My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Eleven

A Different Life – Dare to Live No Longer for Self

Galatians 2:20 – I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Author: "When we try to protect ourselves, we often put up walls that keep even God’s voice out. What if we laid ourselves aside? What if we believed, really believed, that God’s love is powerful enough to protect us, keep us, and guide us into everything we will never need in our lifetime? What if, because of this love, we began to live differently than anything we ever imagined? Faith is like breaking out of our own little world of experience and living in abandoned devotion to Him."

Today’s Dare: Live No Longer for Self

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
I am a stubborn, self-reliant, fiercely independent woman with a rebel heart. Through much of my life my motto has been “Ain’t nobody gonna be the boss of me.” I have been kicked around enough to learn that the only person I can trust and depend on is me – and the older I grow, the more boundaries I build to protect what is left of my shattered, tattered and scarred self. This isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy people – I’m not some hermit who lives in a dark little room peeking out from behind the blinds – no, most people don’t see the invisible room from which I peer that is built with mistrust, suspicion, and disappointment. I am a survivor, that is what I allow you to see, and my life is my own.

But that’s a lie. My life isn’t my own. My life belongs to Christ. I’m supposed to lay it down at His feet each day, lift up my will as a sacrifice of praise to Him. That’s a hard one – to unclench these fists and let it all go, like sand, so that my hands will be open to His will, His blessings. It sounds good, but it’s soooo much harder to do. As the author writes, “What if I believed God’s love was enough? Enough for me to live differently than ever before, ever imagined???" How would that look? How would that sound? How would that feel?

God is asking me to…
- Believe His love, His promises
- Remember that God wants the best life for me
- Remember that the enemy doesn’t love me, but masquerades as a lover (ain’t THAT the truth!)

My challenge is to…
- Live bigger than the smallness of myself
- Trust Him for strength in the areas that tempt me to live in ways that aren’t God’s best for me

Father, my heart does want to live in abandoned devotion to you. I want a rebel wild faith that is tamed only by You, corralled by Your Holy Spirit, laughing with You, running with You, being still before You and knowing You are God. Take the rest away; I give it freely, because it’s all nothing but dung without you. My dreams and hopes and ambitions will only be fully realized when they are in Your hands, along with my heart. I will only be completely me when I am lost in You.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Ten

Mind Management – Dare to Guard Your Thoughts and Fill Your Mind with Good

Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ.

Today’s Truth: Philippians 4:8 Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, - think on these things.

Today’s Dare: Guard Your Thoughts and Fill Your Mind with Good

From The 4:8 Principle, Tommy Newberry says, “The battle you wage against in your human nature is an invisible one that will be won or lost in the mind. Minute by minute, hour by hour, in the hidden workshop of your mind you are constructing thoughts of good or evil, depression or joy, success or failure. You are writing your own life story as a human being with each subtle and soundless thought you think.”

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
In a recent Bible study one of the women said that in order to control her thoughts, she immediately had to replace one rejected negative thought with a positive one. It’s like pulling a weed in your garden and immediately replacing it with a favorite flower.

We are bombarded by an internal critic that loves to tell us negative things all day long. It is up to use to CHOOSE to guard your thoughts and fill your mind with the Lord. Oh, it’s true, it takes practice and a LOT of prayer and falling on God’s assistance, but be of good faith – it can be done!

In Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book “Who Switched Off My Brain?”, she tells us that every thought can become toxic, and physically/ emotionally/ spiritually dangerous. She calls it “toxic thinking”, and it can actually change our brain – amazing. But think about it (no pun intended), how often do you feel happy/sad/stressed, all because of a thought, or a past memory, or when thinking about something that is going to occur? Not only that, but every action we take begins with a thought. So we must be very intentional and focused on what we think each moment. And what better way than to focus on Christ? Hebrews 12:2 – “…fixing our eyes on Jesus…” Here the word for fixing is aphorao, and it means to turn the eyes away from other things and fix them on something. Our choice, our job, our responsibility is to actively turn our eyes/thoughts away from other things and onto Christ, and on what He has called us to think about (Philippians 4:8).

I think of what God says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, where we are called to take “every thought captive to the obedience of Christ…” The word captive is aichmalotizo, which means to lead away captive, or capture one’s mind, captivate”. We must lead our thoughts away from the paths of unrighteousness, to our captivating Savior.

God is asking me to…
Turn my brain over to Him, and allow Him to help me keep my thoughts on Him.

