many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Haiku 012412

2012-01-25T17:03:00.001-05:00

Dancing on the snow
Glistening pas de bourrée
The pines rue their roots

Haiku 011112a

2012-01-12T08:08:00.000-05:00

Persistent tapping
Raindrops shimmer in the night
Fluid fingertips

Haiku 011112

2012-01-11T15:16:00.000-05:00

God’s majestic hand
Draws the evening curtain closed
Tucking in the earth

Inspired, Inspirational Woman!

2012-01-05T15:06:00.000-05:00

One of my inspirations and role models is Ernestine Shepard, a 75-year-old body builder and personal trainer from Baltimore, Maryland. She holds the Guinness Book of World records as the world’s oldest personal trainer and body builder. She began trainer at 56!!! Her mantra is “Determined, Dedicated and Disciplined.” You can see her via video on YouTube find out more on Google. One of my bucket list items is to meet this amazing woman!
I found this article on her on strongchic.com by Lori Braun of femalemuscle.com.

Blessings,
Linda

* * * * *

74-Year-Old Female Bodybuilder in Guinness Book of World Records
by Lori Braun; Femalemuscle.com

SHE’S a decade older than the average retirement age, but 74-year-old Ernestine Shepherd has a body and level of fitness that would put the average 30-year-old woman to shame Ernestine, from Baltimore, Maryland, can bench-press 150 pounds and each day runs 10 miles. She’s also earned a place in theGuinness Book of World Records as the oldest professional female bodybuilder.

Ernestine, who goes by ‘Ernie’, lives by the motto “Age is nothing but a number. You can get fit at any age.” She adds: “I feel better than I did in my 50s .“ You do not have to take a lot of supplements, you can do it naturally like me and still look good.” Ernestine says that she is on a mission to both help and motivate people on the importance of being fit and eating healthily.

Inspired by her sister, she said: “My sister and I were invited to a picnic and told that we could wear a bathing suit. When we put the bathing suits on we didn’t look so nice. She began laughing at me, and me at her. “That was a turning point for the both of us and we began working out”. Sadly for Ernestine, her late older sister, who died after suffering a brain aneurysm, was unable to witness her accomplish the dream she so wanted her to fulfil. But she would certainly be proud of Ernestine’s success and perseverance, which has led to her receiving medals and being on TV.

"We kept working and we looked fabulous, but she kept constantly telling me that she was having headaches and she felt like she had water running in her ears. “They put her on life support, which was a shock to all of us, because the day before she was with me at the gym. Without her encouragement this would never have been made possible. “Before she died, she had said to me that I would be in the Guinness Book of World Records, and that I should become a bodybuilder. “Since praying to God, He has kept me focused and helped me to keep my sister’s dream alive,” she told The Voice.

Ernestine is a personal trainer and fitness instructor, and also holds weekly classes at her various churches. Offering advice to older men and women, she said: “I have a group of senior members in my class, and I start off by telling them that age is nothing but a number. I’m not asking them to be bodybuilders, but to be healthy and happy. “One must be determined, disciplined and dedicated to be fit.” The bodybuilding sensation, who is also a model, wants more than just a sexy physique and six-pack abs. She said: “My ministry which God has given me is to help, inspire and motivate people on the importance of being healthy and fit. I go to various churches and I speak, and each time I’m well received.”

The mother of one says that her son and other members of her family have also been inspired by her fitness. “My husband does a lot of walking, and even my grandchild and nieces and nephews are inspired. It’s amazing. My son looks a lot younger than 56. They all look good,” she told The Voice.

Ernestine sticks to a strict high-protein diet; she drinks three to four cups of liquid egg whites, which helps her to burn fat while sleeping. She said: “We all need protein, which consists of chicken, roasted or baked, nothing fried. Tuna fish, roasted turkey and carbohydrates, such as frozen vegetables with nothing in them, and drink plenty of water.”

She added: “I wouldn’t dare crack an egg and drink it because I don’t know what it’s been tested for. I order mine from a special source. “I’ve been drinking it for years and I’m now accustomed to the taste. You can’t acquire a taste for it right away, but I have, and it’s already been tested for salmonella.”

Offering advice to readers, she said: “Decide to be healthy, think about how you would want to feel and look. After you get that in your mind, go for it. You will start feeling better and better. Keep at it; don’t give up at the first hurdle.”

She added: “My aspiration is to make it to ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’. That would be so amazing. Lastly, a strong woman is ageless and everywhere. She’s not defined by her shape or size, but rather by her personal strength. She demonstrates emotional and spiritual endurance, bringing peace and balance to those around her.”

2012 - Starting Off with Scriptures

2012-01-04T10:18:00.002-05:00

As I get older, I find I sometimes forget things - I usually wind up running back up to my bedroom at least once every morning before I leave for the day, having forgotten my phone, my tea, my glasses... yes, I fear someday I will arrive at my destination, open my coat, and realize I've forgotten to change out of my pajamas! Or I'll go in a room and then forget why I went in. I've taken to writing pretty much EVERYTHING down... now if only I could find that notebook...

That being said, since God made my brain and has said the Holy Spirit will help me remember things, I have decided to take up the challenge of Cindy Bultema's "She Sparkles" blog "A to Z Memory Verse Challenge"! I've put a button on the margin where you can click to join. Every other week Cindy provides us with a verse (and associated study ideas) in a "A to Z" style.

We're just starting off, so I'd love to have company on the journey - won't you join me? The first verse is Joshua 24:15b:

A - As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Short, sweet and to the point, yes? You can also get the whole family involved. I'm encouraged, as it seems manageable and I really want to hide God's word in my heart to help me stay on the right path. As King David wrote in Psalm 119:11 (which I had to look up), "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

So sign up, and let me know in the comments portion. We're on our way to a brighter and better 2012 as we stay in God's word!!

Blessings,
Linda

Reflections

2011-12-22T11:35:00.001-05:00

I found a new website today while reading one of Michael Hyatt's blogs. he's the Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers. It's called Radical Mentoring. Today's post was about questions and reflections, an appropropriate topic for this time of year. I found the questions challenging, difficult and yet exhilirating -- questions that will be ruminating in the back room of my mind, and which I hope to formally journal upon between now and the beginning of the new year. I would like to share some of them with you below, and encourage you to embrace them and act upon them as well.

What do you enjoy about Christmas that no one else knows about?

What am I grateful for?

What did I learn this year?

Where did I go? What did I experience?

Who do I know better today than I did a year ago?

If I died tonight, who would carry my casket? Would those six men know me…really, really know me?

Am I closer to God today than I was at this time last year?

What is my vision for next year? Who are those six friends whom I will “let into” my life next year?

Am I open to God’s will for my life, even if He takes me in a radically different direction? takes me out of my comfort zone?

I also invite you to share in the comments section some additional questions that would be helpful to answer as we close out this year.

Blessings,
Linda

(Photograph taken by me -- the Delaware River on the bridge in Washington Crossing Park, NJ)

An Invitation to Advent

2011-11-30T17:14:00.001-05:00

I would like to invite you to join me at my blog entitled MY LITTLE CHRISTMAS BLOG beginning December 1st. It's my way of offering to you my version of an advent calendar, filled with daily devotions, Christmas music, recipes, Christmas film clips, a holiday movie poll, Lots of links and trivia, and if you scroll to the bottom, you can watch my all-time favorite movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" in it's entirety! Just click on the title above!

May you enjoy counting down the days with me!

Blessings,
Linda

Dandy Dozen Christmas Movies

2011-11-30T12:17:00.001-05:00

I am a Christmas movie freak. I unabashedly LOVE Christmas movies. There’s nothing like snuggling up on the couch, grabbing a bowl of (air-popped) popcorn (hold the butter and salt, please), and getting all sloppy and sentimental. I admit, I can sing along to any of the songs on Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol (… with razzleberry dressing…). I feast my eyes, ears, and soul and just lose myself in the classics. I become 8 years old again whenever Rudolph is on, and I want to hug the humble bumble before I die.

Now I know these are fantasy escapes, and there’s usually no way to solve all the relationship and world problems within a two-hour time span. But watching George search for Mary, and hearing a bell ring knowing somewhere an angel got her wings, always chokes me up. What can I say? and who doesn't need a bit of an escape during the stress of holiday preparations?? I just love watching all the classic TV specials (Rudolph, Frosty, Jack Frost, Rudolph's Happy New Year... the list is endless).

So, here are my top 12, dandy dozen favorite Christmas movies of all times (in order). Always get the original black and white versions if possible!!! During the course of the next month, may I suggest you exercise your sloppy sentimental muscles, get together with family and friends, and watch a few? There’s sure to give you a case of the warm fuzzies! I hope this list will take you down a happy holiday memory lane walk! I would love to hear your comments as to your favorite holiday movies or TV shows, or if you have a favorite memory with one of the movies I mentioned!!!

Blessings,
Linda

1) It’s a Wonderful Life – we all have probably seen this one. George Bailey learns what it’s like if he’d never been born. Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed are great together! I even have the soundtrack!

2) A Christmas Carol – must be the one with Alistair Sim as Scrooge. Others are good, but this tops them all.

3) Miracle on 34th Street – again, must get the B/W original with Edmund Gwynne and Natalie Wood as Susan.

4) White Christmas – A staple for the holidays – love Rosemary Clooney’s dress and performance in the torch song “Love, You Didn’t Do Right by Me”.

5) The Bishop’s Wife – Now don’t get me wrong, I also can watch Denzel and Whitney in the remake over and over, but there just ain’t nobody like Cary Grant!

6) Christmas in Connecticut – Move over Martha Stewart! The premise here is that Barbara Stanwyck is the ULTIMATE homemaker/wife/mother writing a column each month for a women’s’ magazine – only to find out she can’t even cook. Then she has to host a veteran for Christmas dinner, and it’s hysterical what happens next.

7) Heidi – I have been watching Shirley Temple’s classic for years and years, and it just gets better each time.

8) Come to the Stable – a little known classic Christmas movie with Loretta Young (from the Bishop’s Wife) and Celeste Holm (the original Philadelphia Story, All About Eve) as nuns. I actually had the joy of meeting Celeste Holm once – I gushed like a teenager!

9) Mr. Magoo’s Christmas – I grew up with Mr. Magoo cartoons, and this wasn’t shown for years on regular television. When it finally came out on videotape I was overjoyed. It just wasn't Christmas without it!

10) March of the Wooden Soldiers – I can remember being a little girl, decorating the Christmas tree in my grandparent’s home, and watching this on television. It always makes me want to buy tinsel and hang it on the tree – I usually put this one on when… yep… I decorate our tree!

11) A Christmas Story – my favorite character is the father played to perfection by Darrin McGavin, and the FRAGILE line still doubles me over with laughter.

12) A Charlie Brown Christmas – I have worn out a CD playing the soundtrack over and over every holiday season. You have a stake of holly in your heart if you aren’t moved by Charlie and his little tree. This is a theological wonder – listen closely as Linus explains the true meaning of Christmas!

TV Specials Honorable mention:

Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas – back in the 70’s HBO put this “muppet-y” Christmas special out, and it is just so sweet. Unfortunately, it’s fairly expensive to get now, so be sure to see if you can find it on YouTube or borrow a copy. A real cuddle fest.

The Spirit of Christmas - if you grew up in the Philadelphia area in the 60's, chances are you saw this growing up. It was originally a half-hour Christmas special put on by Bell Telephone, and features the Mabel Beaton marionettes. There are two segments - the first is the retelling of "The Night Before Christmas", and the second is the telling of the nativity (in the Bible, Luke 2:1-20). It is simple and so beautiful.

The Snowman - narrated by David Bowie, this animated Academy-Awarded nominated short film is a charming tale of a young English boy who finds his snowman has come to life, and takes him on an overnight adventure. The illustrations and soundtrack are gentle and beautiful.

Turn Up the Heat

2011-11-29T08:52:00.001-05:00

Isaiah 58:11 NASB
""And the LORD will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail."

Anger and pain are often associated with feelings and adjectives associated with heat. When a personal or business relationship fails, you may feel as if you’ve been “burned”. Your face may flush red with heat when you are angry, probably the origin of the term “hot head” for someone who is mad. If someone infuriates you, they may “burn you up”. When your heart is broken, you may think that it has been seared and you might never survive the scars to love again. Another phrase that comes to mind when we are bone-tired and weary is “burned out”.

Our God knows our pain. He understands.

Recently while reading Isaiah 58:11 I was struck by the promise that God will satisfy my desire in scorched places and give strength to my bones. In the original Hebrew, the word scorched is also translated as parched land or drought. And yet the primitive root of that word is a verb that means to be dazzling, aglow. In Ezekiel 37 the Lord brings dry bones back to life, which ties into His promise here in Isaiah to give strength to your bones.

There have been times when I have been burned, seared, and burned out… where my heart was numb and my bones were weary unto death… and God was there. In the midst of it, even as I was “going through the fire”, He never left my side. He has been faithful, and taken me through it – not out of it – but through it. Instead of allowing me to hide or self-medicate to deaden the pain, He held me while together we sat with the pain. It taught me lessons I never could have learned in a textbook, and has made me stronger. Since then I can honestly say my heart has been reignited with life by His love for me – He never let the spark die. And while I am sure there will be times ahead where I will again have to “walk through the fire”, I can be assured and at peace because His promises do not fail, and He remains faithful to His Word… and His love truly endures forever.

I have learned that if He calls us to the scorching place, it is only to purify us as gold, to teach us, and to make us more into His likeness.

Taking Care of the Temple!

2011-11-16T16:25:00.001-05:00

I have embarked on a new fitness regime, because I’m training for kettlebell certification in late January of 2012. I have been watching some of the other female trainers as they did their certification training, and they went from good bodies to GREAT bodies! Tight, lean and amazing. I am also going to begin training for Pilates Reformer certification about the same time, so I need to commit to getting very serious about my workout, my nutrition, and focusing on the goal. Pray for me!!!!!

To that end, I will be keeping you posted on what’s happening with me, and sharing details about the workout, the nutrition, and the development.

I write this to encourage you to begin a program for yourself. Perhaps you already have a regular workout and fitness routine, and you just would like to take it to the next level. Or maybe you have been playing with the idea of starting a workout, but haven’t had the motivation to get it into gear yet.

Okay, wild women, it’s time – let’s do this together. Tell me about your routine, send pix, and let’s do this as a group! It would be fun to run this race together and encourage one another along as we progress. Join me!

Get those gotta do it muscles of determination and motivation flexin’!!!

Blessings,
Linda

Book Review - Stained Glass Hearts by Patsy Clairmont

2011-11-15T12:36:00.000-05:00

While I purchased and read this book via Kindle, I am going to purchase it as a hard copy as well, and it will be under the Christmas trees of several of my friends. While I have always appreciated Patsy Clairmont's writing and speaking as one of the founders of the Women of Faith, and her wacky and hiliarous sense of humor, this book showed me a whole different side of her. I loved the way she opened the world of her readers by introducing them to beautiful words of art and thought-provoking literature and poetry. It's as if I had a friend come along side me and take me to museuems and libraries and open my world. It was a wonderful journey, and I hated to see it end on the last page! Get the book - it's a real blessing!

God is Love -- And He Loves Everyone

2011-11-15T11:56:00.000-05:00

Today, with the permission of the author, I am sharing Pam's post entitled "God is Love -- And He Loves Everyone". She is spot-on, and I felt it was a message that needed to be heard by us all. Pam is a gifted writer, dear friend and fellow Christ-follower, and I encourage you to subscribe to her blog (click on the title to get there) In The Shadow of His Wings. (Note - you will need to go to her website to view the vidow she speaks of in the post.)

Be blessed, as I was, as you read:

I normally don’t take on writing about any subject or person that is considered to be controversial. I try my best to be the peacekeeper in my world, and like Rex the Dinosaur says in ‘Toy Story,’ “I don’t like confrontations!” However, I get the feeling that with this post, I may ruffle some feathers. Or perhaps not. We’ll see.

The other day, I came across a video posted by my friend, Curt Leininger, on his ‘Created For Blessing’ blog (please scoot over to My Blog List and you’ll find the link to his site). Curt was once my church’s youth pastor and is now the Pastor of Discipleship at a church up in Wyckoff, New Jersey.

To me, Curt has some very different and quite eclectic taste in music, so when I saw his post called ‘Sunday Afternoon Music Video,’ I figured it would be some way cool or deeply thought provoking tune by some indie artist or band I’d never heard of and my interest was piqued.

What I found was a very basic, simplistic, almost childlike musical offering by a band I actually DO know (thanks to my buddy, TJ), called Gungor. The song, which is several years old, is called, ‘White Man,’ and while the lyrics are again -- basic, simplistic and almost childlike -- they are at the same time, to me, profound and true.

And way cool. And deeply thought provoking. I guess two out of three ain’t bad.

The video was put together by a community of artists called ‘The Work of The People.’ It is also very basic with it’s childlike drawings and I must admit, kind of bizarre. I’m sure that for as many different people who view it, there will be that many different reactions/responses. Some may get a kick out of the video, yet totally get the gist of the chorus -- that God is Love and He loves everyone.

Others may not only find the visuals lame, overtly cutsie-pie and silly, ridiculous, somewhat irreverent and offensive, but the lyrics as well -- again, that God is Love and He loves everyone.

Everyone??

Everyone meaning, as the song states:

Atheists and
Charlatans and
Communists and
Lesbians and
Even old Pat Robertson

Catholic or
Protestant or
Terrorists or
President
　
Ok, hold on for a minute there. Really? I’m sure there are people reading this now that may not even stick around to view the video and listen to the lyrics after looking over the list of groups referenced. People who may see themselves in that list (or not) and possibly be:
　
Hurt
Offended
Confused
Irritated or
(e) all of the above

I can’t say that I blame you. Atheists and Lesbians and Terrorists. Oh my.

But -- let’s keep a few things in mind. Mainly, what it says in God’s Word.

First, though, I’m going to back up a bit. Back in September, a young missionary couple from my church sent out their newsletter via email. In it, they mentioned being burdened for people in the Muslim world and then they made this statement:

When Osama Bin Laden was killed, Bill and I truly mourned. We know this was a man who wronged our country immensely, but he was also a man who was spiritually held captive by a religion that led him into darkness. On the day he died, it felt like Satan had won the victory in the fight for his soul.

Apparently, they received some pretty negative feedback from some recipients of their newsletter (whom I’m assuming are mostly Christian) because of that comment and, the very next day, had to send out another email to clarify just exactly what they meant by their stating that they ‘truly mourned’ when Bin Laden was killed. Personally, I kind of thought it was a shame this couple had to do this. Because their saying that Bin Laden was a man who’d been held captive spiritually and led into darkness by his religion, and that they felt that Satan had come out victorious in the fight for his soul seemed to be quite enough of a clarification right there.

And yet, isn’t that what’s going on here anyway? Meaning that Satan, the enemy, has been and continues to be at war for our souls. The souls of everyone. The souls of those who were/are

Atheists
Charlatans
Communists
Lesbians
Terrorists
　
　
The souls of folks like

(Deceased)
Adolph Hitler
Karl Marx
Rock Hudson
Charles Ponzi
Osama Bin Laden

(Living)
Stephen Hawkings
Marilyn Manson
Ellen DeGeneres
Chaz Bono
Bernard Madoff
　
While not everyone in the world can be called ‘children of God,’ they are still His creations. Don’t you think God’s heart aches for those who choose to turn from Him and want nothing to do with Him, those who, for whatever reason, choose the wide path instead of the narrow one? And if we call ourselves followers of Christ, then our hearts should be heavy for those who have chosen the darkness instead of the Light, continually praying for their change of heart, recompense and a receiving of forgiveness, mercy and grace for them right up until the end, and mourning when they choose to remain held captive by the enemy.

So, back to what to keep in mind if you choose to view and listen to this video. And that is, what it says in the Bible, the very Word of God:

When the Pharisees saw this, they asked His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” ~ Matthew 9:11-13 (NIV)

And we can see that it was while we were powerless to help ourselves that Christ died for sinful men. In human experience it is a rare thing for one man to give his life for another, even if the latter be a good man, though there have been a few who have had the courage to do it. Yet the proof of God’s amazing love is this: that it was while we were sinners that Christ died for us. ~ Romans 5:6-8, (J.B. Phillips NT)　

My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know Him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent His only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God. ~ 1 John 4:7-12, (The Message)
　
The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. ~ 2 Peter 3:9, (ESV)

Believe me when I say that I’m not looking to offend anyone or to tick anybody off with this post. I just want to share that, because of this simple song, I’ve been reminded yet again that we are called not to love the sin…but to love the sinner. We are called to point those hard to deal with, hard to understand, hard to accept, hard to forgive, hard to look at, hard to listen to and speak with, hard to LOVE people to the One Who gave His One and Only Son for them.

Because God is love. And He loves everyone.

Beyond

2011-11-08T17:16:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us…”

In Ephesians 3:20, we are told that the Lord is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think. The words FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY in Greek are “huperekeina” (5238), and mean beyond – in one of the notes I read it means “the regions lying beyond the country of one’s residence.”

