Life Leeches

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

Have you ever seen the classic movie “The African Queen” with Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn?  If not, let me recommend you put it on your list of must see movies!!  There’s a scene in the movie where Bogart and Hepburn are stuck in his broken down tramp steamer that has become trapped in the tangled weeds and mire of the Ulanga River.  In a daunting task, he submerges himself up to his shoulders in the muddy canal and literally pulls the boat along by a rope until he gets it to higher waters.  Just as he begins to celebrate their victory with Hepburn, he looks down to discover he’s been covered with leeches hidden in the murky waters.  Horrified, they begin pulling the disgusting, slimy critters from his body before he becomes their bloody lunch!

How many times I have thought of that movie when I find myself overwhelmed by the “dailies” of life… the small, individually insignificant irritations/clamorings for my time, energy and attention.  In and of themselves, these problems can be exhausting yet manageable.  But when you’re weary from the day-to-day battle, especially when there seems no end in sight, these back-to-back in-your-face troubles can toss you from the sure-footing of your own life’s boat into a stagnant and muddy river that threatens to wash over you and swallow you whole as you gasp for breath.  And just when you find your balance long enough to stand up again, you’re covered by what I call “life leeches” – the seemingly innocuous small events that bleed you dry.  It can be anything from a suddenly broken dryer (when, of course, you’ve just put in a full, dripping load of laundry), to an argument with someone, to a bad day at work or school, to a flat tire, or even discovering that your cell phone has lost it’s charge… even something as plain as not getting enough sleep.  Again, it’s not the big events – it’s the never-ending onslaught of these little life leeches that suck the energy, joy and hope right out of you until you’re ready to just call it a day and self-medicate in your own special way to numb the monotonous ache of facing another day… anything to escape.

I have to have faith that Jesus experienced this in His live as a carpenter, even before He began His public ministry.  And then… as He dealt with His ministry, the crowds, the disciples and His enemies, He had to have gone through His own “dailies” that drained Him as well.  I wonder if that was how He felt after being baptized and then spending 40 days in the desert, and then having to face the enemy?  In His humanity, He had to battle fatigue, hunger, discouragement, feeling overwhelmed and unsure of His future.  Surely He must have dealt with the struggle and juggle and attack of these insidious life leeches.

I’m not saying that knowing this makes it easier for me when I’m in the middle of the mess… I’m no saint who smiles brightly and sings Kum Bay Ah when I’m really ready to scream at the top of my lunges and drive off the nearest cliff.  I do yell and cry – and I try to do it with Him in the quietness of my room or in my car (in the garage, not necessarily on the road… although I admit I have found myself close to tearing off the steering wheel sobbing and shouting on a back road once or twice as I ever-so-Christianly “had fellowship and prayer with the Lah-or-Dah (yes, that’s Lord in three syllables).  I cling to the belief that He can handle it, and understands and allows me to come to Him in my imperfection/despair/disappointment/depression o cry and vent and find comfort, without condemnation or disapproval because I’m not some strong and perfect Super-Believer.

I’m also not saying that it makes everything a bed of roses, either.  But it does give me His power, His peace and His courage to face and tackle those bloodsucking life leeches and try again another day. 

So if you find yourself in the same situation, my friend, before you go off the deep end (and I know you may be teetering off the edge right now), come to Jesus.  Be earthy and real and share yourself and your pain honestly and openly.  Dump it all on Him… because He cares for you, and you will find rest and answers with Him.  

My Name is Linda... and I'm a Busyholic

Ephesians 5:15-17
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

My name is Linda, and I’m a busyholic.

I take great pride in filling my calendar to overflowing with appointments, meetings, work, church activities, social engagements, classes, workouts, hobbies, and any/everything I can cram into it. You see, it makes me feel valuable. It makes me feel useful. It makes me feel worthy. I’m not “taking up space”, I’m making the most of every moment… productive… efficient. It means I’m juggling all the “Proverbs 31 woman” balls in the air, serving family, church, community, and of course, God. After all, isn’t that what it means when God tells us to make the most of every opportunity? Thanks to my calendar, I can prove that I am godly and worthy and …. exhausted.

Psalm 42:1 says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.” Well, I’m panting all right, but honestly, God, it’s not for You. It’s because I can’t breathe from the maddening pace of my life anymore. I hide the fact that I am so doggedly tired I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I’m often cranky and sometimes cry for apparently no reason. I shoot verbal bullets of sarcasm and my spirit becomes critical and mean because my eight hours of sleep have been strung out over the last three days. That now-not-so-occasional glass of wine has become a very easy way to make it all go away and finally fall asleep at night. My glass house of perfection is shattering, and I find myself in pieces in the midst of the blood-soaked soul rubble.

I am surrounded by a sisterhood of women who are just like me – running the not-so-good race, and falling down sobbing because we are bone weary from demands and expectations put on us from every area of our lives and everyone in our lives, but most especially ourselves. We have bought the lie, and been driven to distraction from that which really matters. We smile and laugh and say, “oh yes, let’s get together – how’s your planner look for, say, six months from now on Wednesday between 6:12-7:55?” And all we truly want to do is go to bed and pull the covers over our heads for at least a month.

How do we “stop the madness”, stop the foolishness of destroying ourselves, and begin to understand what the Lord’s will is? He calls us first and foremost to Himself, to simply be with Him. He tells us to come to Him, all of us who are weary and heavy-laden, and He promises to give us rest. But how? By getting up another hour earlier to add more prayer and Bible study to our already laborious life? Are you kidding me???

No, it begins by saying NO! No to those things which are not really bad, but maybe not best for us. It begins by recognizing that our worth, our value is already sealed with God. He is crazy about us, we are the apple of His eye, just as we are, right this minute. It begins by giving up the false things that make us feel worthwhile, and seeking first His will. It begins with obedience.

So… what does this practically mean? Well, I dropped a summer class at college, because I realized the accelerated pace and late hours would be especially grueling and that was just not absolutely necessary right now. It means I give up my drive for Ms. Do-It-All, and learn to pray first about what things I will say yes to, and if they fit in with the bigger plan of His will for me.

I have had some wonderful examples lately in my life of women who have had the courage to obey His voice. My friend Pam stopped doing many service activities, because she knew God was calling her to put on the brakes. She chose to say yes to things she enjoyed, because while they were good, they weren’t what God’s best was for her.

Another woman is Jennifer Swanson, who has had a very successful website/ezine/blog and organization business which I enjoyed for years. Jennifer has had the courage to let go, because she is obeying. How? As she writes, “… one step at a time… by faith.” Her site will close August first, and I applaud and admire her for following His will, and wish her every blessing her heart can hold! I love the verses she has chosen on her web page, Ecclesiastes 3:1,6: "There is a time for everything,And a season for every activity under heaven: A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to hold on and a time to let go."

That’s how we can do it... one step at a time... letting go... by faith. We may be saying no to things we enjoy, and prying our fingers open from clutching to the comfort of our frenzied, frazzled calendars, but we are obediently saying YES to God, to the many blessings we’ve been too busy to see and receive. We are releasing ourselves to Him, to the blessing of time to breath, for 10 unhurried minutes, for a quieter spirit, a calmer day, to a life of rest and peace, which can only be found when we sit at His feet.

My name is Linda, and I’m a recovering busyholic.