Lord and Savior, true and kind, be the Master of my mind;
Bless and guide and strengthen still
All my powers of thought and will.
While I ply the scholar’s task,
Jesus Christ be near, I ask;
Help the memory, clear the brain,
Knowledge still to seek and gain.
Bishop H.G. C. Moule – Church of England Bishop

My challenge is to…

Each day I am given multiple opportunities to think unhealthy, unedifying, unholy, just plain old “un” thoughts. I can let my mind drift into areas where it should not go: fantasy, acts of revenge, thoughts of what I coulda/shoulda said to someone else, thoughts of what could have been, thoughts wrapped up in me-me-me. My challenge is to corral those renegade thoughts by the power of the Holy Spirit, and to present them to God and ask Him to change them to thoughts of His will, for His glory. Just my everyday thoughts can turn towards Him as I speak to him continually throughout the day. I need to set my mind on Him.

Think about it!!!

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Nine

Asking and Not Receiving – Dare to Remember that God Gives good Gifts to His Children

Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

Today’s Truth: Matthew 7:7-11 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

In today’s chapter the author speaks about long-unanswered prayers concerning one of her children. She writes, “God has something good for my child and will answer my prayers on His behalf. The answer will come in God’s time because everything is about a bigger picture. But surely in God’s time the answer will come in the form of a good gift. Whether it is the answer I wanted or expected is not important; the important thing is that God will give the right gift and answer to prayer at the right time. I am still waiting…seeking…knocking… praising… even though I don’t see the answer today, I know it’s coming.

My heart aches so desperately writing this tonight that I can barely breathe. I have been praying for my daughter for years, and I am still praying. My head and heart know and believe God’s promises… but sometimes, when I read something like this, it hits so close to home, like a pain-seeking missile zeroing in on its target. I confess there are times I want to give up, to drop in a tired heap and whisper “Why bother?”

From another viewpoint, I find it hard to see myself as the child/receiver of God’s gifts/answered prayer. Often my prayers are meager because I don’t believe myself worthy to either pray for something, or worthy of receiving. Why me? After all the trouble I’ve been/am, why me? I guess some of this comes from the whole not growing up with a father thing. I have no frame of reference.

Then again, in retrospect, there have been times when I have had answered prayers – and to tell you the truth, sometimes I must caution, be careful what you prayer for, because sometimes God will give you over to your heart’s desire. And that can be a VERY BAD thing indeed. This, of course, is not to say that I have not witnessed amazing, awesome, miraculous answered prayers in my life. I have, and it brings tears and praise and goosebumps.

I was sitting with a friend tonight talking about God answering our prayers, and sometimes when He does begin to answer our prayers, we almost don’t believe it. We do say why me? Sigh… Oh, Lord, You are SO patient with us… we ask/seek/knock, You answer, and then we struggle to believe it!!! You must shake Your head, sigh, and just smile…

Today’s Dare: Remember that God Gives Good Gifts to His Children


God is asking me to…
Believe He has heard my prayer and is working in His timing.
Turn my thinking around and learn to trust in God’s time.

Forgive my impatience, unbelief, and lack of faithfulness, Father. My heart is weary, and my faith is weak.

My challenge is to…
Rest and rejoice in His timing
Believe He will do what He says He will do
Be still and know that He is God

I will continue to ask, seek, and knock. I will believe You are working in my life and the life of my daughter to bring about Your glory, and I will believe what You say.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Eight

The Power Connection – Dare to Plug into the Power Source

2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Today’s Truth
John 15:4-5, 7-8, 11
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing… If you remain in me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to My Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourself to be my disciples… I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

Today’s Dare: Plug into the Power Source

Author: Dare to step out of your comfort zone today. Dare to try something you would not ordinarily feel you could do. Experience the power of God enabling you to live above yourself.

Well, yesterday was my whole “power source, plug” reference… and today I overslept and didn’t read this chapter until after work tonight. To tell you the truth, I don’t feel much plugged in tonight. I’ve been on the go ever since my feet hit the ground this morning, and I feel not empowered but just really, really tired...

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
But… I did just have a thought. When I go to sleep at night I plug in my cell phone and it charges all night, ready to rock ‘n roll in the morning. Fruit on the vine doesn’t just show up one morning, it begins often with a tiny blossom, then blooms, the petals fall away, and the fruit grows little by little. It stays “plugged in” to the branch.

Tonight I can think of myself as resting in God, remaining in Him, and being plugged in overnight as I recharge. To plug in before I go to sleep, I can end my crazy hectic day with a few quiet moments talking with Him, spend my last waking moments focused on God and His Word, and committing my sleep and dreams to His glory and care.

God is asking me to… Remain. Abide. Stay. Rest. Recharge.