Come with me for a moment to someplace you know where you can see – someplace scenic, where the view goes on for miles and miles. Maybe for you it’s a mountaintop, or the top floor of a skyscraper, or standing at the ocean’s edge, staring out into the blue-grey horizon where the water meets the sky. That doesn’t even begin to encompass FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY. In the best view to our natural eye, we certainly can’t see the regions lying beyond the country of our residence. Even if you go on the internet and are able to find the site where you can see the earth from some satellite, you still can’t see beyond the regions lying beyond the country of our residence – because this is not our home, our residence is in Heaven. (Hebrews 11:13, 1 Peter 2:11, John 18:36). There’s a song entitled “This World is Not My Home” and the beginning says, “This world is not my home, I'm just passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.”

We can be very short-sighted sometimes, especially when we’re hurting or waiting on God. We want what we want when we want it! We get an idea in our head/heart that this person, this possession, this job - whatever it is that we’re clinging to so hard – is exactly what we need in our lives. It becomes our focus, that which we dwell upon and on which spend our time, energy and resources as we pursue it wholeheartedly. Just like in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, it becomes our “Precious”. We are taking our “Precious” and looking at it so closely, obsessing over it until it blocks out everything else from our spiritual sight… including all that God wants to give us.

It’s time to stop. It’s time to close our eyes and open our hands and let go of our “Precious”. As you kneel before the Lord, ask Him to forgive your short-sightedness (and short-heartedness), and to give you Jesus eyes to see His vision for you. As you hear the clatter and thud of your will/wants, your “Precious” tumbling out of your possession, open your eyes – to His FAR MORE ABUNDANTLY. We are unable to imagine/visualize or wrap our minds around all He wants to give to us, all He has in store for us, if we will but surrender our wills to Him. His dreams are bigger, and better, His plans more glorious and grand that we can even dare imagine for ourselves.

Let go. Place your heart and your life in His hands, and give Him authority over all you ask or think, over your plans and dreams.

Look and live BEYOND.

This World is Not My Home - Words and Music by Albert E. Brumley, © 1965 - Albert E. Brumley & Sons, All Rights Reserved

Greek definitions from www.studylight.org

Stop... Drop... and Listen (from Coach Linda Bush blog)

2011-10-26T15:23:00.001-04:00

Wild women are warm, generous and wonderful. Recently I was leading a group session and I asked the women what some of their goals were – not geared completely on physical/health goals, but life goals. After all, we are multi-faceted and multi-dimensional treasures, just like diamonds! One woman stated a goal I have never heard before in all my coaching time. I’ll call her Jane Doe, because if I gave her a shout out like I’d love to do, she would be terribly embarrassed (but you know who you are, dearie!). Anyway, Jane said, “I want to be able to give 100% of my undivided attention to each person who comes into my path.” W…O…W… this is her gift to each person she meets in order that they feel loved and special.

I gotta tell you, I was completely blown away. In this hamster-wheel world of pursuing Olympic speed multi-tasking madness (which, by the way, is proving not to be such a great idea after all), Jane has found a better way – a simple act which almost stops time itself, like a bubble surrounding Jane and the person to whom she is giving this beautiful offering of herself. I can personally attest to how warm and cared for I feel whenever I’m around Jane. I always look forward to being with her, and always come away feeling happier and blessed.

On my drive home that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I began to examine my interaction with others, and realized how lacking I was in giving someone my full time/attention. I may be listening, but often I’m doing something at the same time, my eyes are looking around, or I’m mentally elsewhere planning what I’m going to do next. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a complete oaf, but I became painfully aware of my scatteredness/duplicity in listening skills. Jane’s goal was inspirational, and got under my skin.

So… the next morning I vowed to make the same kind of commitment, to run towards the same goal as Jane. That’s the nice thing about positive, inspiration goals – they can be shared! I have begun to stop what I am doing when someone comes to see me and I give them my full, exclusive, unbroken attention. I turn towards them, focus on them, meet their eyes and listen. I avoid thinking of what I’m going to say in response to whatever they’re saying, I put down whatever I’m doing, and I’m just fully there for them. To me this is one of the simplest, loving acts I can give to another human being. My time and my attention.

I invite you to consider flexing your focus muscles, wild women, and fully give yourself into the conversation with the people you meet today. Stop… and listen… and gift them with the experience of walking away being a blessed person because they have been with you. After all, you are an amazing, warm, and wonderful wild woman!!

Blessings,
Linda

Setting Godly Goals

2011-09-30T14:10:00.000-04:00

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

October? Already? Wow, time has flown, hasn’t it? Looking back over September, have you reached any goals that you set at the beginning of the month? Did you even think about goals? Well, if you haven’t/didn’t/never even had a minute to think about it, don’t sweat it. That’s one of the nice things about the end of a month – a new start is just around the corner!

First, realize that everything you are/do/plan belongs to the Lord. Too often we go off and make all kinds of plans without ever thinking about inviting God into the process. Your life belongs to Him, and He has plans for you! So before you begin, set your October calendar before the Lord, get down on your knees, and place it all before Him. Pray about everything that is already on your calendar, and then ask Him to guide you in everything over the next month. Pray about each item specifically. Then pray for wisdom to set some specific goals this month in every area of your life, as He leads you. You probably wouldn’t take a month-long trip without lots of planning, maps and directions, right? So why go into a new month of your life without making some plans and setting a few goals, with the Master Designer as your divine Travel Planner? You want your goals to be S.M.A.R.T., which stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. For example, if I had a goal of saving money next month, that’s not really specific, so I have no way to measure my success come November 1st. However, if I say I’d like to save $100, here’s how I would do it.

S – specific – yes, $100 is a very specific amount

M – measurable – yes, I can see all month long how I’m doing

A –Achievable – hmm… can I save $100? That would be about $25/week, or $3.22/a day. Okay, if I brought my lunch a few days a week, didn’t go to Starbucks and made my coffee at home, pick up a lot of pennies, and made a few minor changes, I could probably save that much a day without feeling a crazy amount of sacrifice.

R – Realistic – Yes, I think saving $3.22 a day could be reasonable for me to do. Okay, maybe I have to do some couch-cushion hunting here and there, and shake out the bottom of the old pocketbook, but it is do-able.

T – Timely (or tangible). Yes, I can fit it in a timeframe, with a specific beginning and end.

Now that you have the goal-setting tools to use, how about gently stepping out there, taking a deep breath and make one target October goal for the following areas:

1) Physical goal (example: I’d like to lose five pounds)
2) Financial goal (example: I’d like to save $X amount)
3) Personal goal (example: I’d like to read that book)
4) Career goal (example: I want to get info on a seminar or college course that will help me in my career, or I want to leave 15 minutes earlier each day)
5) Relationship goal (I want to have a date night with my spouse/significant other this month, or spend some one-on-one time with a parent, child or friend)
6) Spiritual goal: (example: I want to read one Proverb a day, or read the book of Galatians, or memorize four Scripture verses, or pray about going/giving to that upcoming missions trip at church)
7) Dream goal: (I always wanted to visit the Grand Canyon. So this month I’m going to get information on traveling there – maybe visit a travel website, find out how much it would cost, get some brochures, etc.)

That gives you one goal a day to work on. They’re not big bahonkin’ crazy I’ll never reach them goals. They are baby steps, I can do this goals. Grab your calendar, make a note, break each one down into bite-size once a week bits, and mark a big red “GO FOR IT” on October 1st!!!

Share your comments here on what you goals will be – email me if you have any questions at linda@coachlindabush.com. I’m off to get an empty glass jar so I can drop $3.22 in it each day in October and watch my goal grow!

Psalm 20:4 May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

Muzzle Me!

2011-08-30T08:37:00.003-04:00

Psalm 39:1 I said, “I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth...”

I’m ashamed of myself. Yesterday I was unkind. I spoke harshly to someone and I just feel awful about it. My Mom calls it “verbal sniping” – when you shoot word bullets. Unfortunately, I think I was born with champion genes for this nasty little talent. Instead of taking this person aside and quietly and gently voicing my concern, I just was snippy and snotty and… sinful.

I am so thankful Christ doesn’t deal with me in this way, and heartsick that I did not reflect Him in my words or attitude. Yeah, some witness – and while I know I have asked His forgiveness, just as in yesterday’s post (boy don’t those words come back and bite me); the consequences of my sin are still there. When this person looks at me next time, will she see Jesus? Or will she see a mean-spirited, unkind and impatient woman? Oh Father, please give me an opportunity to apologize, and then won’t You muzzle these loose lips?

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Aftermath

2011-08-29T13:21:00.002-04:00

1 John 1:9 "“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Many of us here on the east coast are dealing with the double-header aftermath of last week’s earthquake and hurricane combo. Talk about a one-two punch! Some of us have come through with scratches, while others have had evacuations, flooding, and loss of property. Thankfully, it wasn’t quite as bad as was originally expected, but for someone standing in three feet of water in their basement, bailing all night because the electricity that powered their sump pump went off, it’s a little harder to stop and count the blessings of what has been left in the aftermath.

Aftermath – there’s an interesting word. What does it mean? Well, the dictionary definition is: A noun – (1) something that results or follows from an event, especially one of a disastrous; (2) a new growth of grass following one or more mowings, which may be grazed, mowed, or plowed under. Some synonyms include: results, consequences, outcome, upshot, repercussion, after effects.

Sin is often like an upcoming storm. We frequently know about it ahead of time – there are warnings (a troubled spirit, feeling uncomfortable, the temptation that we know we should avoid). The Holy Spirit sends those forewarnings to our hearts, and we know we should evacuate the premises of temptation immediately and run straight into the safety and shelter of our Lord’s arms. Sometimes pride tells us we can “ride it out” and we stay, thinking we can fight it in our own strength. Sometimes, like surfers riding the large pre-hurricane waves, we play with the sin just a bit. All too often (and I write this with far too much experience to count), we give in to the sin and it wipes us out. Perhaps no one knows but you and God. But sin always impacts, and the aftermath is always there. Like a single drop of water on a glass-smooth lake, the ripples flow, touching the entire surface of the body of water. Make no mistake, sin will ripple out and affect your life, your walk with the Lord, your family and friends and co-workers, and its aftermath can be disastrous, wreaking unbelievable havoc that you never thought could happen.

David knew all about that – just read his account of his seemingly secret one-night-stand with Bathsheba in Psalm 51. What began as one act of illicit passion turned into an unexpected pregnancy, lies, and murder. Yet read further and find that, in his brokenness, David still hoped in the Lord, in His forgiveness and restoration. In the New Testament in 1 John 1:9, we can rejoice that no matter what, we are forgiven when we confess our sins and repent: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

As you stand in the rubble of the aftermath of your sin, you can take comfort in God’s grace, knowing God loves you and through the grace of Christ we can be forgiven and forever cleansed of that sin. That being said, however, there are times we must deal with the consequences of our sins, whatever they may be. It doesn’t mean God doesn’t love us, but we are responsible for our choices, and they can’t always be wiped away like magic, like they just never happened. But like the second definition of aftermath says, new growth can come from an aftermath. Think about how the forest recuperates and often thrives after a forest fire. It may take awhile, but it does happen. Our choices can also be like the opportunities of the aftermath – will you allow it to plow you under with shame, or will you learn and grow from it, and allow God to work in your life as He sees fit in order that you grow stronger? The choices all belong to you. What will you choose today?

George Müller on knowing the will of God

2011-08-23T22:27:00.000-04:00

•I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. Nine-tenths of the trouble with people generally is just here. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are over come when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is.

•Having done this, I do not leave the result to feeling or simple impression. If so, I make myself liable to great delusions.

•I seek the Will of the Spirit of God through, or in connection with, the Word of God. The Spirit and the Word must be combined. If I look to the Spirit alone without the Word, I lay myself open to great delusions also. If the Holy Ghost guides us at all, He will do it according to the Scriptures and never contrary to them.

•Next I take into account providential circumstances. These often plainly indicate God's Will in connection with His Word and Spirit.

•I ask God in prayer to reveal His Will to me aright.

•Thus, through prayer to God, the study of the Word, and reflection, I come to a deliberate judgment according to the best of my ability and knowledge, and if my mind is thus at peace, and continues so after two or three more petitions, I proceed accordingly. In trivial matters, and in transactions involving most important issues, I have found this method always effective.

Oh How He Loves You and Me

2011-08-23T06:18:00.000-04:00

For God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son so that anyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. In this act we see what real love is: it is not our love for God, but His love for us when He sent His only Son to satisfy God's anger against our sins. It is from God alone that you have your life through Christ Jesus. He showed us God's plan of salvation; He was the One who made us acceptable to God; He made us pure and holy and gave Himself to purchase our salvation.

John 3:16; 1 Corinthians 1:30

Looking for the love of your life? Come to Jesus.

The Secret Treasures Within Depression

2011-08-09T20:05:00.001-04:00

Isaiah 45:3 And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, Who calls you by your name.

Clinical depression is a place of great darkness and secrecy. It is a place that you wrap around you like a warm, safe (albeit it dysfunctional) blanket…until you discover you have become engulfed in what has become a prison, a suffocating cocoon from which you think you will never escape. It paralyzes as it squeezes the breath from your lungs and the life from your blood. The more you struggle, the greater the restriction, until you are numb from the heart out, exhausted, and ready to give up altogether. You forget how to think, how to hope, even how to pray.

Yet, even in these obsidian shadows of the abyss, God is still God. While you feel your soul has lost consciousness and perhaps even died, God is there, for He will not abandon you. You may not feel Him, but no matter, the truth is… He is with you. Once the silent screaming of your broken heart subsides, as you lie there quietly, listen past the lies of your feelings to the truth of His very presence.

It is only then that you become ready to receive the treasures of darkness, the hidden riches of this secret place to which He has allowed you to journey. It is there He calls you by name, and wipes away your tears, with the most gentle of caresses. No, He may not ever explain His reasons or ways. But He is with you, loving you, teaching you, restoring and renewing you into His design.

Listen…

In the Shadow of His Wings - a New Blog

2011-07-08T10:03:00.001-04:00

My dear friend Pam has FINALLY begun her own blog, and I would like to share it with all of you. Pam has a real heart for the Lord, and one of her many gifts is writing -- her words are inspirational, gritty, funny, challenging, and always authentic and real. Please visit her blog (and subscribe to it) at: http://pam-intheshadowofhiswings.blogspot.com/

In the meantime, I'd like to introduce you to her writings by posting here her latest entry, called "Jesus Says". I know you will be blessed as I have been as you read it and let it flow over you. I'm printing it and putting a copy in my Bible, my journal, and at work and maybe even my bathroom mirror to be a constant reminder of how best to serve our Savior on a daily basis. Enjoy, and many blessings!

Jesus says:

Search for Me tirelessly
Pursue Me relentlessly
Pray to Me unceasingly
Listen to Me carefully
Wait for Me expectantly
Accept Me willingly
Live for Me joyfully
Hold onto Me tightly
Share Me unashamedly
Love Me sacrificially
Trust in Me confidently
Obey Me faithfully
Serve Me humbly
Speak of Me courageously
Worship Me authentically
Praise Me IN SPITE OF......
Endure with Me patiently
Surrender to Me always
Have faith in Me completely
Confess to Me honestly

Love others unconditionally
Forgive others sincerely
Give to others unselfishly
Extend mercy and grace to others consistently
And don't give up!

The One Who Lifts My Head

2011-05-02T09:56:00.000-04:00

Psalm 3:3 “But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.”

I was talking with a friend about how we deal with the rough patches in our lives, and how pain, grief and anguish literally come down so hard that it physically takes its toll on our bodies. We even find ourselves walking with our heads down, looking at the ground. Our shoulders are rounded, breathing is shallow, and we physically encompass the phrase, “They’re carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.”

We’ve all been there, done that, worn the tee-shirt, and burned it! And, though I would like to think otherwise, the fact is we will probably face more dark valleys along the journey. I’d be lying if I said with a cheerful smile, “Oh, okay, God – bring it on! Sure, no problem, let’s do some more of those life lessons so I will be a more mature, holy, Christ-followin', Bible totin’ woman.” NOT!!!! I hate these lessons. I’m tired, I don’t want them, nor do I want any more stress, pain, pressure, anguish, brokenness, confusion, and tears. God, I just can’t do one more lesson, I can’t take one more thing. Can You just pllluuueeezzeee come back now so all this will be done and over with, because I am more than ready to go Home!!!

My friend brought Psalm 3:3 to my attention. And in my godly state, I must confess, I thought with a raised eyebrow, “Excuse me? You are a shield about me? Then why am I going through all this?” (Okay, so I don’t win the Steeped in Faith award this month.) I can intellectually wrap my brain around it, and I can believe it in my head, but when you’re in the middle of a big, bahonkin’ hot mess, it’s hard to fully embrace.

But here’s what resonated with me, what connected for me in this verse: “…the One who lifts my head.” My head has been so far down I have concrete scrape marks on my forehead. Yet here is a picture of a loving Father, who takes my head in both His hands, and gently raises my face up to His own. I imagine Him wiping the hair from my eyes, wiping the tears from my cheeks, and suddenly I take one long, deep breathe as I look up at Him. No words… just a silent moment. Then He gathers me into His arms and simply holds me, those everlasting arms shielding me.

It doesn’t mean it will all go away. It doesn’t mean I don’t have to go through this right now. It doesn’t mean I understand any better or like it any more or want it to stop any less. But what it does mean, for me, is that in this moment, I am shielded as I rest in my Father’s arms, and know He loves me, in spite of everything I’m experiencing and feeling at this point in my life. It may not be inspirational, nor is it some great theological revelation. It is what it is, and I find comfort in it, and enough courage to keep going on, my head a little higher.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

After Awhile

2011-04-18T08:41:00.001-04:00

An old poem that I've read since high school days... still so applicable...

AFTER AWHILE

by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while
you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security
and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
and you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn

Butterfly

2011-04-14T15:15:00.002-04:00

One unusually warm November afternoon
As I sat outside, enjoying the unexpected warmth of the sun
Mingled with the chill of anticipated winter in the air
A butterfly lit upon my hand
Dark and glorious
Grand, sleek wings of midnight
Proud and luminous -- capturing my every attention
Wounded, struggling to keep its balance
On my skin
Frozen, mesmerized by the lightness and beauty
I held my breath
Time stopped as its presence kissed my soul
My heart longing to heal the injuries sustained
Before exploring my gentle, welcoming world
Cautiously it took one step towards me
Then another in hesitant, fearful retreat
The dance continued for what seemed an eternity
Tempted, I wanted so to stroke those exquisite wings
Bandage the wounds
But reality drew back the offered touch
Which could only harm, no matter the love
Behind it
An icy breeze intruded -- an uninvited guest
Calling my new friend, who just as abruptly
Bid me goodbye
With nothing more than that ephemeral moment
To linger with a bittersweet ache in my memory
To stir and awaken my lonely heart’s emptiness
The skies clouded grey as the frost of the season descended

Moments of joy in the morning

2011-03-27T19:53:00.001-04:00

Psalm 30:5: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (KJV)

Like the first rays of light on a new sunrise, so God’s love and comfort breathes new life into the darkness of our sorrows. No, it doesn’t mean that we will find immediate resolve to the problem, or that the pain will altogether disappear. No, sometimes it simply means that we aren’t crying constantly, but find an hour or two of blessed relief. Maybe it’s only a few moments when you first wake up in the morning and don’t remember right away your living hell.

But we must learn to cling to this verse and these blessings with all our might. You may be called to sit with this pain for what seems like an eternity. The joy may be only in moments at a time, but like a precious raindrop in a dessert starved for water, we must savor every one and remember it well until the next.

God is faithful. He will bring you through… in His time. Hang on.

The Wall of If Onlys

2011-03-26T18:32:00.001-04:00

Jeremiah 29:11-14 For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you,’ says the Lord.

I smash my fists against the Wall of “If Onlys”
The bricks of
… If only I had made this decision
… If only I hadn’t made that
… If only this hadn’t happened to me
… If only that had
… If only I didn’t have this in my life
… If only I did have this
… If only I had walked away
… If only I had chosen to

If only… If only… If only
Until my flesh is raw and bloody
And my head is bruised and bleeding
My body slumped and crumbled
Sobbing, brokenhearted
Gasping for breath as you only can when
Hope has been strangled by If Only
Like a dead dream tossed without a thought in some corner

The warmth of His presence
Awakens me, like Lazarus rising from the tomb
Except…
I scream ‘JESUS!!!!!”
How could You?
How could You let these things happen to me?
How could You stand by and heartlessly do NOTHING?!?!?!?
How could You let me down? Abandon me? Not care?
He gathers me up in His arms
Gently and tenderly, a bruised and tender rag doll
As if I were the most precious thing on earth

I sob as He rocks me slowly in Those arms of strength
“It’s not fair,”, I whimper, “I didn’t deserve this…”
He reaches for me, and I see His nail-pierced hand
Remembering, I am silent… my heart knows He knows my pain… He understands

“I love you with an everlasting love”, He whispers tenderly
“Someday all will be revealed, but for now I need you to have faith,
I need you to trust Me, to believe that I am working it all out for you
Even when it seems to make no sense – that I have a plan
Even when it seems to go against everything your eyes can see
And your mind can comprehend

He wipes away my tears
And collects each one like a precious jewel
His love surrounds… no, encompasses me
I bury my head in His chest, and breath… perhaps for the first time ever…
The sweetness of His righteousness fragrant and heady
And I choose Him… I choose to believe
In the safety of His arms
In the bizarre logic of belief in what I cannot see or comprehend
I rest… and find my peace
I focus on Christ, and on the blessings
As the Wall of What Ifs comes crumbing down

Broken Heart... Broken Dreams

2011-03-25T18:10:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 3:5: Trust in the LORD with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding.

Into every woman’s life comes a broken heart at some point on the path. For some the path is littered by the rubble, and for others it is blessedly infrequent. Caused by many factors, it can be a long-expected tragedy, or it can suddenly appear out of nowhere, no announcement, no preparation… one moment you’re fine and the next you can’t even breath. All you can do is cry and cry and cry… and then cry some more, gasping for air and reeling from the agonizing pain. Or sometimes it just leaves you numb, dead stone cold numb…

Hopes and dreams lie shattered around your feet like blood-soaked bomb shrapnel, and as you drop to your knees you cry out to God. Maybe you can’t even speak. Maybe all that escapes is a groan that only the Holy Spirit can decipher. Maybe it’s nothing more than the choked whisper of the name of Jesus. Prayers you thought were answered are tossed away in confusion, and plans you thought were from the sanctioned center of God’s will have now turned to ashes.

There is no way out. You must go through it. There is no immediate relief, no easy answers, no escape, except perhaps to sleep, and even then the dreams haunt you and taunt you until there is no sanctuary… just pain and sorrow. And you just don’t think you can go through this one more time…

It is in this darkest hour, when there is nothing left of you, that you must remember that God is still God, no matter what. Our understanding is limited, but God is limitless. Through the tears we must seek His face and believe He loves us, and that His heart is breaking as well. We must look past ourselves into His sovereignty, His majesty, and His Lordship, and know that He is God. And know that He is in control. And know someday He will turn these ashes into beauty.

We are not called to an easy walk when we follow Christ. It won’t always make sense, and it may require us to walk through the valley of the shadow of death – including death to self and all our hopes and dreams and desires – put on the altar, sacrificed. We may never know on this side of Heaven the answer to the WHY that we cry out to him over and over. But we must try and find our rest, our peace, the mending and filling of our crushed heart, in Christ alone, our only hope. He loves us with a love that will never abandon us, never leave us… hold fast to this truth. Hold on, even if it’s one minute at a time… hold onto Jesus.

A segment of an old poem called “After Awhile” by Veronica A. Shoffstall:

…And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn, with every good-bye you learn.

Feeling sheepish?

2011-03-18T08:04:00.001-04:00

John 10:27 10:27 My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

Sometimes the days just plod along, one after the other, flowing into mindless, mundane madness. Nothing fantastic, nothing horrific… just basically nothing. It’s easy to begin to wonder what in the world God has put you on earth for – to yawn??? Like sheep on a hillside, we just go along, following the rest of the herd, doing the “dailies”, practically numb to the routine.

Well, take a look at this video. When I saw it, it made me think of the amazing possibilities life can have in store for us when we just listen intently to the Great Shepherd and follow His leading. Imagine how long this took, and then think of the fact that the sheep had no idea of the big picture, they were just all about following their Master’s voice. It’s a wonderful visual reminder of how God may be moving us into places we don’t currently understand, and we may not even agree with right now, but He knows why He’s putting you in THAT exact spot at THIS specific moment in time. He is moving you into places where you will be used for His bigger picture, part of His magnificent overall plan.

Listen to His voice today, and light up your world for His glory!

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO

With Pen in Hand...

2011-03-15T13:22:00.000-04:00

Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

I have a thing about writing instruments, always have. I have always loved the new box of crayons with their brilliant little bright heads peeking up out of the box, fragrant with the promise of creativity and art dreams. Of course, ink markers are wonderful as well, and any kind of colored pencils. But pens, ah, here is where the heart beats faster – when you open a journal page and have the perfect pen, it’s a little bit of heaven. The pen cradles into your hand like a custom fit, the smooth ink flows and practically writes the words itself, smooth and neat and precise.

Awhile back my mom happened to give me a pen, and it was love at first write. Fantastic! I was inspired, and the ink went right to my head. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a new life form, but it was a darned good writing pen. Since then, every time I’m in Staples, I get more of this brand of pen. I can’t get enough of these bad boys, I now have a stash in my purse, on my home desk, in my briefcase, there’s everywhere!!! So the other day, I opened up a new batch of babies with far too much excitement (seriously, I obviously need a life here), and pulled a few out, tossed them in my purse, and happily went about my business. Later in the day, I rooted around in the endless pit that is said purse, grabbed one, and begin to write. Three letters, then a skip, one more word, then another skip. What?!?!!? What?!!? My trusted pen was skipping and missing all over the place. I pulled out a second – no!!!! Say it’s not so – same problem!!!! It was frustrating for this crazy pen-lover. I guess they had been sitting around awhile and the ink had begun drying up for lack of use.

Well, it got me to thinking… am I like this pen in my Christian walk? Stay with me here, I’m not over the edge… seriously, is my consistency in my relationship with Christ, and my day-to-day life in Him, as hit or miss as this pen? You know, I can still “look good” on the outside – shiny bright, lookin’ all kinds of happy and obedient, tossing off all the standard-issue “Christianese” words that make me look more holy than a little girl in her patent leather MaryJanes and new hat at Easter! But that doesn’t mean anything if my interior isn’t right – my heart, my thoughts, my attitude, my daily reliable time meeting with my Father in prayer and the reading of His word. Is my walk fresh and new each day, or have I become complacent and allowed my faith to sit on the shelf and dry up like the ink in my pen?

My life, much like everyone else, is crazy busy, and I struggle to set aside time each day to be with my Savior. Or maybe I’ll squeeze in a few moments to read at the end of the day, then try not to fall asleep. I have every good intention of getting up early to spend time with Him first, and next thing I know I’m praying haphazardly as I negotiate my way through my morning commute. 2 Samuel 22:26 tells us to show ourselves faithful. Romans 12:12 exhorts us to “be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” And in Revelation 2:10 we are called to be faithful.

I want my daily living to be an unswerving, smooth, regular relationship with my God. Not blotchy, or spotty, or with patches of barely-there-ness. When the book of my life is opened when I am laid to rest and go to meet my Father, I want page after page to read the solidly-inked story of a life well-lived and wholly dedicated to Him.

May I be reminded of this every time I pick up a pen from now on!

Are You Tearing Apart The Marriage of a Friend?

2011-02-22T13:07:00.000-05:00

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all…”

I work with a guy whom I will call Joe. Joe is in his late 20’s, is someone you're always happy to bump into, and has been married for a little over a year or so. He and his bride were high school sweethearts, and have been together about ten years now – a feat in and of itself! We were talking about marriage and career, and where Joe was headed next in life. What he said next almost brought tears to my eyes.

He said that right now he and his wife were just focusing on their marriage. He shared that in his current job position, he has been asked periodically to work out in the field instead of the corporate office – not just for a week, but for extended periods of several months at a time. Joe confided that, when asked, he explains that this isn’t a good time right now, because his wife couldn’t join him. He said his managers look at him like he’s got three heads, and then say, “But your wife will understand!” They can’t wrap their brains around the fact that Joe would prioritize his wife to a higher position than his career. The concept just ain’t even showing up on their radar screens. This talented, hard-working young man is risking, even turning his back on, the fast track to “success” in the industry by choosing his wife and marriage over what may be seen as valuable career experience. What a rare thing to see, and I pray God will bless them both richly for this choice. I guess Joe’s managers haven’t considering Deuteronomy 24:5 (Amplified Bible): “When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken.”

This made me think of how we honor the marriages of our friends and colleagues. When was the last time you prayed for the marriage of someone, not because they were having difficulty, but just because you wanted to support them and respect their marriage? In some traditional marriage vows, it is proclaimed, “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” Asunder – an adjective meaning “into separate parts, into pieces; apart or widely separated.” Do we not put asunder a friend’s marriage when we speak words of discouragement and disparagement against their spouse? Do we not tear at the very fabric of someone’s marriage when we participate with her in sarcasm/joking/little jabs about her husband? Doesn’t joining with the girls in a little (even subtle) man-bashing highlight their husbands’ weaknesses and expose/make vulnerable the problem areas of their marriage? I’m not saying this is a woman thing, this happens constantly for both sexes, for we often make our spouse the brunt of many a joke, making fun of them in front of other people, then covering the damage by an explanation of, “Oh, I was only joking, don’t be so sensitive!”

Instead we need to stand enmeshed, heart to heart, to weave a strong hedge of love, protection, and consecration around the honor of marriage, for the unity of a husband/wife, and to do everything we can to be a source of encouragement and support for these two who journey together in the partnership God has given them. Take every opportunity to lift up your friend’s husband, your friend’s wife – reminding them of all that is good and loving and respectable and wonderful in the person they have married. When they come to you with a problem, of course you listen and acknowledge it, but pray with them/for them, read the Scriptures to seek godly answers. Certainly, I am not addressing areas of danger and abuse – what I am speaking of is the everyday occurrences, the “dailies” of marital problems. Dr. Stephen Covey calls talking about someone else “confessing their sins” – don’t be part of that negative and ungodly practice. Instead, vow as in Job 27:4 that your lips will not speak wickedness, and your tongue will whisper no deceit, and each day remember James 4:11 “Do not speak against one another.” Instead use your words to build up, edify marriage and marriage partners collectively and individually, and let your words be skillfully spoken, “like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11) Imagine how many marriages could be made stronger, more satisfying, and more fortified against the threat of divorce?

Challenge – for the next week, speak only positive words of encouragement to your friends about their spouses, and especially make it a point to speak the same words of love and support to the one to whom you have entrusted your own heart.

To Hold the Hand... To Hold the Heart

2011-02-17T09:38:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 42:6 I the Lord have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee.

Transliterated word for hold – “chazaq” verb – to strengthen, to prevail, to make strong, restore/give strength, to support, to repair, to encourage

Today I read the devotional “Hold onto the Hand” from “Joy and Strength” by Mary Wilder Tileston (see below). To be honest, I’ve don’t remember ever reading this verse in Isaiah before, but then again, sometimes when we need it God causes a particular verse or passage of Scripture jump out like a neon sign, doesn’t He?

Think about the last time you slipped your hand into the hand of someone you loved. It immediately makes both a physical and emotional connection. I’m an unabashedly unashamed lover of hand-holding, and my heart always is moved when I am walking along and see that special someone’s hand in front of/beside me extended in invitation to reach out and take hold. It is an invitation to intimacy. My smaller hand in his, fingers entwined – it is a feeling of warmth, of safety, of feeling very special and proud that I am walking with him – and it visually identifies our personal relationship to others.

When someone you know/love is hurting, how often have you reached out and held their hand? When you pray with a friend, do you often hold hands? At times of encouragement, have you leaned over and placed your hand on top of the one you wish to encourage? Again, it is a non-verbal way of saying you care, of offering your support, of saying “I’m here for you”. How often this one small act of giving yourself says so much more than words could proclaim?

Sometimes when I am praying, especially when I need to “feel” Jesus in a tangible way, I will reach out and pretend that I am holding His hand. It brings me great comfort, imagining that He is sitting next to me, my hand in His. Okay, maybe it sounds a little odd, but it works for me. In fact, on my way to work this morning, I was doing the “commuter prayers” and while talking to Jesus (yes, I chat away as if He was right there), I did in fact reach over the (seemingly) empty seat next to me, and envisioned my hand clasped in His.

There was a song in the 70s by Anderson Lynn called “Put Your Hand in the Hand” and it spoke of putting your hand in His hand, the One who stilled the waters and calmed the sea. May I encourage you to take a moment to reach out to Jesus, slip your hand in His, and know His love for you today?

*********************************
Title: Hold on to the Hand
Author: Mary Wilder Tileston
Scripture References:
Isaiah 8:6
Devotion: Joy and Strength

DON'T be content with spending all your time on your faults, but try to get a step nearer to God. It is not He who is far away from us, but we from Him. If you ask me the best means to persevere, I would say, if you have succeeded in getting hold of Almighty God's hand, don't let it go.

Keep hold of Him by constantly renewing ejaculatory prayers to Him, acts of desire, and the seeking to please Him in little things.
MOTHER FRANCIS RAPHAEL

Strive to be as a little child who, while its mother holds its hand, goes on fearlessly, and is not disturbed because it stumbles and trips in its weakness. So long as God holds you up by the will and determination to serve Him with which He inspires you, go on boldly and do not be frightened at your little checks and falls, so long as you can throw yourself into His arms in trusting love. Go there with an open, joyful heart as often as possible; if not always joyful, at least go with a brave and faithful heart.
ST. FRANCIS DE SALES

True Woman | Have You Started a Forest Fire Today?

2011-02-15T08:37:00.000-05:00

True Woman | Have You Started a Forest Fire Today?

Well, Shut My Garbage Spewin' Mouth!

2011-02-13T21:21:00.002-05:00

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Lately I’ve become more aware of the things that come out of my mouth. It’s embarrassing and painful to admit, but way too often I find that I have a very acerbic tongue, a cutting humor, a critical spirit, and easily shoot verbal bullets at people (my Mom calls it “verbal sniping” – because it’s so easy to hurt someone with words). The original Greek refers to unwholesome as “rotten, putrefied; of poor quality”. Basically garbage mouth!

When I think of unwholesome words, the first thing that comes to mind is either actively cutting someone down or cursing up a storm. You know, the “big” things that you know you’re not supposed to say. But those little running comments, that little put-down here, that sarcastic answer there, well, they’re like termites in the foundation of a relationship that slowly eat away at someone, and also eat away at the foundation of my witness as a Christ-follower. Later in the verse we’re called to use words that build others up. Hmmm… that goes along with my whole termite scenario. I get this visual of each word that comes out of my mouth being a brick, and I can use that brick to either build up, or to slam and destroy. So much power, so much riding on everything that I say throughout the day.

I remember hearing once a good rule of thumb to check what you’re about to say – “Is it truthful? Is it accurate? Is it necessary?” I would also like to add “Is it beneficial – will it build up or tear down?” Which brings me also to two verses that I will pray each morning from now on:

Psalm 141:3 – “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Psalm 19:14 – “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

An Excellent Wife Who Can Find - I Can't Find Myself, and I'm Not Even Married!

2011-02-07T13:41:00.001-05:00

Proverbs 31:10 "An excellent wife who can find?"

Excellent: the Hebrew word is a masculine noun for strength, ability, translated as able, capable, full, strong, substantial, a warrior, valiant, and worthy. The dictionary definition of excellent is “possessing outstanding quality or superior merit; remarkably good; extraordinary.

Wife: is the Hebrew feminine noun defined as woman (opposite of man), female, and in the NAS is translated and used often for a variety of women (from harlot to single to married to widow).

When I read the word for wife (woman), and how it’s used for so many women, I think of the song by Chaka Khan (and later Whitney Houston) “I’m Every Woman”. I also think of the old Peggy Lee song, “”Cause I’m a Woman (W-O-M-A-N). And how can we forget the 70’s feminist theme song by Helen Reddy “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar”? The definitions swirl in my head as I try to sort it all out.

Add to the mix the fact that I am an unmarried woman, so where do I find my place in this beginning of the first verse of the Scripture passage on the “Proverbs Woman”? It’s taken me years to tackle this section but now my heart desires to really, truly understand what it means, and what it means personally to me/about me/for me to emulate. What makes me an excellent woman?

I am immediately drawn to the words “strength”, “valiant”, “warrior”, and “substantial”. This ain’t no milk toast mama we’re talking about here – this female is fierce! My first visual is that of a Christian Amazon woman! (Believe me, considering all the books I buy, I already qualify as an Amazon woman … but I digress). I’m digging this already, but wondering how I balance this woman with the phrases “submissive” and “quiet and gentle spirit” from other sections of Scripture. Hmmm… That will have to be a whole ‘nuther blog post!

Where to first? Okay, excellence – from whence does my excellence come? It must come from Christ – He must be my example. Christ an example of an excellent woman? Whoa, hold on, won’t that get me tossed off the women’s ministry team and possibly excommunicated??? No, because His example rises so far above the boundaries of male/female. He is Savior, Lord, Perfection. When I define myself I must find my identity first in Him. My worth, my substance, any strength or valor comes from His Holy Spirit living in me, helping me each day be more Christlike. Romans 11:36 tells me all things are from Him and through Him, and Philippians 4:13 tells me I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Let’s not forget warrior – as a “warrior woman” I am to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and battle the enemy daily. Another song comes to mind: “Onward Christian Soldiers”. Finally, worthy – to be worthy – I find my worth in Him as well, not in another person here on earth or in my own efforts, but in knowing Christ’s love for me and His sacrifice for me on the Cross, and the Father’s love/forgiveness for me. When I think on these things, how can I not recognize my worth to Him? To Him I am far more precious than jewels (as the second half of Proverbs 31:10 is written).

So there you go – today I will see myself through His eyes, and to join my sisters worldwide in the journey and goal of being a woman of excellence.

Singing in the Shadows

2011-01-28T11:49:00.000-05:00

Psalm 68:4 Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts, Whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him.

Some days my heart is like a barren woman hopeless for a child – empty, lonely, and sad. At times when I feel this way it’s as if I’m going to implode, that this aching hole will begin to suck me in until there is nothing left of me at all, only the gaping pain and blackness.

I hate feeling this way. Sometimes circumstances of my life bring me to this place – disappointment in a situation or person or myself, anticipated actions by someone don’t come to pass, overwhelming stress from a clamoring schedule, the loneliness that feels like solitary confinement. My plans/hopes/dreams aren’t coming to fruition, or my patience is running out. There are times it may stem from being physically tired, or just those crazy hormones/chemicals in my body going completely out of whack.

For whatever reason, I get so angry with myself for not being self-sufficient and able to handle it. I want to shut down my heart so that the pain (or people) can’t come in, or to self-medicate with the many unhealthy methods I’ve learned in my lifetime as I seek to “make it all go away”. It makes me feel weak, and out of control, and needy – and I hate that, for I want to be strong, self-reliant, never needing anyone. I fight not to cry, or to reach out, or to admit my need. Instead I close the shades, and withdrawl figuratively (and sometimes literally) into the searing shadows.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss recently quoted Oswald Chambers using the phrase “singing in the shadows” while speaking on serenity. Serenity… about the most opposite place I could be in these times. But when I think of “singing in the shadows”, the first thing I notice is that I’m not being asked to ignore what I’m feeling. It’s not saying that these feelings aren’t there, or that they are wrong, or that if I only had more faith I wouldn’t be in this mess and I’d be happy. It affirms that the shadows indeed are there, but it’s asking for a sacrifice of praise during this time. God is asking me to go beyond my feelings, to wade through the muck to a place where I can at least raise my face to Him and whisper His name. He knows I may not be able to do much else than that, but to Him that may be a beautiful melody, a praise beyond what I can imagine, even though to me it’s a failing, meager attempt at song, yet another disappointment for us both.

So, Lord, when I am in this bad place, I will seek You. I will ask You to take My hand and hold on tight. I will ask You to hold me close, and wrap Yourself around me. I will do my best to look for whatever it may be you are trying to teach me, or rest in the valley of darkness and wait on You. I will intentionally stop looking at me and lift my eyes to You. I know this doesn’t mean it suddenly will “all go away”. But… if You are there, filling up the emptiness/loneliness with Yourself, I can learn to sing in the shadows.

Weakness

2011-01-28T10:18:00.003-05:00

Today's Devotion is gratefully taken from the 1/28/11 devotion "Joy and Strength" from www.backtothebible.org

Isaiah 40:29 He gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people. Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ’s power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite happy about “the thorn” and about insults and hardships, persecutions and difficulties; for when I am weak, then I am strong – the less I have, the more I depend on Him.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.

Judges 5:21 March on, my soul with strength!

Title: Receiving From God's Hand
Author: Mary Wilder Tileston
Scripture References:
1 Chronicles 29:12-13 Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone. Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name.”

WHEN I have nothing in my hand
Wherewith to serve my King,
When Thy commandment finds me weak
And wanting everything,
My soul, upon Thy greatness cast,
Shall rise divinely free;
Then will I serve with what Thou hast,
And gird myself with Thee.
ANNA L. WARING

HOW are we to approach such blessed strength? First of all, through a steadfast will to refuse nothing that God requires of us, and to do nothing deliberately which can displease Him. Next, we must learn to take our faults humbly, as proofs of our weakness, and use them to increase our trust in God, and our mistrust of self. Neither must we be discouraged at our own wretchedness, or give way to the thought that we cannot do or bear any special thing; our duty is, while confessing that of ourselves it is impossible, to remember that God is all-powerful, and that through Him we can do whatever He may require of us. We must learn to say with St. Augustine, "Give me what Thou commandest, and command what Thou wilt." JEAN NICOLAS GROU

2011-01-24T13:58:00.000-05:00

Colossians 4:8 (Amplified Bible) "I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are faring and that he may comfort and cheer and encourage your hearts.