My challenge is to…
Stay away when I pray – hey, maybe that’s not a typical holy devo moment, but it’s the truth. Spend my last waking moments thinking about God instead of my task list, memories, or a million and one other things that seem to swirl around in my head when I try to sleep. I like the idea of recharging myself in Him as I sleep – it gives me a safe, warm and comforting sense of the Lord’s presence.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Seven

The Power of God – Dare to Believe in God’s Power in All Circumstances

Romans 1:20 – For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

Today’s Truth

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Today’s Dare – Dare to Believe in God’s Power in All Circumstances

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
Author: “Dare to walk in the truth of being appointed by God in your everyday, average ordinary life. We do this by listening for His gentle nudges throughout the day.”

I don’t have a problem believing in God’s power – He is majestic, and I see His power in the sunrise, in the storm, in miracles, in His Word. But… it’s hard for me to see His power in me. Oh, I know that it’s His power in me when I am able to say no to a temptation, or able to obey Him. But when I think of me being appointed by God to do those good works... whew, me? Um, God, me… Linda… remember? The one who always tumbles down that slippery slope and falls on her face in the sin mud? The one who can’t seem to get out of her own way sometimes? And You can use me?

What an easy arrow for the enemy to use – shoot me down with reminders of who I think I am, when what I need to do is remember Who’s I am, and then maybe I’ll stop focusing on myself long enough to see the Power Source, and believe He can do what He says He can do.

God is asking me to…
Focus on Him, and believe Him, and not the lies that paralyze me.

My challenge is to…
Plug in to the Power Source – It’s like I’m standing here with an electric cord, right next to the wall socket, and complaining that I have no power. Du-uh! Plug in – read His promises over and over, remember my Father is Who He says He is, and will do what He says He can do. Whisper yes in my prayers to the belief that in Christ I can do ANYthing, and that God can and will use me, and has had plans to use me from the beginning of time! I choose this truth today.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Six

Transformed Lives – Dare to Renew Your Mind in God’s Word


Romans 10:17 Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.

Today’s Truth

Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young [woman] keep [her] way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all my heart; do net let me stray from your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.

Joshua 24:15 “… choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.”

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.

Today’s Dare – Renew Your Mind in God’s Word

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
Am I different where it counts – my mind? Yes, I can scrub up the outside fairly well, but what about my brain, is that transformed? What do I choose each day? And what do those choices say about me? My true values?

The author asks another disturbing question – “Do I think biblically about myself?” She writes, “The true route to freedom and healing of a damaged self-esteem is … letting God build you up in the truth about who you are in Christ and the truth about His involvement in your life.”

So here I have to define my values, and how I value myself. I have just been going over values in my studies as a life coach – values like love, integrity, truth. How am I choosing to live them out in my mundane, everyday life? And how do those values translate into valuing even myself? Hard questions to define/answer/live.

God is asking me to…
Not be a cookie-cutter anything in this world, but to come out and be fresh and new, radically His. God is asking everything of me, so I may be transformed into the image of Christ. But in losing myself in Him, I again find my truest self.

My challenge is to…
Sit down quietly and think hard about my values – are they worth living for, dying for? Are they in fact mine or just what I think they should be? And once defined, in what daily ways can I play them out? I don't want to be like everyone else, I want to be fully me. I generally feel that I don't fit in anywhere, so maybe I can use that viewpoint to see how I can be transformed instead.

Many questions spinning in my head tonight…

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Five

Not Conformed to This World – Dare to Believe You Are No Longer of This World

John 18:36 Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world.’

Today’s Truth

Romans 12:1 – Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Today’s Dare: Believe you are no longer of this world.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

I’ve had a lifelong battle giving up my self, especially my physical self, fully and wholly to the Lord. This chapter resonates with that struggle… it’s all about giving up my needs/rights and giving myself over to God and trusting Him to take care of me, to know what’s best for me.

Often in the Christian world these verses are associated frequently with our sexual selves (oops, did she use the “S” word?!??). Yep, sure did! But I loved that the author also highlights that this means the physical care of ourselves as well – the eating, the drinking, the sleeping, the exercise. Hey, let’s remember that the next time we have a pot luck dinner or ice cream social, hmmm??? How about we let THAT sin out of the closet, shall we? Absolutely, yes, we need to give God our sexual selves, but we also need to give over the temptation/desires/passions that poor eating can bring, or workaholism can bring, etc. Listen to the way the Message offers up Romans 12:1: “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life – and place it before God as an offering.”

God is asking me to…
Look at my bed, look at my checkbook, look at my calendar, look at my meals, my time, my dreams, my attitude, my words/thoughts/deeds, my everything… and lift it up to Him as a spiritual sacrifice, giving up the control of it all. Like the author says, “no more my way with a little Jesus on top.”