With the new year comes new goals, and we think things like “what do I want to accomplish, what do I want to lose, what do I want to learn, I, I, I….” Well, I would like to encourage you to take those I’s off yourself and focus them outward onto other-centered goals. For example, how about seeking out ways to be an encouragement to the people in your life? In the book of Colossians, Paul sends Timothy out to encourage the Colossians' hearts (Colossians 4:8). He also sent Timothy to the Thessalonians to strengthen and encourage them as to their faith. Paul then asks that they themselves in turn encourage one another and build one another up. (1 Thessalonians 3:2, 5, 11.) In Hebrews 3:13 we are told to encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called today! The Greek word for the Holy Spirit is parakletos, and can be translated as Comforter, Counselor, or Advocate. (John 14:16, 26; 15:26, 16:7). To encourage is the Greek word parakaleo (verb) from para – beside, by, from, near kaleo to call.

A few definitions of encouragement mention comfort, instruction; to strengthen by consolation, to teach. In this day and age of instant technology, it’s so easy to send a quick email or e-card to another just as a way of letting them know you’re thinking about them, and to provide them with a few words of cheer, even offer a “verbal hug”, so to speak. How long could it take us to do this, especially considering how lasting the result might be for someone? Do you have someone within your circle that perhaps just needs you to come up without a word and just wrap your arm around their shoulder?

When was the last time you opened your “snail mail” after arriving home, to find an unexpected card with warm wishes from someone? Do you remember how that lifted your spirits? Again, in this day of technology, actual real, hold-it-in-my-hand cards are a growing rare event! I have several cards that have been sent to me over the years which I keep in my Bible, and read over and over again whenever I need a pick-me-up.

This week, prayerfully consider a list of people you could come alongside to comfort, counsel and encourage. Make it your personal mission to contact at least a few by phone, email, Facebook, Twitter, or actual old-fashioned letter or card (okay, seriously, after looking at all our options, just TRY to find a reason NOT to do this)! In fact, I would be so bold as to suggest that if you yourself are in need of encouragement, make it a point to be that encouragement to someone else – put your eyes on them, and give of yourself at a time when it’s not easy or comfortable. Let it be a sacrifice of comfort to God – in spite of your needs/circumstances, you are going outside yourself to be His voice of encouragement to another.

As Dr. Robert A. Cook used to say as He ended his radio program, “Walk with the King today and be a blessing!”

It's Okay to Cling

2011-01-19T10:44:00.000-05:00

Deuteronomy 13:4
"You shall follow the LORD your God and fear Him; and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him.

Did you ever cling too much to someone, hold fast to them a little more than was healthy? I think of the movie “10 Ways to Lose a Guy”, and certainly one of those top ten ways was to be “clingy”! The character would show up at the guy’s apartment unannounced, when he was hanging with the guys, at his job, and would call incessantly. Just watching her antics (who, by the way, was purposely trying to make this guy break up with her) was painful, and made me want to take a deep breath and take a long walk – ALONE!

However, I’ve had times in my life that I’ve held people or things too dear, and like sand in my fist, watched them slip away. Sadly, one of my closest and most loyal companions over the course of my life has been abandonment. There he would stay, plopped down cozily on the couch, watching relationships come and go. He would take every opportunity to remind me of all the many reasons he stayed while others left – most specifically pointing out every fault I had and how I wasn’t good enough to deserve love. I listened intently, and tried to become perfect, but with every rejection, with the accuracy of a surgeon’s scalpel, he would cut away more and more at my sense of worth. If I could just be perfect enough, I would be accepted, loved, and cherished. I fell for the lie over and over again.

By God’s grace and mercy, I’ve taken the path of healing, and over the years have found my identity and worth in Christ. Occasionally, however, I do see myself slip into an old habit of perfectionism. Recently I caught myself, and shaking my head, wondered how I had let that pattern tempt me back again?

In Deuteronomy 13:4, and again in Joshua 23:8, we are commanded to cling to the Lord. It is the same Greek word, and means to stay close, to cleave, to stick with, join to, and remain steadfast. I can’t call upon Him often enough… He never tires of my presence… the more I’m with Him, the happier He is and the more love and devotion He lavishes upon me. I never have to worry that I’m in His face. My Jesus loves me 24/7/365! Most importantly, He has promised never to leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5). In His eyes I am perfect and adored and enough just as I am. He is my Beloved, and my heart is filled to overflowing with love, acceptance, and satisfaction.

Knowing this, I can enjoy my earthly relationships, and I am a healthier/whole person in those relationships. I realize that, no matter how wonderful someone can be, my sole source of identity, satisfaction, and contentment is in Christ alone – all others pale in comparison. No one can ever be my “all in all” – that is a horrible burden to put on anyone, and more importantly, they will always fail, not because they are necessarily lacking, but because they were never meant to fill that role. Only God can fill me to overflowing; only God can and should be God.

What freedom, what joy – I am His, and He is mine.

The Race

2011-01-01T20:06:00.001-05:00

Phil 3:13-14 I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: forgetting the past... I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to Heaven.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 In a race, everyone runs but only one person gets first prize. So run your race to win. To win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best. An athlete goes to all this trouble just to win a blue ribbon or a silver cup, but we do it for a heavenly reward that never disappears.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

I began this year doing something very different – I participated in a fun run, a one-mile run at my local park. The weather was perfect for a January morning – bright and sunny, much of the snow melted from last week’s blizzard, and surprisingly warm. I proudly donned my racing tag “Number 303”, and when the starting blast began off I went! I tried to stay focused on the course, to pace myself, and to stay on track. I didn’t remember the trail being as steep, and admittedly had to slow down to a fast walk several times on the journey. There were some before me, and some behind, all running with the same goal – to reach that finish line! As we neared the end, my friend took my picture, and the bystanders cheered us on. I received a ribbon for my efforts, and the satisfaction that I had achieved my goal.

What was particularly meaningful for me today was the analogy of my physical race to the spiritual race my Father calls me to run. It’s a new year, a fresh beginning, and I renew my commitment to Him to running the race strong, focused and steady. Yes, there will be unexpected turns, hills, dips, and at times discomfort and times of discouragement that perhaps I won’t make it. But if I fix my eyes on Jesus, in His strength I can do anything. My part is obedience, and faithfulness to run towards Christ and not let all the “stuff” in my life get in the way and entangle me/trip me up. Each step of the way I must choose Christ, and not lose heart and grow weary.

One day I hope to run into His arms in Heaven, and I wonder if there will be others there who have gone before cheering me onward, that great cloud of witnesses mentioned in Hebrews. This run taught me the importance also of cheering on my brothers and sisters in Christ, to encourage them and support/lift them up on their race as well. We need to be there for one another – we’re not alone on the path.

So on this first day of 2011 I write to anyone reading this to be encouraged and feel strong and confident – God is for us (Romans 8:31)!!! Let us lift up one another, keep each other on track, running strong and focused towards the goal. Be daily in God’s word and in prayer, pray together, keep each other accountable, really be there for one another this year when we need a friend, in any God-glorifying way we can.

And most importantly, devote yourself to Jesus Christ this year in everything you say and do -- may this year be the best and strongest run of your life -- RUN STRONG! FINISH STRONG!

Extravagant Love

2010-12-14T09:25:00.000-05:00

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. I Corinthians 13:13, MSG

I came across this Scripture quote in one of Gary Chapman’s books this morning, and I loved the Message’s interpretation. Trusting steadily in God isn’t always easy, so that reminded me how important it is for me to have a consistent relationship with Him, and to daily/actively/intentionally set my mind to trust in God, no matter what might occur as part of His plan for me.

Then comes an unswerving hope – the word “unswerving” was particularly fresh to me this morning because I had to swerve out of the way of a car that was drifting into my lane. But here I am prompted to do the exact opposite -- stay the course, hold strong and steady with perseverance and tenacity.

But then, ah then, I am told to love extravagantly. The dictionary definition of extravagant is: going beyond usual bounds; unrestrained. The word is originally from the Latin extra “outside of” and vagary “wander, roam”.

Extravagant – I love the sound of this word. I imagine saying it and tossing my arms wide open slowly – extraaaaavaaaagant! Not restrained, not frugally, but full force head on “bring it!” L-O-V-E!!!!! We are so careful and safe about showing feelings. We play games with one another, wear masks, hold back for fear of being wounded again, or sometimes it’s simply the fact that in this crazy busy day and age we just don’t even have time to think about nurturing a loving relationship with those we love the most. It’s just a day-to-day there-they-are hi-how-are-you kind of take-it-for-granted emotional sleepwalk.

But you know… things happen… and often we find ourselves faced with the regret of not having loved extravagantly, no matter why the reason. Before we know it, in a breath, we’ve lost an opportunity that can never be reclaimed.

I want to wander outside the norm of love – to go beyond the usual boundaries. On a foundation of trusting in God and hoping in Him, I want to run with arms and heart wide open, loving with every ounce of me that I’ve got, unafraid and extravagantly – so that someday my epitaph would include the phrase “Boy, she really knew what it meant to love – I always felt loved by her.”

If Christ loved me enough to open his arms wide on the cross just for me (the epitome of extravagant love), then surely I can follow His example and open my arms wide to others.

When We're in the Dark - "Streams in the Desert" Devotional for Today

2010-12-13T08:15:00.001-05:00

Today's devotional is from the classic devotional book "Streams in the Desert"
____________________________________________________________

Title: When We're in the Dark

"I will give thee the treasures of darkness" (Isa. 45:3).

In the famous lace shops of Brussels, there are certain rooms devoted to the spinning of the finest and most delicate patterns. These rooms are altogether darkened, save for a light from one very small window, which falls directly upon the pattern. There is only one spinner in the room, and he sits where the narrow stream of light falls upon the threads of his weaving. "Thus," we are told by the guide, "do we secure our choicest products. Lace is always more delicately and beautifully woven when the worker himself is in the dark and only his pattern is in the light."

May it not be the same with us in our weaving? Sometimes it is very dark. We cannot understand what we are doing. We do not see the web we are weaving. We are not able to discover any beauty, any possible good in our experience. Yet if we are faithful and fail not and faint not, we shall some day know that the most exquisite work of all our life was done in those days when it was so dark.

If you are in the deep shadows because of some strange, mysterious providence, do not be afraid. Simply go on in faith and love, never doubting. God is watching, and He will bring good and beauty out of all your pain and tears. --J. R. Miller

The shuttles of His purpose move
To carry out His own design;
Seek not too soon to disapprove
His work, nor yet assign
Dark motives, when, with silent tread,
You view some sombre fold;
For lo, within each darker thread
There twines a thread of gold.

Spin cheerfully,
Not tearfully,
He knows the way you plod;
Spin carefully,
Spin prayerfully,
But leave the thread with God.
--Canadian Home Journal

This classic devotional is the unabridged edition of
Streams in the Desert. This first edition was published
in 1925 and the wording is preserved as originally
written. Connotations of words may have changed over the
years and are not meant to be offensive.

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

2010-12-07T08:23:00.004-05:00

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
(Matthew 11:28-30, Message)

Once again I’ve done it – overcommitted my calendar, my time and my energy. I think this is a gift, really, as I do it so well and with such little effort. “Yes, I’ll be there! Sure, no problem, I can do that! Oh, won’t that be fun – would love to!” Boundaries? Margin? Oh, I start off with good intentions, and even put a scant bit of padding around some activities on occasion. But it’s a fleeting thing, and before I know it, quicker than a go’round on the hamster wheel, there I am again, full throttle into exhaustion.

What I love about this version of Matthew 11:28-30 is the simple phrase “unforced rhythms of grace”. Most days are forced for me: I have to force myself to get up in the morning, force myself to plod along (and try to stay awake), force myself to go here/there (often forcing myself not to speed), force myself to get to bed at a reasonable hour, force my brain to stop so I can actually fall asleep (unless, of course, I just drop into a coma because I’ve stayed up far too late). Ah yes, Luke Skywalker, the force is certainly with me – and making me crazy.

“Unforced rhythms of grace” – sigh… just reading and thinking those words immediately puts me into a calmer frame of reference. I envision a stream glittering in the sunlight, a lightly wooded path redolent with wildflowers, kissed with the soundtrack of nature. I actually begin breathing deeper and slower, and I feel the tension ease in every muscle. I think of the unforced rhythm of treetops as they gently dance in the wind.

Like the old hymn that Billy Graham used in his crusades, “Oh Lamb of God, I come… I come”. I want to recover the life You have planned for me, Father, not this insanity of days and nights cluttered and littered with this and that and the other thing. I am so addicted to busy I can’t even get out of my own way. I’m not even sure I remember how to sit down and focus for more than a minute or two. I come to You, to sit at Your feet, walk by Your side, and learn how to rest, to live freely and lightly. I raise my eyes to You to learn Your unforced rhythms of grace. I slip my hand into Yours, Abba – hold me tightly, and lead on. Let me walk with You today.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day 19

2010-11-30T00:09:00.000-05:00

Live as an Overcomer – Dare to Get Your Head Out from under the Circumstances

John 16:33 [Jesus said,] “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Today’s Truth
John 16:33 NLT I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Today’s Dare: Get Your Head Out from under Your Circumstances

Author: When we focus only on self and become consumed by the conflict, we begin to live under it rather than being an overcomer through faith in Christ. I can live under the fear of [the situation], or I can keep my eyes on Jesus.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
There comes a time when I’m sick of looking inside out… sick of focusing internally on myself, my circumstances, my “whoa is me”. Yes, I need to acknowledge my pain, and sit with it, and work through it with the Lord. However… when I choose to stay there past the point of healthy introspection, then I’m choosing to live under it. I am grabbing it like a dirty but comfortable old blanket and pulling it over my head and closing myself off from God and the world. This is not where God wants me to be. I need to toss off that blanket, grab His hand to lift me up out of it, and rise above it as a Christ-empowered overcomer. Jesus has warned me that yep, there’s gonna be whole mess of trouble, but to keep looking at Him, and trust that He’s already got it beat. I agree with the author that this isn’t easy to do, but we still must choose to do it. I want to be a person that, when trouble strikes, people can look at and wonder why I’m not overcome by it all. That opens the door for me to tell them why – Jesus, plain and simple, end of story. My Jesus, HE is why, HE is my overcomer, my hero, my salvation.

God is asking me to …
- Dare to have a positive stance regarding any current negative circumstances
- Find something good I can do just for today that will overcome the negative and give me a positive to think about.
- Remember not to project into tomorrow, next week/month/year, forever!!! Remember Matthew 6:34: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

My challenge is to…
- Take courage, and even though it may be only one tiny baby step from under to over, to choose to take that step.
- Not be surprised when the trouble comes – hey, He’s warned me! But to instead be prepared in faith to look up to Him instead of down at the mountain of manure that’s just been dumped on me!
- Remember that my God is the God of resurrection power and promise and can overcome anything this world throws at me!!!
- My challenge is to live with courage, to take the risks of obedience, even though they may not come with comfy guarantees, but being confident that inside His will is always is the best place to be, no matter what.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day 18

2010-11-23T23:07:00.002-05:00

Get Out of the Funk

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

Today’s Truth
Hebrews 12:2-3 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Today’s Dare: Live with a New Focus

The author talks about being in a “funk” – down, depressed, bad attitude… that our focus is skewed, and instead of living above our circumstances as an overcomer, we begin to live under the mess. We get distracted, get our eyes off Jesus, and grow weary and lose heart – the negatives. She says we should focus, focus, focus on Him, not on ourselves.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
I hear what the author is saying, and I do agree that we need to try and live our lives seeing Him and knowing He is our foundation. However, that being said, I have to say that I don’t altogether agree with her either. I know it isn’t healthy to stay stuck in the mud, but by the same token we’re not just some frozen smiley-faced people who easily rise above the circumstances and situations of our lives. There are dark valleys God asks us to walk through, trials we need to face to grow… and sometimes they stink and are painful and horrible. Frankly, if I’m having a hard time I need someone to just be with me, put their arms around me. If they started being all kinds of cheerful, I might have to slap them! And if someone is having difficulty rising above, don’t lay a guilt trip on them making them think if they just focus, focus, focus it will all be better and just pull up your big girl panties and get on with it. Oh yeah, that’s gonna help.

God is asking me to…
Not be too cynical (sorry). Be real – if I’m hurting, check it out – am I wallowing? Am I trusting as best I can and looking to Him? If so, is this something I need to sit with for awhile and learn a lesson? And maybe if so, I DO need to reach for His hand and ask Him to pull me up.

My challenge is to…
Faithfully, consistently be looking to Jesus, and to keep it real.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day 17

2010-11-18T22:45:00.002-05:00

The Mirror Image – Dare to Live in the Miracle of Who You Are

1 Corinthians 15:10 By the grace of God I am what I am.

Psalm 139: 13-16
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

1 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Today’s Dare: Live in the Miracle of Who You Are

Author: Rather than seeing the miracle God created, we see a distorted and shame-based woman who is not perfect, who is ashamed of her imperfections, and who is chronically trying to see herself differently by changing the external. The merry-go-round of self-loathing is too common and is once again the thief who robs us of life. God looks at us and sees His purpose and the miracle of Himself in us. You can’t possibly be more loved or significant than you are at this very moment.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
I don’t think I will ever see myself in a mirror with 100% accuracy. I look through the eyes of a woman who had an eating disorder so that will always be a body seen as if I were in a fun-house mirror. I look through the when eyes of my youth on the grey hair and laugh lines of now. I look through the what could have been child eyes of a survivor to the what I did to survive now reflection and wince. Sometimes I can’t even look, so I turn away… But God’s truth tells me I am new, and beautiful, and worthy, and wonderful, and a miracle to Him.

God is asking me to…
Remember Ephesians 2:10, where He tells me that I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for me to do.

My challenge is to…
It is so hard to believe the good, so much easier to believe the negative things said about you, to you. God, I want to believe Your truth, but my heart often struggles to wrap around it. I know You know all about me, my history, my past – and still You keep telling me You love me and I am cherished by You. You are still the Lover of my soul, my very Heartbeat, my very Breath. You believe in Me, You have plans for Me, You L-O-V-E me.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Sixteen

2010-11-16T23:08:00.000-05:00

A New Attitude – Dare to Choose Whom You Will Serve and the Direction You Will Take

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always; pray continually.

Today’s Truth: Hebrews 12:1-2 – Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

The author today asks us to work through our pain, see it as something God has allowed for our good/growth. She tells us to “choose joy because God is working, and never look back because you cannot run the race while looking behind you.”

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
There have been times in my life when, in the midst of my deepest pain and heartbreak, I have been able to lift my tear-soaked face to God. And there have been times when I couldn’t even speak. I have to take a different view tonight – I think we have to approach this very carefully. I don’t think God asks us to be in fits of hysterical laughter in the middle of all the pain. I know my God allows me to scream “THIS HURTS AND I HATE IT”. I know that’s not sinful, and sometimes I think we run around gleefully quoting Romans 8:28 to other people who are hurting. It’s often trite and cruel, like putting a bandage on a full-blown heart transplant. Yes, it is sacred and true, but there is a time for it.

Sometimes we have to sit through the pain, sit with it, and just be. Not say anything, just be. Not to say that God isn’t with us in it. We need to acknowledge that there’s a reason He has allowed this, but I don’t think joy means just being some smiling zombie and stuffing what we’re feeling. I think the joy comes in a deep, quiet knowledge that you’re not alone in it, in the faith that while I hate it hate it, God is using it. It is a quietness, that words can’t really describe properly. It is washed in anguish, nights of tears and pain, but He sits with us in it. That is when it is so important to fix our eyes on Jesus.

God is asking me to…
Look at Him instead of the storm around me – like being in the middle of a twister… everything is spinning around you uncontrolled, but you must stand in the middle and just look up, where it is calm and you can see the Son.

My challenge is to…
Remember He’s doing something for me, and to be aware enough to look for His lessons, no matter how awful it seems at that moment. My challenge is to be real in it, and to allow others to see that I am suffering, but not destroyed, and to have them see that my faith in Jesus is the only thing that is keeping me together.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Fourteen

2010-11-15T23:51:00.000-05:00

He Completes Me – Dare to Believe You are Complete in God

2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Today’s Truth
2 Corinthians 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

Author: What if we believed it is Christ who completes us? Could it be that this kind of love is the very thing that makes us balanced, centered, secure, and yes… complete? Realizing we are complete in Christ makes all that He is doing in us worth… the pain – because in the end the maturity and wholeness will be the spiritual gain. We are not made perfect in ourselves but in Christ. He does not judge perfection the way we do. Perfect in a spiritual sense is one who is being completed through maturity, growth, and surrender to God.