My challenge is to…
Let go, walk away from my so-called “rights”… and let God into every single little nook and cranny of any/every thing, and have full 100% control. My challenge is to let Jesus BE the Lord of my life, not just say it, but really truly LIVE it – flat out, radical, and unconditional surrender. Yeah, it sounds real good… but can I do it?

Lord, I’ve tried and failed so many times, but more than ever my heart cries out to You. Would you help me live wholly for You? I surrender all… I surrender all… all to Thee, my precious Savior… I surrender all.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Four

Dedicated to Living as His – Dare to Live Like You Belong to God

Acts 17:28 “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” As some of your own poets have said, “We are His offspring.”

Today’s Truth – 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

Colossians 1:27 “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

Today’s Dare – Live like you belong to God

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
Do I live on purpose? Do I live in the truth of who I am in Christ? I can’t say I get up each morning thinking, “Okay I belong to the Lord, now how will I plan my day around that and make it the foundation of everything else?” Yet this single truth defines everything about me, has changed my life, and makes all the difference in the world in who I am and how I live. I’ve misplaced that truth under the piles of daily living, and I need to dig it out, polish it up, and put it center stage. Maybe I should place one of those “Hi, my name is” name tags on my bathroom mirror and every morning have it greet me with “Hi, my name is Linda, and I belong to God!” There’s some brain floss to get your day going!

God is asking me to…
Live intentionally, mindfully, and fully in/for Him. That truth must color every moment, and be the most influential factor in any/every decision. But how do I put feet to that?

My challenge is to…
Live on purpose for Him. But what does that mean in reality? Well for one thing, taking that with 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 means I need to make some changes in how I treat my body. I am blessed to be involved in some wonderful coaching with Janet Daughtry and tonight we were chatting about values, and she asked me about my own values. Something important to me is living authentically/intentionally with integrity. She asked me what integrity looked like to me, and in our discussion I discovered that I needed to listen to my own voice and live with more integrity for myself – by taking care of myself as I encourage other women to do for themselves. I’ve been so wrapped up in so many different things that I have been slamming into the wall constantly. You know when you’re so tired that you feel like you’ve hit the wall? Well, that’s the point to which I’ve been pushing, pushing myself day after day after day. I need to take time for me, to recoup, restore and renew, and I’ve not been allowing myself to do that – thereby draining all my energy and running myself into the ground. I must take care of this body better because it does belong to Him, I belong to Him, and that’s really important! As a personal trainer, I should know better!!!

So, to that end, I will get to bed on time and not survive on five hours of sleep a night, and I will plan my meals better, and spend time with Him in quiet time together. Specifically, I commit to make time to walk with Him in the park this weekend. I will make a “date” to go to the park with my Father and enjoy His company, as I restore the body/soul. I will honor God with my body in this way.

My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day Three

Living Loved – Dare to Live Differently by Living Like You Are Loved

Jeremiah 31:3-4 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.”

Today’s Truth – How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

Today’s Dare – Make a list of the “other” things you have been called – give them to God one by one, then take a black marker and blot those labels off your list!

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

Oh no you didn’t… you did not hit me on Day Three with a gut-wrenching, heart bomb like this!

The author admits she had “… a chronic belief that I would never be enough…the not-enough girl.” We are told we need to “pour God’s love into our learning center – our mind – so it can make its way into our hearts. It is not natural to live feeling loved by God… we learn to live loved by taking His Word of truth by faith.” We are told that God has lavished His love on us. I have always been drawn to that word – LAVISH… it sounds so rich and smooth and bountiful.

God is asking me to…
Face things I don’t want to face! The author writes: “When we live as one who is loved… life is no longer a set of unfortunate circumstances but instead a journey with the Father.” Okay, that's all well and good, but what if you don’t know what it’s like to have a father? How do I wrap my brain and faith around that one? Where is my frame of reference? All day this whole “live like you are loved” has poked and prodded at my soul, pouring salt and vinegar into the wounds of ancient places I’ve worked years to push down.

My challenge is to…
Write those other things I’ve been called (or called myself)? I can’t even look at them. I know what it means to live as the “not enough girl”. I wince with the memories of what the old country song says…”lookin’ for love in ALL the WRONG places…” Again, I’m faced with the dare of digging up things I don’t want to remember, to see, and most importantly feel.