Today’s Dare: Believe You are Complete in God

- What if you were secure because Christ is your completion and you were made more than enough in Him?
- What if Christ, making Himself real in you, completed you to the point of being valuable for His work as an ordinary woman made extraordinary by His presence and power?

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
When I was a young, hopelessly romantic young girl, I went along with the whole idea of finding someone who completed me. Now that I’m a more mature hopeless romantic, I have come to realize that I need to be complete in and of myself before I ever enter into a relationship, for both our sakes! And yet when it comes to my relationship with Christ, my independence screeches to a halt. He is the only Man (GodMan) that will utterly complete me.

One of my dearest friends gave me a clay pot in which dwells a small candle. I love this gift, because every time I look at it I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:7. I struggle with a lot of insecurities about my past disobediences in life to the Lord. This verse comforts me, because it reminds me He is the power source, not me. My shattered, scattered life history can only be put together and made to become something special by the loving hands of the Master. He can shine His light through me.

I am an ordinary woman. It’s not a put-down of myself, just a statement of fact. The Lover of my soul holds my heart, and completes it. He turns this clay pot into something very, very special, and I am made whole by His presence and power. My Jesus makes me everything I need to be.

God is asking me to…
Look to Jesus for my completeness, my fullness, my whole self/identity. He is asking me to believe Him, trust Him, in spite of feelings of inadequacy and in spite of myself/my past.

My challenge is to…
Stop listening to the enemy’s lies, and instead believe what God is telling me about myself.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Fourteen

2010-11-14T23:24:00.001-05:00

Not Enough – Dare to Believe You Were Not Created to be Enough in Yourself

2 Corinthians 3:6 He has made us completent [adequate, enough sufficient].

The author speaks of two words defining her life -- "not enough". She writes, "...'not enough' is an epidemic among women. That insecurity destroys the beauty God is bringing forth within us. It can distance us from God. Some women quit trying, quit daring to be all that God has planned for them to be."

Today's Truth: 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God."

Author: “I could quit stressing over that [being enough] and instead look to Him. He would be enough in me, for all things, at all times. His Spirit, which is powerful within me, would change me, transforming me from a woman of self-focus and insecurity to a woman of God-focus and confidence” Max Lucado writes – What makes us special is… the signature of God on our lives.”

Psalm 45:11 The King is enthralled by your beauty.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
As I read this today my heart broke for all my sisters who, like me at one point or another in our lives have felt:
- not smart enough
- not accomplished enough
- not pretty enough
- not sexy enough
- not thin enough
- not holy enough
- not young enough
- just plain not enough… pick a category

My heart and soul and spirit long to be that woman who dares to be all God has planned for me. I want to be a warrior and run up that hill and grab that flag of freedom, and breathe as I stand confident that in Christ I AM ENOUGH. I want to be a woman of God-focus, God-confidence. Suddenly I don’t have to do it in my own power – the burden rolls away, and My Savior holds my face in His gentle hands and whispers YOU ARE ENOUGH.

It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

God is asking me to…
- let go of not enough and find my enough in His strength, in His eyes, in His power.

My challenge is to…
Hold fast to this taste of God-enough, and run with it, cling to it, to use Christ as my mirror. I need to seek that which He has called me to be, through His word and in prayer, and then to pursue it hard with all my might, no longer insecure but finding everything I need in Him. I’m not really sure to begin, so Jesus, please take my hand and lead me to Your enough.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Thirteen

2010-11-13T23:18:00.000-05:00

Bringing Beauty to Life – Dare to Surrender to the Process of Change

Psalm 34:5 Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Isaiah 61:1-3
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners… to comfort all who mourn… to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.

Author: God…takes broken hearts and heals them, messy lives and mends them, tears and dries them. He dresses me in something new and beautiful… from within, but its beauty is seen without. It’s always been His plan to renew me, revive me, restore me, and give me courage to… live in Him and the beauty of His holiness. It is time to believe that the shame that has covered us or the insecurity that has surrounded us can be changed by looking to Christ. It is with this upward gaze that we are changed and no longer ashamed.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

It’s one thing to want change – and a whole ‘nuther thing to do something towards the goal of change. Surrender to the process of change – surrender isn’t one of my strongest attributes, but it’s a process, and something critical to get to change. Surrendering to Him isn’t so much a giving up as a letting go. Its opening my grubby little hands and letting Him take out what I’ve been holding onto for so long and hard. Then He will replace it with His beauty.

I’m always amazed at what a Gentleman God is – He waits until I’m willing to open my hand to Him, instead of zapping me with a lightning bolt or just removing my hand altogether. His love is patient, and His warmth coaxes me instead of using a crow bar force. All my life, whenever I’ve held tightly to something, not willing to give it up, it’s never really satisfied. Oh, there’s been a time of pleasure, but it’s never lasted, and like the verse says, it’s turned to ashes. You’d think I would have learned that lesson by now. Change – it’s a process…

God is asking me to…
Open my heart to the changes He wants to make in me
Not be afraid, but to trust and obey
Just be the clay and let the Potter work

My challenge is to…
Focus on Jesus and let Him be my Everything

Lord, in the last few weeks, as I’ve tried to walk closer with You and focus on You, I’ve seen a whole lotta distractions crop up in my life. Maybe distractions isn’t the best word, more like temptations that would be enough of a change that they would take me off course to Your plan for me. As much as I know this, I admit with shame that I’ve glanced and pondered the what ifs of the possibilities. Like I said, you’d think I would have learned that lesson by now. Oh God, in the deepest part of myself all I want is to live inside Your will, but sometimes the pull of these diversions is like a magnet, and my will just gets pulled, and it’s such a battle to stay on course. May my surrender only be to YOU, that I wouldn't do anything that would hurt You or cause me to be ashamed before You.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Twelve

2010-11-12T23:56:00.001-05:00

Woman of Worth – Dare to Believe You are God’s Treasure and of Great Value to God

Deuteronomy 7:6 (Message) God, your God, chose you out of all the people on Earth for Himself as a cherished, personal treasure.

Today’s Truth: Isaiah 46:4 – Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you.

Today’s Dare: Believe You are God’s Treasure and of Great Value to God

Author:
W wonderful worth
O ordained for God’s purposes
M managing life by faith
A attitude of thanks and praise
N nearer to God each day

The enemy wants you to think you are worthless. It’s a lie. The truth stands: you are precious, loved and valued.

Today’s Truth is speaking to me…

Ohhhhhhhkay… scalpel time again, isn’t it? Let’s cut through another layer to get to the truth. And I wanted to do this blog so that my transparency might help someone else? Hmmm… maybe this wasn’t such a great idea; maybe walking around in my underwear at the mall might be easier…

When I was younger, I traded on my looks. I was a model at one point, and most of my under 40 years were spent identifying myself and finding my worth in my appearance. Desperate to be perfect, it led me into some pretty dark and scary places, including a ten year affair with an eating disorder. I’d be lying if I said it’s hard to sometimes look in the mirror now, with the “laugh lines” and the blonde-but-roots-are-all-grey hair. Nowadays I can be fairly invisible in a crowd.

Oh, I’m not saying I hate the way I look, but just recently I had someone ask me for the first time if I was a grandmother, and my vanity was squarely kicked in the booty as I ran off to the phone book to look up the nearest plastic surgeon… Botox, neck lifts, what is that under???? I looked at my bottle of Downy Wrinkle Release and thought, “Gee, will this work on my face?” We are, after all, close to Thanksgiving, and I’m giving the turkey a run for his money with this neckline I’ve been developing. This whole beautiful on the inside is highly over-rated in this youthful world of ours. And yet, when I look at so many once beautiful 40+ women who have turned to plastic surgery and now just look like they shouldn’t stand too close to the fireplace or their faces will melt, well, it gives pause to any temptation to “get freshened up”!

Most every woman I meet wants to look attractive, to be her personal best and desirable, regardless if she’s nineteen or ninety. We want to be loved and treasured at any age. That’s why today’s chapter was so important, even though it tackles a really sensitive issue for me – looks/personal value.

When I raise my face up towards Heaven, my Savior calls me beautiful. I am cherished, loved and treasured by my Lord – to Him, I am everything. He adores me and sings over me and can’t get enough of me. Sigh… and how often can any woman say that at any age?

It has taken me many years to begin to see my worth through His eyes. Obviously, if you’ve read any of the other journey entries, it’s easy to see I’m still struggling with the whole worthiness identity. However, some days are better than others, and when I put my focus and trust on Christ, my Mirror, I see the most beautiful me there has ever been, because I’m reflecting Him.

God is asking me to…
Forget the identity my mirror and the world tell me I am, and realize my worth and beauty and value are all in Him, and He is just crazy about me.

My challenge is to…
Believe that consistently, especially on the days everything else screams the opposite.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Eleven

2010-11-11T21:55:00.000-05:00

A Different Life – Dare to Live No Longer for Self

Galatians 2:20 – I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Author: "When we try to protect ourselves, we often put up walls that keep even God’s voice out. What if we laid ourselves aside? What if we believed, really believed, that God’s love is powerful enough to protect us, keep us, and guide us into everything we will never need in our lifetime? What if, because of this love, we began to live differently than anything we ever imagined? Faith is like breaking out of our own little world of experience and living in abandoned devotion to Him."

Today’s Dare: Live No Longer for Self

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
I am a stubborn, self-reliant, fiercely independent woman with a rebel heart. Through much of my life my motto has been “Ain’t nobody gonna be the boss of me.” I have been kicked around enough to learn that the only person I can trust and depend on is me – and the older I grow, the more boundaries I build to protect what is left of my shattered, tattered and scarred self. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy people – I’m not some hermit who lives in a dark little room peeking out from behind the blinds – no, most people don’t see the invisible room from which I peer that is built with mistrust, suspicion, and disappointment. I am a survivor, that is what I allow you to see, and my life is my own.

But that’s a lie. My life isn’t my own. My life belongs to Christ. I’m supposed to lay it down at His feet each day, lift up my will as a sacrifice of praise to Him. That’s a hard one – to unclench these fists and let it all go, like sand, so that my hands will be open to His will, His blessings. It sounds good, but it’s soooo much harder to do. As the author writes, “What if I believed God’s love was enough? Enough for me to live differently than ever before, ever imagined???" How would that look? How would that sound? How would that feel?

God is asking me to…
- Believe His love, His promises
- Remember that God wants the best life for me
- Remember that the enemy doesn’t love me, but masquerades as a lover (ain’t THAT the truth!)

My challenge is to…
- Live bigger than the smallness of myself
- Trust Him for strength in the areas that tempt me to live in ways that aren’t God’s best for me

Father, my heart does want to live in abandoned devotion to you. I want a rebel wild faith that is tamed only by You, corralled by Your Holy Spirit, laughing with You, running with You, being still before You and knowing You are God. Take the rest away; I give it freely, because it’s all nothing but dung without you. My dreams and hopes and ambitions will only be fully realized when they are in Your hands, along with my heart. I will only be completely me when I am lost in You.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Ten

2010-11-11T00:29:00.000-05:00

Mind Management – Dare to Guard Your Thoughts and Fill Your Mind with Good

Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ.

Today’s Truth: Philippians 4:8 Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, - think on these things.

Today’s Dare: Guard Your Thoughts and Fill Your Mind with Good

From The 4:8 Principle, Tommy Newberry says, “The battle you wage against in your human nature is an invisible one that will be won or lost in the mind. Minute by minute, hour by hour, in the hidden workshop of your mind you are constructing thoughts of good or evil, depression or joy, success or failure. You are writing your own life story as a human being with each subtle and soundless thought you think.”

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
In a recent Bible study one of the women said that in order to control her thoughts, she immediately had to replace one rejected negative thought with a positive one. It’s like pulling a weed in your garden and immediately replacing it with a favorite flower.

We are bombarded by an internal critic that loves to tell us negative things all day long. It is up to use to CHOOSE to guard your thoughts and fill your mind with the Lord. Oh, it’s true, it takes practice and a LOT of prayer and falling on God’s assistance, but be of good faith – it can be done!

In Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book “Who Switched Off My Brain?”, she tells us that every thought can become toxic, and physically/ emotionally/ spiritually dangerous. She calls it “toxic thinking”, and it can actually change our brain – amazing. But think about it (no pun intended), how often do you feel happy/sad/stressed, all because of a thought, or a past memory, or when thinking about something that is going to occur? Not only that, but every action we take begins with a thought. So we must be very intentional and focused on what we think each moment. And what better way than to focus on Christ? Hebrews 12:2 – “…fixing our eyes on Jesus…” Here the word for fixing is aphorao, and it means to turn the eyes away from other things and fix them on something. Our choice, our job, our responsibility is to actively turn our eyes/thoughts away from other things and onto Christ, and on what He has called us to think about (Philippians 4:8).

I think of what God says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, where we are called to take “every thought captive to the obedience of Christ…” The word captive is aichmalotizo, which means to lead away captive, or capture one’s mind, captivate”. We must lead our thoughts away from the paths of unrighteousness, to our captivating Savior.

God is asking me to…
Turn my brain over to Him, and allow Him to help me keep my thoughts on Him.

Lord and Savior, true and kind, be the Master of my mind;
Bless and guide and strengthen still
All my powers of thought and will.
While I ply the scholar’s task,
Jesus Christ be near, I ask;
Help the memory, clear the brain,
Knowledge still to seek and gain.
Bishop H.G. C. Moule – Church of England Bishop

My challenge is to…

Each day I am given multiple opportunities to think unhealthy, unedifying, unholy, just plain old “un” thoughts. I can let my mind drift into areas where it should not go: fantasy, acts of revenge, thoughts of what I coulda/shoulda said to someone else, thoughts of what could have been, thoughts wrapped up in me-me-me. My challenge is to corral those renegade thoughts by the power of the Holy Spirit, and to present them to God and ask Him to change them to thoughts of His will, for His glory. Just my everyday thoughts can turn towards Him as I speak to him continually throughout the day. I need to set my mind on Him.

Think about it!!!

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Nine

2010-11-09T22:55:00.002-05:00

Asking and Not Receiving – Dare to Remember that God Gives good Gifts to His Children

Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Today’s Truth: Matthew 7:7-11 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

In today’s chapter the author speaks about long-unanswered prayers concerning one of her children. She writes, “God has something good for my child and will answer my prayers on His behalf. The answer will come in God’s time because everything is about a bigger picture. But surely in God’s time the answer will come in the form of a good gift. Whether it is the answer I wanted or expected is not important; the important thing is that God will give the right gift and answer to prayer at the right time. I am still waiting…seeking…knocking… praising… even though I don’t see the answer today, I know it’s coming.

My heart aches so desperately writing this tonight that I can barely breathe. I have been praying for my daughter for years, and I am still praying. My head and heart know and believe God’s promises… but sometimes, when I read something like this, it hits so close to home, like a pain-seeking missile zeroing in on its target. I confess there are times I want to give up, to drop in a tired heap and whisper “Why bother?”

From another viewpoint, I find it hard to see myself as the child/receiver of God’s gifts/answered prayer. Often my prayers are meager because I don’t believe myself worthy to either pray for something, or worthy of receiving. Why me? After all the trouble I’ve been/am, why me? I guess some of this comes from the whole not growing up with a father thing. I have no frame of reference.

Then again, in retrospect, there have been times when I have had answered prayers – and to tell you the truth, sometimes I must caution, be careful what you prayer for, because sometimes God will give you over to your heart’s desire. And that can be a VERY BAD thing indeed. This, of course, is not to say that I have not witnessed amazing, awesome, miraculous answered prayers in my life. I have, and it brings tears and praise and goosebumps.

I was sitting with a friend tonight talking about God answering our prayers, and sometimes when He does begin to answer our prayers, we almost don’t believe it. We do say why me? Sigh… Oh, Lord, You are SO patient with us… we ask/seek/knock, You answer, and then we struggle to believe it!!! You must shake Your head, sigh, and just smile…

Today’s Dare: Remember that God Gives Good Gifts to His Children

God is asking me to…
Believe He has heard my prayer and is working in His timing.
Turn my thinking around and learn to trust in God’s time.

Forgive my impatience, unbelief, and lack of faithfulness, Father. My heart is weary, and my faith is weak.

My challenge is to…
Rest and rejoice in His timing
Believe He will do what He says He will do
Be still and know that He is God

I will continue to ask, seek, and knock. I will believe You are working in my life and the life of my daughter to bring about Your glory, and I will believe what You say.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Eight

2010-11-08T23:29:00.000-05:00

The Power Connection – Dare to Plug into the Power Source

2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Today’s Truth
John 15:4-5, 7-8, 11
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing… If you remain in me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to My Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourself to be my disciples… I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

Today’s Dare: Plug into the Power Source

Author: Dare to step out of your comfort zone today. Dare to try something you would not ordinarily feel you could do. Experience the power of God enabling you to live above yourself.

Well, yesterday was my whole “power source, plug” reference… and today I overslept and didn’t read this chapter until after work tonight. To tell you the truth, I don’t feel much plugged in tonight. I’ve been on the go ever since my feet hit the ground this morning, and I feel not empowered but just really, really tired...

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
But… I did just have a thought. When I go to sleep at night I plug in my cell phone and it charges all night, ready to rock ‘n roll in the morning. Fruit on the vine doesn’t just show up one morning, it begins often with a tiny blossom, then blooms, the petals fall away, and the fruit grows little by little. It stays “plugged in” to the branch.

Tonight I can think of myself as resting in God, remaining in Him, and being plugged in overnight as I recharge. To plug in before I go to sleep, I can end my crazy hectic day with a few quiet moments talking with Him, spend my last waking moments focused on God and His Word, and committing my sleep and dreams to His glory and care.

God is asking me to… Remain. Abide. Stay. Rest. Recharge.

My challenge is to…
Stay away when I pray – hey, maybe that’s not a typical holy devo moment, but it’s the truth. Spend my last waking moments thinking about God instead of my task list, memories, or a million and one other things that seem to swirl around in my head when I try to sleep. I like the idea of recharging myself in Him as I sleep – it gives me a safe, warm and comforting sense of the Lord’s presence.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Seven

2010-11-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

The Power of God – Dare to Believe in God’s Power in All Circumstances

Romans 1:20 – For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

Today’s Truth

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Today’s Dare – Dare to Believe in God’s Power in All Circumstances

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
Author: “Dare to walk in the truth of being appointed by God in your everyday, average ordinary life. We do this by listening for His gentle nudges throughout the day.”

I don’t have a problem believing in God’s power – He is majestic, and I see His power in the sunrise, in the storm, in miracles, in His Word. But… it’s hard for me to see His power in me. Oh, I know that it’s His power in me when I am able to say no to a temptation, or able to obey Him. But when I think of me being appointed by God to do those good works... whew, me? Um, God, me… Linda… remember? The one who always tumbles down that slippery slope and falls on her face in the sin mud? The one who can’t seem to get out of her own way sometimes? And You can use me?

What an easy arrow for the enemy to use – shoot me down with reminders of who I think I am, when what I need to do is remember Who’s I am, and then maybe I’ll stop focusing on myself long enough to see the Power Source, and believe He can do what He says He can do.

God is asking me to…
Focus on Him, and believe Him, and not the lies that paralyze me.

My challenge is to…
Plug in to the Power Source – It’s like I’m standing here with an electric cord, right next to the wall socket, and complaining that I have no power. Du-uh! Plug in – read His promises over and over, remember my Father is Who He says He is, and will do what He says He can do. Whisper yes in my prayers to the belief that in Christ I can do ANYthing, and that God can and will use me, and has had plans to use me from the beginning of time! I choose this truth today.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Six

2010-11-06T23:55:00.000-04:00

Transformed Lives – Dare to Renew Your Mind in God’s Word

Romans 10:17 Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

Today’s Truth

Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young [woman] keep [her] way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all my heart; do net let me stray from your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.

Joshua 24:15 “… choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.”

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Today’s Dare – Renew Your Mind in God’s Word

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
Am I different where it counts – my mind? Yes, I can scrub up the outside fairly well, but what about my brain, is that transformed? What do I choose each day? And what do those choices say about me? My true values?

The author asks another disturbing question – “Do I think biblically about myself?” She writes, “The true route to freedom and healing of a damaged self-esteem is … letting God build you up in the truth about who you are in Christ and the truth about His involvement in your life.”

So here I have to define my values, and how I value myself. I have just been going over values in my studies as a life coach – values like love, integrity, truth. How am I choosing to live them out in my mundane, everyday life? And how do those values translate into valuing even myself? Hard questions to define/answer/live.

God is asking me to…
Not be a cookie-cutter anything in this world, but to come out and be fresh and new, radically His. God is asking everything of me, so I may be transformed into the image of Christ. But in losing myself in Him, I again find my truest self.

My challenge is to…
Sit down quietly and think hard about my values – are they worth living for, dying for? Are they in fact mine or just what I think they should be? And once defined, in what daily ways can I play them out? I don't want to be like everyone else, I want to be fully me. I generally feel that I don't fit in anywhere, so maybe I can use that viewpoint to see how I can be transformed instead.

Many questions spinning in my head tonight…

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Five

2010-11-05T23:54:00.001-04:00

Not Conformed to This World – Dare to Believe You Are No Longer of This World

John 18:36 Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world.’

Today’s Truth

Romans 12:1 – Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Today’s Dare: Believe you are no longer of this world.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

I’ve had a lifelong battle giving up my self, especially my physical self, fully and wholly to the Lord. This chapter resonates with that struggle… it’s all about giving up my needs/rights and giving myself over to God and trusting Him to take care of me, to know what’s best for me.

Often in the Christian world these verses are associated frequently with our sexual selves (oops, did she use the “S” word?!??). Yep, sure did! But I loved that the author also highlights that this means the physical care of ourselves as well – the eating, the drinking, the sleeping, the exercise. Hey, let’s remember that the next time we have a pot luck dinner or ice cream social, hmmm??? How about we let THAT sin out of the closet, shall we? Absolutely, yes, we need to give God our sexual selves, but we also need to give over the temptation/desires/passions that poor eating can bring, or workaholism can bring, etc. Listen to the way the Message offers up Romans 12:1: “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering.”

God is asking me to…
Look at my bed, look at my checkbook, look at my calendar, look at my meals, my time, my dreams, my attitude, my words/thoughts/deeds, my everything… and lift it up to Him as a spiritual sacrifice, giving up the control of it all. Like the author says, “no more my way with a little Jesus on top.”

My challenge is to…
Let go, walk away from my so-called “rights”… and let God into every single little nook and cranny of any/every thing, and have full 100% control. My challenge is to let Jesus BE the Lord of my life, not just say it, but really truly LIVE it – flat out, radical, and unconditional surrender. Yeah, it sounds real good… but can I do it?

Lord, I’ve tried and failed so many times, but more than ever my heart cries out to You. Would you help me live wholly for You? I surrender all… I surrender all… all to Thee, my precious Savior… I surrender all.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Four

2010-11-04T22:46:00.002-04:00

Dedicated to Living as His – Dare to Live Like You Belong to God

Acts 17:28 “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” As some of your own poets have said, “We are His offspring.”

Today’s Truth – 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

Colossians 1:27 “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

Today’s Dare – Live like you belong to God

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
Do I live on purpose? Do I live in the truth of who I am in Christ? I can’t say I get up each morning thinking, “Okay I belong to the Lord, now how will I plan my day around that and make it the foundation of everything else?” Yet this single truth defines everything about me, has changed my life, and makes all the difference in the world in who I am and how I live. I’ve misplaced that truth under the piles of daily living, and I need to dig it out, polish it up, and put it center stage. Maybe I should place one of those “Hi, my name is” name tags on my bathroom mirror and every morning have it greet me with “Hi, my name is Linda, and I belong to God!” There’s some brain floss to get your day going!

God is asking me to…
Live intentionally, mindfully, and fully in/for Him. That truth must color every moment, and be the most influential factor in any/every decision. But how do I put feet to that?

My challenge is to…
Live on purpose for Him. But what does that mean in reality? Well for one thing, taking that with 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 means I need to make some changes in how I treat my body. I am blessed to be involved in some wonderful coaching with Janet Daughtry and tonight we were chatting about values, and she asked me about my own values. Something important to me is living authentically/intentionally with integrity. She asked me what integrity looked like to me, and in our discussion I discovered that I needed to listen to my own voice and live with more integrity for myself – by taking care of myself as I encourage other women to do for themselves. I’ve been so wrapped up in so many different things that I have been slamming into the wall constantly. You know when you’re so tired that you feel like you’ve hit the wall? Well, that’s the point to which I’ve been pushing, pushing myself day after day after day. I need to take time for me, to recoup, restore and renew, and I’ve not been allowing myself to do that – thereby draining all my energy and running myself into the ground. I must take care of this body better because it does belong to Him, I belong to Him, and that’s really important! As a personal trainer, I should know better!!!

So, to that end, I will get to bed on time and not survive on five hours of sleep a night, and I will plan my meals better, and spend time with Him in quiet time together. Specifically, I commit to make time to walk with Him in the park this weekend. I will make a “date” to go to the park with my Father and enjoy His company, as I restore the body/soul. I will honor God with my body in this way.

My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day Three

2010-11-03T23:24:00.001-04:00

Living Loved – Dare to Live Differently by Living Like You Are Loved

Jeremiah 31:3-4 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.”

Today’s Truth – How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

Today’s Dare – Make a list of the “other” things you have been called – give them to God one by one, then take a black marker and blot those labels off your list!

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

Oh no you didn’t… you did not hit me on Day Three with a gut-wrenching, heart bomb like this!

The author admits she had “… a chronic belief that I would never be enough…the not-enough girl.” We are told we need to “pour God’s love into our learning center – our mind – so it can make its way into our hearts. It is not natural to live feeling loved by God… we learn to live loved by taking His Word of truth by faith.” We are told that God has lavished His love on us. I have always been drawn to that word – LAVISH… it sounds so rich and smooth and bountiful.

God is asking me to…
Face things I don’t want to face! The author writes: “When we live as one who is loved… life is no longer a set of unfortunate circumstances but instead a journey with the Father.” Okay, that's all well and good, but what if you don’t know what it’s like to have a father? How do I wrap my brain and faith around that one? Where is my frame of reference? All day this whole “live like you are loved” has poked and prodded at my soul, pouring salt and vinegar into the wounds of ancient places I’ve worked years to push down.

My challenge is to…
Write those other things I’ve been called (or called myself)? I can’t even look at them. I know what it means to live as the “not enough girl”. I wince with the memories of what the old country song says…”lookin’ for love in ALL the WRONG places…” Again, I’m faced with the dare of digging up things I don’t want to remember, to see, and most importantly feel.

So here I am with black ink on a page, formed into a word I have said, have read, and often wondered if I ever really knew what it felt like or meant, and surely not from a father. God, I can tell You I’ve read the Love Letters, verse after verse, where You tell me You love me, and I intellectually believe it, really, I do. I know I shouldn’t depend on feelings, but oh, how I wish I could literally feel Your arms around me in a big old daddy bear hug, so I could begin to understand what Your love tangibly feels like… forgive me, I know Christ gave everything to love me, and I don’t mean to ask for more. I just want to know what it feels like to climb into Your lap and cuddle up.

I acknowledge, Father, that I need repair. I admit only You can fix me. I will utter Your name as Abba, Father, and invite Your Holy Spirit to pour Your love into my brain, to teach me what it means to be loved, to be lovable, to be the “enough girl”, for You. As You wrote in Jeremiah, I will believe Your promise that You will rebuild me. Lavish away, Abba, lavish away… I choose to believe You.

And as I write this, the web station I’m listening to just began playing “Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us” – one of my favorite hymns as a little girl in Sunday School… and it brings back memories of feeling happy and safe and loved and belonging… and I begin to weep with this immediate gift of affirmation and love from my Abba…

My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day Two

2010-11-02T23:33:00.002-04:00

Follow the Leader – Dare to Pay Attention to God’s Lead

John 8:12 – Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

Today’s Truth: Coming to God fresh each morning, and following Him is “a daily call of surrender”.

Today’s Dare: Pay Attention to God’s Lead

Today was a wicked crazy day from the moment I opened my eyes. When I read this chapter the first thing that hit me was the sentence: “But no matter what is in front of us, there is a deeper purpose to the day: to follow after Christ and pay attention to how He wants us to live in the mundane moments of real life.” It brought to mind Mother Teresa’s quote: “Do small things with great love.”

How could I go about paying attention to God’s lead running full throttle on today's hamster wheel? One little thing – I tried to keep my sense of humor and not let the day steal my joy. I tried to be more appreciative to those around me, and to do the best job I could all day, ignoring the mundane nature of many of my tasks. I made the time to call a friend. As I’m writing this I realize none of these things will win me the Nobel Prize for loving, but its baby steps toward paying attention to God’s leads – those little moments that nudge our hearts, but if we ignore them, they’ll pass us by in an instant, never to return. I mean, I didn't mutter "What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?" wearing a plastered happy face while I scurried down the hallway, I just made an effort to pay attention to Him instead of my circumstances.

God is asking me to… Another passage of the book read: “It’s easy to do the things that come naturally to us. But it’s not so easy to lay down our will and follow God into the areas that are difficult or unnatural to our reasoning, feelings or habitual ways of living.” Here I felt God was calling me to two separate invitations involving what I believe He has gifted me to do, but it felt difficult because it involved my time/calendar, which is already overloaded. So what is He calling me to give up in order to make time for these new responsibilities? That I’m not sure about yet… I’m a bit apprehensive… which I guess doesn’t sound too holy, does it? But it’s true; I’m wondering what He has around the corner for me that I can’t yet see.

I have to think of it like dancing, where I must trust my partner to show me the signals to follow his steps, to allow him to lead me when I can’t see the whole floor, and to believe he will watch out for me. It is a small act of submission with each step, but if I try to take the lead, the dance is clumsy.

My prayer – Lord of the dance, Lord of the hamster wheel, Lord of my life –today's efforts seem like such meager crumbs of obedience to You, nothing major or meaningful. No bells or whistles for the Kingdom. Just a few clumsy and mundane moments... but they were Yours to have. I hope I made You smile.

My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day 1

2010-11-02T12:54:00.000-04:00

Based on the book "The Faith Dare" by Debbie Alsdorf

I decided to do the faith dare because I needed a kick start in my faith. The question on the back cover of the book reads “What would happen if you lived out your faith every day, in every situation?” I want a wild faith, a faith that Debbie Alsdorf, the author, says is “walked out with intention, conviction, and humble surrender.” I want to be authentic, warts, blunders, and all. I’m tired of a manicured, perfect hair and makeup soft-spoken white-washed Christianity. I want an earthy, real faith that impacts every hour and shakes me to the core so that my Jesus becomes as real as every breath I take. It's all come to this -- the ultimate goal -- that I will hear "Well done, good and faithful servant" when He calls me home.

Why here in so public a forum? To be transparent and vulnerable, and to be accountable, so I will stick to this and follow-through all 30 days. So here I go…

What is faith to me? Giving Jesus Christ control of my life and believing His Word even when I can’t understand it or see/feel Him. Putting everything I am, everything I have, and all my meaning for living in His hands and looking to Him for my validation, my direction, and my meaning.

There is a question in this chapter that reads: (pg 28) “How can a woman learn to live in God’s love when her natural bent is to protect herself from further rejection?” That struck a chord with me. I need God to heal my expectations and fill my spirit – I can only look to Him for that, not to anyone else on earth, as much as I love my family and friends.

DAY ONE – The Miracle of a New Heart – Dare to Ask God for a New Heart.

Proverbs 27:19 “As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.”

Psalm 86 talks of asking God for an undivided heart, and Ezekiel 36:26-28 speak of God’s promise to give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me, of removing my heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh (Message – a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed”).

Today my verse will be Psalm 86:11 – “Give me an undivided heart…”

Today’s truth – I am so fragmented. My heart/life is like a BodyWorks display I saw at the Franklin Institute this summer, where one body was ‘exploded’ into hundreds of pieces, each hanging precariously in space. My heart does belong to Christ, but it’s just all over the place. I have so many commitments, so many interests and passions, that I wind up doing many things “half-heartedly”, including my walk with God. I see myself as a “heart hoarder” – cluttered and piled up and unable to move for all the excess.

God is asking me to – become focused – allow Him to clean up my messy heart and give Him 100%. He wants to reorder and restore and renew this old, tired, shattered thing called my heart. He wants to remove the adhesions, scars, cobwebs and junk, and make it shiny and new, centered around Him.

My challenge is to – obey and release control. What does He want me to love best, to give my focus and attention to each day? First and foremost, I must give Him the time, attention, focus and priority – and then take my marching orders from there.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Living Bible) Trust in the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct your and crown your efforts with success.

James 1:5 (Living Bible) If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to give bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him.

A Visit to Town

2010-08-10T10:07:00.002-04:00

Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever”

This past weekend a friend and I visited a quaint little town in which I used to live about 20 years ago. There is a big red mill complete with water wheel, a beautiful old bridge (reminiscent of the bridge in the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”), and a breathtaking waterfall. Main Street always had interesting shops to explore, and there were restaurants, a museum, park benches… just a real old-fashioned town.

I was so looking forward to a juicy, lingering visit at the old little bookstore on Main Street. The years my (then) elementary school aged daughter and I lived there we spent countless hours pouring over the wide array of books there, from children's to mysteries to historical to spiritual and self-help, tons of magazines -- everything under the sun. It was wonderful - so much variety in such a small store. It was just a little brick-front "shoppe", but it was filled with magic and wonder. As I neared this bit of sanctuary with growing anticipation, I realized (like a cold slap in the face) that it has been replaced by a modern, stainless-steel decorated electronics store - UGH!

To add insult to injury, I went up to our other old "haunt", the delicious and decadent town bakery, an original old-fashioned bakery with a counter a mile long just jam-packed with everything you could ever want! Crullers, bear claws, warm rolls, every chocolate-drenched cream-filled irresistible delight imaginable. Early mornings the heady scent of baking bread would dance through the town, over the river and into our open windows. I was fully prepared to toss all personal trainer discipline aside and have something sinfully WONderful. My heart leapt with joy as I saw the old sign still hanging... and then I entered. UGH2!

The entire front end of the bakery was now a Starbucks wanna-be lounge area with chairs and couches – albeit quite lovely, I must admit. There was a small counter about 1/4th of the original, and some upscale loaves of bread behind the counter, and a selection of coffee or tea in big black plastic containers. The now barely-there glass counter housed some muffins, a few delicacies, but nothing that called out my name and beckoned me onward. Okay, if it was the first time I was there I would say it was quaint and lovely. But again, another blow to the heart and memories of being there with my daughter, our noses both pressed up against the glass, laughing and trying to figure out what we would purchase to take home and linger over with our respective coffee and cocoa on a crisp fall Saturday morning.

Sigh… the world seems to spin colder and harder each day, and so many of the beloved, comforting places spin right off the planet as the pace gets madder and more furious. It can be overwhelming and quite depressing. I am so thankful that God never changes, and that when I seek Him out, He is always there, never “updated” or “revamped” or moved due to dwindling sales or the advent of some modern fad or technology. My weary and disappointed heart can always, always find its resting place in Him.

Hope

2010-07-19T12:45:00.003-04:00

You are my hope, O Lord God; You are my trust from my youth. Psalm 71:5

In the devotional "Today's Daily Bread" was this Bible verse and the following poem:

Our strength and hope is in the Lord -
We rest secure in His sure Word;
And though we're tempted to despair
We know we're kept within His care

These are days when my heart is heavy and has dropped itself just under a giant, cold boulder in the pit of my stomach. A certain situation in my life has left me with no control, no answers, and the temptation to fall apart and let discouragement, despair and depression take control.

But today I will choose God. I will choose to trust in Him and believe He has control of it all. I will not try to manipulate anything or figure it all out, but instead will leave it in His loving and wise hands. I will choose to wait in silent obedience. I will choose to hope in Him. It is only in the darkest night sky that we can most clearly see the brillance of a shooting star.

I will find my comfort, my peace, my all and all in Christ and in His Word. I will wrap my favorite Psalm 23 around me like a comforting warm blanket and rest in Him... not because I am godly or wise or holy, but because I am utterly NOT... because I am weak and helpless, and therein lies my only wisdom - to know that in Him only is everything I need, all my answers, all my peace.

I will lift up the broken pieces of my heart as a sacrifice of praise to my Almighty God.

Psalm 23
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

To Let Go

2010-07-14T08:01:00.000-04:00

To Let Go Takes Love
by Dr. Margaret J. Rinck

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and to love more

Stink Bug Theology

2010-03-12T07:03:00.001-05:00

Matthew 6:34: "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (The Message)

In this neck of the woods we have a common visitor known as the stink bug. These are nasty little creatures about the size of your fingernail, brownish, and the shape of a shield. These particularly ugly critters are loud when they buzz around – we’re talking helicopter dive-bombing you loud! And if you should catch one and smoosh it, they emit an enormously foul stench – hence, the name “stink” bug. While I’m no theologian or scholar, I am sure these creepy crawlers showed up on the scene three seconds after Eve bit that apple – a direct creation/result of the Fall (right up there with war, pestilence, wrinkles and cellulite)!

So the other day I was getting ready for work, puttering around in my semi-comatose early morning state, not yet having had my three cups of tea to get me going. I grabbed my blow dryer, went to plug it in and… what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a creepy crawly disgusting stink bug parked directly over the outlet. He was totally blocking the path of my dryer plug. This bad boy was huge - the size of Milwaukee! And let me tell you, nothing wakes you up as quickly as stumbling upon the stealth attack of a stink bug on your outlet first thing in the morning! I ran screaming for the nearest tissue, plucked said evil visitor from my outlet, and sent him onto glory with a dramatic FLUSH! (My apologies to all animal rights friends out there). Needless to say, I still get the “willies” when I think of the incident.

I did a bit of research and found that stink bugs don’t generally bite, but they can cause damage to leaves, flowers, fruit and crops. They are attracted to light/warmth, will work their way into a home (under siding, into soffits, under roof shingles, etc.), and you can wind up with an infestation problem.

How does this relate to anything? Well, I got to thinking… stink bugs are a lot like those commonplace little problems and worries we have so often in life. They silently work their way into our thoughts throughout the day and night, destroying our peace. Have you ever had worries come flooding into your mind when you’re trying to pray? Ever have angst keep you up at night? Just like that stink bug on my outlet, worries can block us from connecting to our Power Source. We get so focused on them (and unfocused on God) that pretty soon those anxieties have eaten away at us, and we’re left with a ruined, fruitless day. Like an infestation, worry piles upon worry, anxiety upon anxiety and as Joyce Meyer calls it, we’re left with “stinkin’ thinking”! Now while I don’t recommend that you run screaming for your nearest tissue, I would suggest running to your Bible, and finding comfort and peace in the verses of His Word. Take all those foul troubles in prayer to the Lord – leave them all with Him.

Yeah, the junk of daily life often stinks.. but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Just hold your nose with one hand, grab those troubles with the other, and leave them with God – let Him be your “Spiritual Exterminator”!

Stability

2010-03-09T19:40:00.001-05:00

Isaiah 33:6 “He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.”

Today I was watching a segment of Life Today featuring a teaching by Beth Moore discussing a renewed mind. I highly recommend it!

She mentioned the verse in Isaiah above, and said one translation worded the beginning of the verse as “He’s [the Lord] my constant source of stability.” I looked up the word stability online and in my Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible and Word Study Dictionary. I found the definition was from the transliterated Hebrew word which meant “firmness, fidelity, steadfastness, and steadiness”. I also found the word origin meant “trustworthiness, faithfulness, or dependability”.

I’ve been going through some turbulent times lately that have just put me in a tailspin and taken me to the edge of a meltdown. But God has been faithful. The world spun around me as if I were encircled in a hurricane, but I found that if I kept my feet firm/anchored on His truth and His promises, and kept my eyes on Him (Hebrews 12:1-2), there was peace in the midst of the storm.

Please understand I am NOT saying I am “Miss Stable” or super-sanctified or anything like that – I have fallen on my face (a lot) in recent days and come up muddy, bruised and one big shameful mess. What I am saying is, in spite of all that, God has been there for me, He has been my Rock, the One Who listens, Who always loves me, comforts me, supports me… and the One and Only Who in all of life remains forever my true source of stability. Like the old hymn says, “On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand… all other ground is sinking sand.”

Are you about to give up? Feeling like you can’t take one more thing or you will just lose what little is left of your mind? Go to God and tell Him. Yell, scream, cry… whisper… or just be silent before Him letting your tears speak the words your heart is too crushed and tired to say. Hang on to Him when you can no longer hang onto anything/anyone else – He will be your stability, when nothing else makes sense. Depend on Him, trust Him and He will do this for you. Hang onto Him for dear life.

2010 - Day One

2010-01-01T16:58:00.000-05:00

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am a planner. I love to put together lists, charts, timelines, budgets... sticking to them, however, well, that's another story. However, as I spend my time this first day/weekend of 2010, I think this Scripture passage will be highlighted for me this year. It keeps my priorities in dead-on focus and will encourage me not to get so overwhelmed all the time as I juggle past/present/future. It doesn't tell us not to plan, but just reminds us Who is in charge of it all, and to make sure He's at the center of our lives.

As I said earlier, sticking to it... well, that's certainly something I need to continue working on this year. My grandma used to say "The road to hell is paved with good intentions!" I want to put feet to my faith each day, and to my plans, goals, etc., and not just "intend" myself into frustration, depression, and failure.

But I also want to eliminate my habit of overplanning, overdoing, overcommiting, and letting the busy-ness of it all shadow and crowd out what (and Whom) is truly important. Too often I have allowed myself to take on too much, only to become depressed and paralyzed into "couch potato let the TV numb you and procrastinate you into oblivion" syndrome. This year I want to build in breathing room, "being" room, margins amidst the appointments and commitments -- calm the frenetic pace just a little. Let's try a simplier, more serene path to success!

Hmmm... can I do it? Dunno... but I'm not going to worry about that right now... tomorrow is another day!

A Timely Video

2009-12-31T17:57:00.002-05:00

Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

A New Years tradition is some station playing a marathon session of all the old Twilight Zone episodes. This year you can watch them on the Syfy Channel (http://www.syfy.com/twilightzone). While I'm not much of a fan of the channel, I am a huge fan of the Twilight Zone series, and one of my favorite episodes is entitled "The Obsolete Man" from 1961. In a future state where religion and books have been banned, a librarian is judged obsolete by the Chancellor and sentenced to death.

As we look back on 2009, and ahead to 2010, and think about our past/present/future lives, goals, dreams, regrets, plans, resolutions, and all the "meaning of life" questions, I invite you to view this video -- CLICK HERE. It's truth is as plain as the black and white film on which it was shot -- and more than enduring.

How Long?

2009-11-12T08:14:00.002-05:00

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient…"

Patient – greek makrothumeo (verb) (Strong’s concordance number 3114)
1. to be of a long spirit, not to lose heart
a. to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles
b. to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others

It is almost impossible to be patient when you have been maligned, treated unfairly. You want immediate action taken to right the wrong, set the record straight, and have your name/reputation cleared of all mud and falsehood. At the same time, you want to run and hide, and give up altogether. To endure is almost worse than the words/actions which brought you to this place of sorrow and darkness and pain.

God tells us love is patient – “of a long spirit”. Somehow this sounds to me like we need to prepare to love for the long haul, because “long spirit” certainly doesn’t strike me as a momentary situation.

Lord, I confess I don’t want to love patiently like this. I want all this to be over… now! I have been knocked breathless and feel gutted. My heart is shattered… my spirit crushed, my will fading and weary… how long? I know You loved like this, I know you continue to love like this… and I know You call me to be like You. But Abba, I am before You, a heap of brokenness. I can barely face another hour, let alone a lengthy perseverence – how am I to do this?

I read the words of Psalm 38:15 “For I hope in You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God., and I will wait for You.. my only Hope.” Help me to know these are more than words on a page, Abba. Hold me close because I am struggling and just don’t think I can take much more.

The Mundale Simple Blessings of a Friday Afternoon

2009-10-16T20:16:00.001-04:00

2nd Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day

I would like to celebrate…. today.

In NJ, today was cold, rainy and gray. Okay, I’m a freak – I LOVED IT! I absolutely loved every minute of it – the coldness biting into my skin as I walked to my office from the parking lot at half-past dark thirty, watching the wind bend the branches like a virtual ballet of leaves at lunchtime, the raw “rake through your skin” breezes. I ate an amazing homemade chicken noodle soup and roll at lunchtime (thank you, Whole Foods). After work, I was blessed to go to my gym and swim/steam/sauna and chat with several interesting women. And now, here I am on my most favorite night of the week, relaxing and enjoying Friday night. A bit of study for my classes, several lovely phone calls with family/friends, and the magic of my favorite night of the week. LOVE IT! I’m excited about a class I’m teaching next week, loving the classes I’m taking, and overall resting in the fact that I am one very, very blessed woman.

So why do I blog this? Well, because first I guess I’m just plain old happy. But also to share the joy of the simplicity of the relatively mundane. “Ain’t no big thang” going on here – just some weather and chicken soup and warm water swimming, a steaming cup of tea… but oh, the incredible joy of it all. The smell of far-away fireplaces burning as I left the gym (dream – have a real fireplace). The mist of the autumn rain on my face. The warmth of a bowl of soup. It’s a bit hard to convey… there is a very concrete “feel” to all of this – a stirring of the soul, a deep-seated interior giggle, a sighed satisfaction in it all. But it is so concrete, and wonderful, and R-E-A-L!

Take a moment in the next few days to be aware of all the blessings so easily overlooked. Oh God, thank You for the joy and gift of today. May I never take any of this for granted.

3 a.m.

2009-08-17T03:47:00.005-04:00

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
I awaken gently in the middle of this warm August night. The room is dark, and I am alone with my thoughts, with my troubles, and with my God. He speaks to my heart and in the stillness of the night, He gently but firmly deals with areas of my stubborn self-will and disobedience. As David wrote in Psalm 51, my sin is ever before me. He knows my weaknesses and the sins which so easily entangle me and trip me up (Hebrews 12:1). I read verse one of Psalm 51: “Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions. He reminds me that I am free – that He has taken those sins upon Himself on the Cross, and paid for them Himself. I have heard these words hundreds of times, but their mercy and love are fresh and new this night. I (yet again) ask for His forgiveness, and He wraps me in it and holds me close.

I pour out myself to Him – telling Him all the things on my mind, all the things that are unsettled and making me anxious and afraid. My Father, my Lord... my Friend listens and listens as no other can in these most-alone times in the wee hours of the morning. The tension drains from me as I am heard and understood, and I find the rest and peace only He can give me.

It’s now 3am and He blesses me with sleepiness once more. The crickets sing their lullaby in the distance as I settle my head against the pillow, breath a deep sigh of comfort, and drift off to sleep safe in the Good Shepherd’s care.

Hebrews 4:14-16
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

My Name is Linda... and I'm a Busyholic

2009-07-24T19:43:00.002-04:00

Ephesians 5:15-17
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

My name is Linda, and I’m a busyholic.

I take great pride in filling my calendar to overflowing with appointments, meetings, work, church activities, social engagements, classes, workouts, hobbies, and any/everything I can cram into it. You see, it makes me feel valuable. It makes me feel useful. It makes me feel worthy. I’m not “taking up space”, I’m making the most of every moment… productive… efficient. It means I’m juggling all the “Proverbs 31 woman” balls in the air, serving family, church, community, and of course, God. After all, isn’t that what it means when God tells us to make the most of every opportunity? Thanks to my calendar, I can prove that I am godly and worthy and …. exhausted.

Psalm 42:1 says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.” Well, I’m panting all right, but honestly, God, it’s not for You. It’s because I can’t breathe from the maddening pace of my life anymore. I hide the fact that I am so doggedly tired I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I’m often cranky and sometimes cry for apparently no reason. I shoot verbal bullets of sarcasm and my spirit becomes critical and mean because my eight hours of sleep have been strung out over the last three days. That now-not-so-occasional glass of wine has become a very easy way to make it all go away and finally fall asleep at night. My glass house of perfection is shattering, and I find myself in pieces in the midst of the blood-soaked soul rubble.

I am surrounded by a sisterhood of women who are just like me – running the not-so-good race, and falling down sobbing because we are bone weary from demands and expectations put on us from every area of our lives and everyone in our lives, but most especially ourselves. We have bought the lie, and been driven to distraction from that which really matters. We smile and laugh and say, “oh yes, let’s get together – how’s your planner look for, say, six months from now on Wednesday between 6:12-7:55?” And all we truly want to do is go to bed and pull the covers over our heads for at least a month.

How do we “stop the madness”, stop the foolishness of destroying ourselves, and begin to understand what the Lord’s will is? He calls us first and foremost to Himself, to simply be with Him. He tells us to come to Him, all of us who are weary and heavy-laden, and He promises to give us rest. But how? By getting up another hour earlier to add more prayer and Bible study to our already laborious life? Are you kidding me???

No, it begins by saying NO! No to those things which are not really bad, but maybe not best for us. It begins by recognizing that our worth, our value is already sealed with God. He is crazy about us, we are the apple of His eye, just as we are, right this minute. It begins by giving up the false things that make us feel worthwhile, and seeking first His will. It begins with obedience.

So… what does this practically mean? Well, I dropped a summer class at college, because I realized the accelerated pace and late hours would be especially grueling and that was just not absolutely necessary right now. It means I give up my drive for Ms. Do-It-All, and learn to pray first about what things I will say yes to, and if they fit in with the bigger plan of His will for me.

I have had some wonderful examples lately in my life of women who have had the courage to obey His voice. My friend Pam stopped doing many service activities, because she knew God was calling her to put on the brakes. She chose to say yes to things she enjoyed, because while they were good, they weren’t what God’s best was for her.

Another woman is Jennifer Swanson, who has had a very successful website/ezine/blog and organization business which I enjoyed for years. Jennifer has had the courage to let go, because she is obeying. How? As she writes, “… one step at a time… by faith.” Her site will close August first, and I applaud and admire her for following His will, and wish her every blessing her heart can hold! I love the verses she has chosen on her web page, Ecclesiastes 3:1,6: "There is a time for everything,And a season for every activity under heaven: A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to hold on and a time to let go."

That’s how we can do it... one step at a time... letting go... by faith. We may be saying no to things we enjoy, and prying our fingers open from clutching to the comfort of our frenzied, frazzled calendars, but we are obediently saying YES to God, to the many blessings we’ve been too busy to see and receive. We are releasing ourselves to Him, to the blessing of time to breath, for 10 unhurried minutes, for a quieter spirit, a calmer day, to a life of rest and peace, which can only be found when we sit at His feet.

My name is Linda, and I’m a recovering busyholic.

Leave Me Not to My Own Fruit

2009-07-01T08:55:00.002-04:00

Proverbs 1:29-31: Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the Lord, since they would not accept my advice and spurned my rebuke, they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my life, and reflecting back on my earlier years in my twenties and thirties. It’s painful… because those are years I walked away from the Lord and chose to live exactly as I pleased by my own wisdom, rules and standards. I wasn’t about to be “fenced in”. I wince and shake my head as I look back on those days, and try not to dwell on the “what might have been” life had I remained obedience to the Lord and followed in His paths for me.

I also must realize that the past is just that – the past. There is nothing I can do to change one minute of what has been. However, what I can dwell on now is that I am forgiven, and I have a fresh day today in which to change my course and choose His wisdom and ways for me. I can glance back and learn the lessons there, but not allow remorse for my wasted youth to paralyze who I am today in Christ.

When you are choosing to live outside God’s will for your life, the punishment isn’t some lightning bolt from Heaven, or God’s vengeance pouring out on you in a Job-like scenario. I think the worst punishment we receive is that the Lord allows us to eat the fruit of our own ways and be filled with the fruit of our own schemes. I have paid a dreadfully high price for turning my back on Him, but it was at my own hand, not His. He hurt and wept watching my back as I ran away from Him as fast as I could. And yet, like the father in Luke 15:11-31, when I came back broken and worth less than nothing, He ran to me, kissed and hugged me, wept with me, cleansed me, and made me feel priceless and worthy again – a beloved daughter.

Even after that, I am still tempted (and sometimes succumb) to following my own strong-willed heart and “wisdom” (can you spell D-U-H?!?!). Lord, give me strength to follow You, give me remembrance of how my life was without Your loving arms around me, fencing out the pain and hardship of what my choices outside your will reap. Today help me to remember the sweetness of living in Your will, the joy of obedience to You, and the indescribable peace only being wrapped in Your love and path can provide.

Spurring Partners

2009-06-25T22:18:00.000-04:00

Hebrews 10:23-24, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

I am so thankful for friends in my life who challenge me, inspire me, encourage me, hold me accountable, love me, and consistently point me back to my walk with Christ. Some are close by, some are not, some are across the ocean. Yet as I read their emails, blogs, twitters, hear their voices, watch their faces, I see the beauty of God working in each of their lives. I watch their obedience as their hearts turn towards our precious Savior. My own heart stirs to walk a better walk, love God better, and to be the devoted Christ-follower I want so badly to be.

Their authentic, real, up/down journey of faith spur me on.

The original word root in greek is paroxuno (par-ox-oo’-no) and means to make sharp, stimulate, urge, stir. How amazing it is that the Lord gives Himself to us, in a way, through each other – His Holy Spirit rises up in us to encourage us, make us more like Jesus, and in turn when we speak of Him together and draw closer in love/friendship, we stimulate/stir up/urge one another on towards a better/closer walk with Christ. What a blessing are these dear friends… these gifts from God.

To Everything There is a Season...

2009-04-24T12:34:00.001-04:00

Ecclesiastes 3:1: "To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven..."

In the fall I purchased special thermal plastic sheeting to cover the inside of some of the windows in my home to seal in the cold and save on energy (and heating bills). My daughter and I had fun installing it, because you basically take a hair blow dryer and shrink wrap the sheets to vacuum seal your windows against the outside elements.

It is a beautiful spring morning today – so I went out to my back yard, turned on my new water fountain, filled up all the bird feeders, relishing every moment I was out there. However, I have a lot of studying to do today, so I reluctantly returned indoors and set up my study area on the dining room table, where the windows overlook the entire yard. As I sit here writing this I can see about a dozen goldfinch and purple finches feeding, a fiery red cardinal on the other feeder, two red-winged blackbirds, some sparrows, and a big old woodpecker up in his favorite tree perch. I can also see the beauty of the flowers and herb gardens – reds, whites, purples, yellows, and a variety of vibrant greens from the trees, plants and glass, all highlighted by a crystal blue sky flooded by sunlight.

What’s that got to do with thermal vacuum-sealed windows? Well, I had to take about five minutes after coming in to remove the sheets so I could open those windows for the first time since fall, to welcome/usher in the fragrant springs which refresh every room, cleanse out the old air and bring in the new. It also helps me hear more clearly the melodic sounds of the birds as they sing their morning anthems.

My heart and thoughts rest on seasonal changes, and how much they mean to me, both from nature’s standpoint, and from a personal perspective. There are times in our lives when it is important to seal ourselves away, to embrace solitude and quiet, to shut ourselves against the cold storms of life. Sometimes it’s as simple as just escaping, if only for a little while, the daily bombardment and clutter of life. Other times it’s needed because we’ve experienced a hurt or loss for which we need time to weep, sit with our pain, regroup, recover… and remember how to breathe. Often it is to spend time alone with God – whether it be in prayer, in the study of His word, or just simply to be still and know that He is God. Whatever the reasons, it is good to find that time to heal and just “be”.

However… as with the seasons, the time comes to open up again, to remove the seals we’ve put up against everything. In due time we must have the courage to open the windows of our heart and life, take a slow deep breath and begin to look outwards. The view is clearer, the sounds (or words or lessons) are more readily heard, the cleansing and growth process begin again. It is the gift of new day, and a new season in your journey.

In memory of Dee

2009-04-17T08:18:00.002-04:00

1 Corinthians 15:53-55,57

For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. Now when this perishable puts on the imperishable, and this mortal puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will happen, “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!

My friend Dee Hunt went home to her Savior yesterday afternoon after a long battle with cancer. Her life was dedicated to Jesus Christ, her husband, son, grandsons, family, church, and friends. Until her illness took its toll she was the women’s ministry director at our church, and I can’t tell you how many of us were touched and graced by Dee. She was a beautiful, elegant woman with a huge smile that just lit up the room. She has made an indelible impact on so many, and her life is an inspiration and example for us all.

We band together in our grief and loss, but also celebrate that she is free, no longer shackled by the pain and disease, and is smiling that beautiful smile as she hears her precious Lord finally say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Goodbye for now, Dee... our world is a bit smaller and sadder without you.

Small Things with Great Love

2009-04-14T17:13:00.000-04:00

Psalm 90:12 "So teach us to number our days that we may present to You a heart of wisdom."

Since the last time I blogged, another wonderful friend/husband of one of my dearest friends has passed away after battling cancer, and two other friends are both in the hospital fighting their third stint with cancer. Amazing people who have (and still do) touched my life in so many ways, fighting the good fight with courage and passion, just as they have lived.

Not surprisingly, I’ve been thinking a lot more about the brevity of life lately, and spending time deep in thought about how I am living my own life. One ugly thing I have had to face is that I’ve been very selfish and self-absorbed. No matter how busy my schedule, there is always time for a quick email, call, or actually dropping a real card into the mail to let them know I was thinking about them, and praying for them. I am ashamed that I didn’t take the time to swing by someone’s house just for a quick chat or cup of tea. No, I can’t be all things to all people, but I can do SOMEthing. Mother Teresa is credited with saying, “We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” I have failed miserably, and pray I will be forgiven by my friends.

The days slip by quickly, and we mean to do the little things, and next thing you know, it’s next week or month, and there’s a million other things demanding our attention. My friend Ali used to have a little catch phrase that always made me smile – she’s just look at me and say “STOP YOURSELF!” Well, I am determined to do just that – to stop myself, look outside myself and my little world, and find a way each day to do one small thing with great love.

Loss

2009-03-23T19:39:00.001-04:00

My friend lost her husband today. She was at work this morning, got a call, and he was gone… just like that. After 25 years of marriage and four children, you could see in the way they looked at each other that they were just crazy for one another. He was full of life, and had a smile that lit up the room. Suddenly, that is all gone… in a moment…

As a Christian I know he is with the Lord now, and that they will see each other again. Theologically, there is hope. However, today, that knowledge doesn’t comfort my heart. I ache for her, for her emptiness, for four children who no longer have a father, for the life they've known that is now ripped apart forever.

It just doesn't make sense...

Gratitude Cubed.1

2009-03-21T15:34:00.002-04:00

Psalm 106:1 "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever..."

Today I am grateful for:

1) An opportunity for a long, relaxing hot shower. Usually I'm rushing around thinking about all I have to do that day, and never even think twice about the calm you can find in just enjoying the clean, warm water. When I think about how many people in the world can't enjoy this simple pleasure, I feel especially blessed.

2) That first cup of tea in the morning - why is it more comforting and delicious than any other cup throughout the rest of the day?

3) Saturday morning -- even though I am swamped with studying for my algebra test, I was able to sleep a bit later than most mornings, and don't feel quite as crazy rushed as usual.

So, Lord, thanks for these three blessings today!

Sanctuary Spots

2009-02-26T10:48:00.001-05:00

Psalm 8:1 1 O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.

In my ongoing frenetic search for peace and serenity in my daily life, (what??) I do try to find “sanctuary spots” in which to breath, reflect and relish the moment. Stop laughing, I really do! Keep it up, and I will (with amazing serenity) ask you to lean closer to your computer screen so I can slap you!

Breathe… breathe…

Okay, as I was saying… I am learning (operative word here) to discover tiny escapes throughout my day in which to enjoy my everyday life (thank you, Joyce Meyer). Some days I’m like a little kid who finds a quarter on the sidewalk – yippee! A treasure! Other days I’m like the senior gentleman trolling the beach at 5:30 as he misses his mark on finding anything in the sand with his ever-present metal detector, grumbling to himself as he goes home frustrated and empty-handed.

But this morning…. ahhh… it was one of “those” moments. Dashing through my morning routine, I placidly began my commute. Did I say placidly? Hmmm… perhaps not the most accurate description, but I digress! I was on the road again (thank you, Willie Nelson). It must be closer to spring, because at long last I wasn’t driving in the black shadows of half past dark-thirty.

As I drove down the highway, my breath was taken away by the swirling colors of the rising sun. Blues, grays, hues of lavender, purple, peach and rose danced and entwined like silk ribbons on a warm breeze. It was as if God was surprising me with a morning gift, saying “Here, I made this just for you!” It truly was one of those magnificent moments. Brief, sweet, and wonderful.

My day is now in full-throttle mania, but I am smiling because that commuter memory is today’s “happy place” I can revisit again and again (thank you, God).

Colonoscopy

2009-02-02T15:18:00.002-05:00

I am a woman who has survived her first colonoscopy. I deserve chocolate. I deserve flowers. I will deserve them again in March, because this one didn't "fly" and I have to have it done again. Imagine my joy! How will I sleep until then???

Last week, to cheer and support me, one of my friends sent me an article by one of my favorite writers, Dave Barry. On this auspicious occasion, it seems more than appropriate to share it with anyone reading here.

Enjoy!

http://homegrownmedia.com/archives/dave-barrys-colonoscopy-journal/

PERTURBATION

2009-02-02T15:08:00.001-05:00

Psalm 37:5 (The Message) “Open up before God, keep nothing back…”

In my Psychology of Stress class this week, there was a quote from the Greek philosopher Epictetus, who wrote that death was a “common consequence of chronic perturbation”. I looked up the word perturbation, and found that it meant:

a. The state of being perturbed; agitation.
b. A small change in a physical system.
c. Physics & Astronomy Variation in a designated orbit, as of a planet, resulting from the influence of one or more external bodies.

Well today I’m a citizen of my own little perturbation nation. I feel agitated from the inside out, as if I took all my emotions and tossed them in the hard and fast agitation cycle of my washing machine. They just keep slopping and spilling and milling around, going nowhere.

Being “perturbed” does make a real change in your physical system. It makes you want to jump out of your skin, you either can’t sit still or you veg out in front of the boob tube like a zombie. Everyone is on your last nerve, and screeching their nails on the blackboard of your soul. Your brain doesn’t seem to function clearly, and you feel all jumbled up inside. You find all sorts of unhealthy, unsmart and negative ways to ease your stress instead of stopping and dealing with it effectively.

Most significantly, my orbit around the Son has been knocked off kilter – the last thing I feel like doing is praying or reading my Bible. I get mad at God (duh, see last statement about not thinking clearly), mad at myself, and I don’t want to be influenced by external bodies, either (like family or friends or for that matter anybody on earth). I just want to run away (off orbit) and hide.

My textbook says stress follows a predictable route, the “stress-response pathway”. Well, I don’t like being predictable, and I don’t like this pathway. I don’t like turning into a grumpy little gnome/hermit, as comfortable as that is for me. And I don’t want to run away from God. If I can’t find my peace in Him, how will I be able to deal with stress anyplace else? And certainly, the last thing I want on my gravestone is the phrase “Died of Chronic Perturbation”!

So, even though I don’t feel like it (at all), I will choose to sit with Him and talk with Him about this day and all that has transpired. I won’t put on any false fronts (like He would be fooled anyway), and I will be real with Him, crabbiness and all. I will seek His face, and His grace and comfort and mercy and guidance. Only then will my perturbation turn into inspiration, and hopefully someday, maturation.

Oh yeah, and I’ll remember to take a few deep breaths and count to ten, and try to find something funny in this day as well.

The Terrible Threes

2009-01-07T08:18:00.002-05:00

Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

It seems like things, good or bad, come in threes. So since October I've had two sets of threes: I fell down a flight of steps, on Thanksgiving as I was taking the turkey out of the oven the pan buckled and I spilled hot turkey grease all over me, and then I was in a car accident. The second set: I had to rush my mom to the hospital the Friday before Christmas (thankfully, she was home the same day), after picking up my car at the auto body shop the engine decided to get sick (to the tune of $1,500 inc. rental car fees), and two days before Christmas I unexpected had to put down my cat of ten years. Ho-ho-ho. On the up side, I had a lovely Christmas, I got a B in algebra (a Christmas miracle for sure), and my daughter surprised me with a long weekend visit. I keep trying to count my blessings and look for God's hand in all these things, but don't kid yourself, some days it can really be a challenge and put me in a funk.

So here's a fresh new year and I'm planning for the best, working some resolutions, and walking the new road. Last night after work I walked to my car in the parking lot, put the key in my ignition, and the car sounded/acted just like it did before I had the work done on it. Ugh! But... I was able to drive it over to the dealership, get to Enterprise for yet another rental (since December 5th I've driven about five cars), and go about my merry way. I chose not to go ballistic (always my first reaction), but to say a prayer of thanks for being able to drive the car to the dealership, to be able to afford a rental car, and to get home safely. I'm no Pollyanna, but I am choosing to look at the blessings and trying not to dwell on the junk. Not that I'm above a serious pity party, believe me, but I am just trying to stay calm and focused, realizing the true priorities in life and looking for(and learning) the lessons.

Here's to this not turning into another series of three! I'll keep you posted!

Christmas Advent Calendar Devotions

2008-12-18T09:40:00.004-05:00

When I was growing up December 1st was always an exciting day for me, because my family gave me the annual advent calendar. I remember my grandmother making me a homemade calendar one year - I've always loved them!

So, as a gift to you, I have created an advent calendar at http://www.westudygodsword.com/CHRISTMAS.html

Just click on the number of the tree ornament that corresponds with the date, and you will have a new little "gift".

Enjoy, and many blessings as we celebrate the season (and Christ, the reason for it).

Once Upon a Time...

2008-05-14T15:53:00.001-04:00

Psalm 51:3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.

Once upon a time I was in the yard of my Father’s house. It was a beautiful day, and I was just happy playing and enjoying myself. Outside the gate I spotted the cutest little stray puppy. He sat at the gate, and I could see him between the wooden slats. He had big eyes and just whimpered a bit. He was cute as a button, and when I didn’t come over, he barked to get my attention.

I walked over and reached my hand through the fence, and he nuzzled against it and licked me with little puppy kisses. Oh, he was adorable. Now I knew I wasn’t supposed to leave the yard, but when I tried to get the puppy to come close enough to draw him in through the slats, he would scamper off just out of my reach. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to just open the gate and gather him into my arms, so I went out to get him. Instead of coming to me, he got playful and began to run off, here and there. I took a few steps forward, but he wouldn’t come to me.

By now my heart was set on making this puppy my own, so I ran off after him into the woods. It wasn’t long before I found myself in the thickness, but we came across a grassy open patch, and he sat down. Finally, I caught up to him and we began to play. It was so much fun… until I realized it was getting dark and I should be getting back to my Father’s house.

I got up to leave, but the puppy wouldn’t budge. When I went to gather him up in my arms, he nipped me. I tried again, but he nipped me harder. He looked so cute, though, and so I played a little more, although I knew better. Again, my conscious prodded me, so I got up to leave. As I turned around to try once more to take my sweet little playmate home with me, I realized he seemed to have grown a bit. In a flash, he bared his teeth at me, jumped in front of my path home, and wouldn’t let me go. I was afraid, but had no one to blame but myself. Why didn’t I listen and stay inside the gate, where I was safe?

It’s been awhile now, and I’m still in the woods. Oh the puppy will play with me and periodically will cuddle against me, but whenever I try to leave, he grows into a big ugly animal and bites me. Sometimes I bleed. I have a lot of scars from the wounds. I can’t explain why, but I’ve grown to love him even though he hurts me.

I long to go home. Some days I can almost see through the woods to my Father’ house. I’ve tried to get back, but I feel trapped. And I feel so ashamed that I got myself into this situation in the first place. I want to call out to my Father to come and rescue me, but the words choke in my throat. I miss my Father. I want to get home, but I’m not sure how. All the plans we made, I feel like they’re ruined now, and each day my life slips away.

I wish I had known the name of the puppy was Sin.

From A Sinner's Perspective

2008-04-14T22:15:00.008-04:00

Because it feels good
Because it makes me alive
Because it kills the pain
Because it makes me feel loved
Because it helps me forget
Because it’s a quick fix
Because it’s what I’ve always known
Because it's a comfortable lie
Because I’m afraid to take that step of faith
Because I’m not as strong as you

I want to believe
I want to be different
I want to stand for Christ
I want to choose the right way… this time

But…

Because Jesus loves me
Because I am forgiven
Because I’ve screwed up for the 1,000st time
Because of 1 John 1:9

Maybe… just maybe

This time will be different
This time I can see the victory
This time I can see me as Christ sees me
This time will be different

Oh Jesus, in this desperate hour of
Imperfection
Forgive me
Cleanse me
Help me

In You alone, my Savior
In You alone
My hope, my redemption
My only reason for living
My truest love
My heart
My eternity

Take the Risk...

2008-03-07T09:43:00.000-05:00

Isaiah 43:18-19 (Message)

Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.

Our past can hold us back from all God offers us in the present, and promises us in the future. Pain, betrayal, mistrust, suspicion, failed relationships, abandonment, abuse… and so much more. When we turn back and keeping focusing on, giving time/attention/energy to all these past wounds, we don’t see the next step in the journey.

It’s like being lost in the desert. You walk and walk until you are parched and exhausted, and ready to drop. You steel yourself and in anger refuse to take another step. You turn around and see nothing except your own bloody footprints from where you’ve been, all the wrongs you’ve suffered, the path filled with nothing but hurt and disappointments. You convince yourself this is all there is, and allow it to define your world.

If only you will believe and go a little further, over the ridge is a cool refuge, trees to shade your weary brow, a crystal bubbling stream of the sweetest water you’ve ever tasted ready to quench your thirst. Just a little more, and you will find a place more beautiful than you could imagine.

Please have faith. Look up to what beckons you forward. Take the next step. Turn around to your future, leave the past in the past. God is calling you to something wonderful, but He will not force you to go – you must choose. Be present – see what you have in your hands this very minute, and all the promise of the future. Don’t grip the sands of your past history in your fists – you will only wind up with aching clenched hands of emptiness. Open those hands, let it go, and God will fill those hands with His blessings that are too numerous to count, too big to hold.

Take the risk…

SPLAT!!!

2008-01-28T22:54:00.002-05:00

Psalm 30:5b: “…weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

I had come home from church on this beautiful, sunny Sunday morning. There was a break in the bitter coldness that had engulfed our area, and the mildness was rich in the air. The sermon had been meaningful, and I was feeling good. It was one of those “all’s right with the world” moments, when you’re smiling and happy and calm. I half expected some little cartoon animals to gather around the car and begin singing… okay, maybe that’s a little over the top, but it was a great Sunday morning.

I stopped for gas, and across the street the car wash was gearing up for what looked to be a promising day of sales. What better way to wash away the grime of a cold week than to treat my car to a car wash and drive home in style, the black hood glittering in the sunlight, all fresh and clean? I drove over, got in line, turned up the radio, and enjoyed the moment. Now this is the type of car wash where you get out of your car and stroll along as your car goes through each wash station. I have to admit, I still get a kick out of watching the foam spraying all over the place, the rhythm of the water streaming, and the huge whirling brushes and air dryers do their thing. The only thing better is actually being able to sit in the car! I always imagined that, just perhaps, when you went through the car wash in your car, you might come out in another land, just like the scene where Dorothy opens the door onto a colorful Land of Oz!

I paid at the counter, and went out to my beautiful baby car, all gleaming and enticing as the day I took her off the lot. Yes, it was a good day! I got in, took a moment to enjoy the fresh scent of scrubbed rugs and vanilla freshener, turned the radio back up, and began to drive away. And in literally two seconds, no sooner than it took to turn onto the road home, SPLAT!!!! A bird christened my windshield, and by the looks of it, I think it must have been a turkey vulture or perhaps an unusually large goose! (Pigs aren’t flying yet, are they?) No…. no… are you kidding me? Are you kidding me???? It was one of those surreal moments when suddenly everything goes into slow motion, and you are faced with “the choice.” Okay, I can really let this get to me. I can get ticked off and grump and mumble about my bad luck and just really let it get to me. Or, I can try to find the humor in it. I starting laughing… not just giggling, but laughing until my sides hurt and the tears welled up in my eyes. I just downright howled with the ironic silliness of it all! Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor? I managed to get home, and grabbed a HUGE roll of paper towels and an economy bottle of window cleaner, and managed to get rid of the mess, through fits of giggles.

I couldn’t help but think how much life is like this little analogy God gave to me this sunny Sunday morning. We go along, feeling good, living strong, and suddenly SPLAT!!!! Something comes along to fowl up our plans, to dump all over us to the point where we can’t see clearly any longer. And we’re faced with a choice – do I focus on the SPLAT on my windshield, or do I try to find the lesson, and the humor, and just ride it out? Sometimes it’s a great big SPLAT, some life-altering news; sometimes it’s a smaller SPLAT that still rocks us to the bone. Either way, we have a choice in our reaction, and in our focus. We can look to God to give us strength and courage and to help us deal with what has been dumped on us. And hopefully, at some point, we can smile again.

I encourage you to grab some paper towels, and laugh.

A Fresh Start

2008-01-28T22:54:00.001-05:00

Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I began a new job today, and it feels like January 1st “fresh start” time again. I realized that I was walking into this company with a clean slate. No one knows me – no reputation to be upheld (or lived down), no mistakes to overcome, no regrets. I have a clean canvas upon which to paint the next scenes of my journey. It’s almost heady – I can be anything, anyone, they have no idea who the real me is yet. I could practically come in with a fake accent and they would be none the wiser.

So what will I do with this newfound freedom, this opportunity that doesn’t come along too often in life? One of the Seven Habits (by Stephen Covey) says “Begin with the end in mind.” I would like to look back on the end of my career at this new company with the knowledge that people would say about me, “You know, I never heard her say a bad word about anyone.” I hold this goal very dear, as I know how easy it is for me to be sarcastic, passive aggressive, and to allow the bitter words of gossip to drip from my lips like venom. Too often I have wished with all my heart that I could have taken back a harsh word or cruel, thoughtless comment – the joke at another’s expense, the wry cynicism that was in direct opposition to words that would be kind and gentle and useful.

This time, I want my words to be filled with love… uplifting and healing. I want Jesus to be reflected in every utterance that comes from these lips. At the end of the day I’d like to be able to listen to a replay of my conversations and not only not wince at something, but to breath deep and smile and know that my speech was pleasing to God. I’d like to use my words to build up instead of tear down. And with the Lord's help, each day I will begin walking towards this goal with the prayer from Psalm 141:3 -- Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD, keep watch over the door of my lips.

Making This Year Count for Christ

2008-01-01T13:38:00.000-05:00

Matthew 6:33 “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”

As with so many around the world, we begin a new year with new goals and resolutions. Weight/health goals, financial/material goals, relational goals, career/education goals. I want to weight X amount, earn X amount, get a new car, develop a deeper relationship with my spouse/significant other/children/family member, get a promotion, get my degree… All these things are good, and important, and we should start off the fresh pages of 2008 with clear goals and specific, targeted steps for the journey ahead to achieve those goals.

How about spiritual goals? Have we thought about that? Oh, yeah, I’ll read the Bible this year, and try to get to church more often, maybe teach a Sunday school class or volunteer for vacation Bible school this summer. Again, all good things to accomplish this year.

But… have we invited the Lord into our goal-setting process this year? Have we laid out our dreams and desires before Him in prayer and asked Him what He wants for our life in 2008? All those goals mentioned above – have we placed them before Him and asked if that’s what He wants us to accomplish?

Before we consider any goals, consider what Andrew Murray wrote in the January 1st devotional of the book, “The Andrew Murray 365 Day Devotional”:

Many Christians… have never really grasped the secret that the Lord Jesus in Heaven will continue His work in them every day, but only on one condition: every soul must give Him time each day to impart His love and His grace. Time alone with the Lord Jesus each day is the indispensable condition of growth and power. Bow before Him, tell Him that you long for Him and His love, and He will let His love rest on you… learn the lesson of spending time each day, without exception, in fellowship with your Lord.

When we think about our lives and what is ahead for us this year, above all else, we must give our hearts and lives afresh to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. When we ask Christ into our lives, to forgive our sins and cleanse us, we become Christians – Christ-followers. We are forgiven, and begin a new life with Him. We, too, are called to grow up into strong, mature believers (a lifelong process). This requires daily time with the Lord – as important as the air we breathe and the food we eat.

First and foremost as we sit down to write out our new goals, we must place time each day to meet with Jesus through prayer and Bible study. Not because it’s one more ritual that will make God love us more (He loves us that much now, no matter what), but because we want to develop our love relationship with Him, to get to know Him better, and become more like Him. As with any relationship with someone we love, our desire is to spend time with that person, just be in their presence, learn all about them, please them, share our hopes and dreams, love them more and more. It’s just the same with our relationship with God. That should be our top goal, our top priority this year… because we love Him.

Then take all the rest, lay them out before Him, ask Him what He thinks, ask Him for guidance and wisdom so we can know that everything we are shooting for this year in His will and on His path. May this year be for all of us the best year ever in making our lives count for Christ - for being a mirror of His love and righteousness and purity - for a life more abundant in joy and growth than any year before, because we have put Him first.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Second Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart… inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

1 Chronicles 22:19a Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the LORD your God…

Joshua 1:7 (Message) Give it everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out… every bit of it. Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going.

Philippians 3:13-14 I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: forgetting the past… I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to Heaven. (Living Bible)

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in His grace until His task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns. (Living Bible)

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 …run your race to win. To win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best. (Living Bible)

Hebrews 12:1-2 Let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience/perseverence the particular race that God has set before us. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. (Living Bible/NIV)

The countdown begins...

2007-11-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow officially begins the "countdown to Christmas" in my mind, even though I know many have already fought the crazy Black Friday crowds, getting to stores by 4:00 a.m. to save big money and get all their shopping done before the Thanksgiving weekend is done, with time to spare to decorate the house from inside out! I have to tell you, there is nothing on God's good earth that I covet badly enough to go out and stand in line for at 4:00 a.m.! Hmmm... okay, MAYBE if Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin BOTH came back from the dead and were doing a concert, I MIGHT stand in line at 4:00 a.m. for that! But then, I'm an old earth mother hippie who still loves the scent of patchouli.

I really had a case of the Scroogies this year, which is unusual for this normal Christmas-a-holic. I didn't even think I was going to put up a tree. The thud you just heard was the people who know me fainting! But yesterday, my friend Allison brought me this teensy little purple tinsle Christmas tree. Now you may think a purple tinsle tree is tacky, but being a purple glitzy glitter freak, it was the most wonderful, thoughtful gift! It's so "Charlie Brown"-ish and was just the spark that warmed the coldness in my holiday spirit and tugged that stake of holly out of my heart. I even found myself humming a Christmas carol.

And with that one simple act, my whole outlook has been refreshed. Thanks, Allison, you really blessed me in a very special way.

Her act also reminded me that my heart and outlook should be focused on others, and doing all I can do to bless them, especially at this time of year. So starting tomorrow, I am going to try to find some way to bless at least one person each day - that's my living advent calendar life act for this Christmas. I encourage you to join me. Maybe it's something as simple as opening a door for someone laden down with packages. Perhaps it's paying for the coffee of someone behind you at Starbucks. Maybe it will mean inviting a single person and/or single parent to join you and your family at the holidays. Think and pray about it, and I'm sure you will think of many ways to bless someone. Do it as a family, and keep a "blessings journal" together, as a record of what you did together -- it might start a whole new holiday tradition! What better way to honor Him who gave up so much to give us the gift of eternal life?

I'm off to put on some Christmas music and bake some cookies from the recipes I found here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/entertaining/ Have a blessed day!!

Feelin' Flaky!

2007-11-19T13:00:00.000-05:00

Grab the hot chocolate and mittens – it’s snowing outside! While I’m not a winter enthusiast, the little kid in me always gets excited at the first snowfall. Now I will tell you, my idea of winter sports is being the designated hot chocolate maker and cookie-baker while watching from a warm kitchen and giving my best “Donna Reed’ wave to the crazies scampering about, tossing snowballs and making snowpeople. Toss in a fireplace, and I’m ready to nestle down until spring. (And, dear readers, if you don’t know who Donna Reed is, well then go Google her, because I probably have socks older than you.)

There’s just something fresh and clean and wonderful about lifting up your face to the Heavens and feeling the snowflakes drifting down onto your cheeks and eyelashes. In my head I hear the song “Snow” from one of my favorite movies, “White Christmas”. Once the rush is over, though, I’m happy if it snows (lightly) on Christmas Eve (see aforementioned movie reference), and then I’m satisfied for the rest of the season. Truth be told, the last time I seriously played in the snow was with our women’s ministry leaders at a retreat during an unexpected snowfall, and we wound up making a snowwoman in the retreat leader’s front yard that seriously resembled Dolly Parton. Yep, yep, yep… we didn’t add those pictures to the next PowerPoint presentation at church, as I recall!

As I’ve blogged earlier, I’ve been going through a valley recently. But I feel a change in this “season”, and I lift my face to Heaven as God gently showers me with His love. It’s time to heal, and laugh, to dance, (see Ecclesiasts 3:1-8). So I’m breathing deep with a renewed smile on my face, a new lightness in my heart, and blessings on my lips to the God who loves me. And who knows? I might just go take a walk in the snow!

BLESSINGS!

Post-menopausal late mid-life "pregnancy"

2007-10-17T16:47:00.000-04:00

The last six months have been a whirlwind of activites, life changes, relational changes, educational "reginnings" (starting agains), and basically having my liferug pulled out from under me on practically a daily basis. I've been trying to keep my eyes on Christ (Hebrews 12:1-2) and have been asking Him for wisdom and discernment, because I want with everything in me to learn the lessons I know He has for me in this classroom of chaos and confusion.

I have cried more in the last six months than I have probably in the last six years combined, and then some. I have a tile that I purchased a few months ago with a crucible on it, and sometimes I just sit in my room and hold it in my hands while I pray, or just quietly weep, trying to make sense of it all.

In an odd way, I feel as though I'm life pregnant. It seems like God has something in the works for me, something big, really big, but I have NO idea what it is just now. So I wait, and wait, as He grows and develops me and His plans for me. Days like today I ache inside, with the negatives of hurt and despair, but also with a sense of curiousity and anticipation. Call me crazy (trust me, you wouldn't be the first, and I'm sure not the last), but I feel like I'm on the horizon of some new birth in my life. So stay turned...

BEYOND

2007-08-22T22:50:00.004-04:00

New Beginnings

2007-08-22T22:50:00.003-04:00

POSTED Thursday, September 6, 2007: My first "blog" entry -- I'm finally in the 21st century! My word today is the Hebrew word tranliterated as "Chayah" (khaw-yaw'), a verb defined as "to live, have life, remain alive, sustain life, live prosperously, live forever, be quickened, be alive, be restored to life or health. What a wonderful word, and how applicable as I begin this blog's "life", as it were. As I share thoughts, ideas, and any insights here, my goal is to have fun, quicken brainstorming, thoughts/ideas with readers, and most importantly to honor and glorify our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in all that is "blogged"! So does that make this "blogging for Jesus"? :)Chayah!