So here I am with black ink on a page, formed into a word I have said, have read, and often wondered if I ever really knew what it felt like or meant, and surely not from a father. God, I can tell You I’ve read the Love Letters, verse after verse, where You tell me You love me, and I intellectually believe it, really, I do. I know I shouldn’t depend on feelings, but oh, how I wish I could literally feel Your arms around me in a big old daddy bear hug, so I could begin to understand what Your love tangibly feels like… forgive me, I know Christ gave everything to love me, and I don’t mean to ask for more. I just want to know what it feels like to climb into Your lap and cuddle up.

I acknowledge, Father, that I need repair. I admit only You can fix me. I will utter Your name as Abba, Father, and invite Your Holy Spirit to pour Your love into my brain, to teach me what it means to be loved, to be lovable, to be the “enough girl”, for You. As You wrote in Jeremiah, I will believe Your promise that You will rebuild me. Lavish away, Abba, lavish away… I choose to believe You.

And as I write this, the web station I’m listening to just began playing “Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us” – one of my favorite hymns as a little girl in Sunday School… and it brings back memories of feeling happy and safe and loved and belonging… and I begin to weep with this immediate gift of affirmation and love from my Abba…

My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day Two

Follow the Leader – Dare to Pay Attention to God’s Lead

John 8:12 – Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

Today’s Truth: Coming to God fresh each morning, and following Him is “a daily call of surrender”.

Today’s Dare: Pay Attention to God’s Lead

Today was a wicked crazy day from the moment I opened my eyes. When I read this chapter the first thing that hit me was the sentence: “But no matter what is in front of us, there is a deeper purpose to the day: to follow after Christ and pay attention to how He wants us to live in the mundane moments of real life.” It brought to mind Mother Teresa’s quote: “Do small things with great love.”

How could I go about paying attention to God’s lead running full throttle on today's hamster wheel? One little thing – I tried to keep my sense of humor and not let the day steal my joy. I tried to be more appreciative to those around me, and to do the best job I could all day, ignoring the mundane nature of many of my tasks. I made the time to call a friend. As I’m writing this I realize none of these things will win me the Nobel Prize for loving, but its baby steps toward paying attention to God’s leads – those little moments that nudge our hearts, but if we ignore them, they’ll pass us by in an instant, never to return. I mean, I didn't mutter "What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?" wearing a plastered happy face while I scurried down the hallway, I just made an effort to pay attention to Him instead of my circumstances.

God is asking me to… Another passage of the book read: “It’s easy to do the things that come naturally to us. But it’s not so easy to lay down our will and follow God into the areas that are difficult or unnatural to our reasoning, feelings or habitual ways of living.” Here I felt God was calling me to two separate invitations involving what I believe He has gifted me to do, but it felt difficult because it involved my time/calendar, which is already overloaded. So what is He calling me to give up in order to make time for these new responsibilities? That I’m not sure about yet… I’m a bit apprehensive… which I guess doesn’t sound too holy, does it? But it’s true; I’m wondering what He has around the corner for me that I can’t yet see.

I have to think of it like dancing, where I must trust my partner to show me the signals to follow his steps, to allow him to lead me when I can’t see the whole floor, and to believe he will watch out for me. It is a small act of submission with each step, but if I try to take the lead, the dance is clumsy.

My prayer – Lord of the dance, Lord of the hamster wheel, Lord of my life –today's efforts seem like such meager crumbs of obedience to You, nothing major or meaningful. No bells or whistles for the Kingdom. Just a few clumsy and mundane moments... but they were Yours to have. I hope I made You smile.

My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day 1

Based on the book "The Faith Dare" by Debbie Alsdorf

I decided to do the faith dare because I needed a kick start in my faith. The question on the back cover of the book reads “What would happen if you lived out your faith every day, in every situation?” I want a wild faith, a faith that Debbie Alsdorf, the author, says is “walked out with intention, conviction, and humble surrender.” I want to be authentic, warts, blunders, and all. I’m tired of a manicured, perfect hair and makeup soft-spoken white-washed Christianity. I want an earthy, real faith that impacts every hour and shakes me to the core so that my Jesus becomes as real as every breath I take. It's all come to this -- the ultimate goal -- that I will hear "Well done, good and faithful servant" when He calls me home.

Why here in so public a forum? To be transparent and vulnerable, and to be accountable, so I will stick to this and follow-through all 30 days. So here I go…

What is faith to me? Giving Jesus Christ control of my life and believing His Word even when I can’t understand it or see/feel Him. Putting everything I am, everything I have, and all my meaning for living in His hands and looking to Him for my validation, my direction, and my meaning.

There is a question in this chapter that reads: (pg 28) “How can a woman learn to live in God’s love when her natural bent is to protect herself from further rejection?” That struck a chord with me. I need God to heal my expectations and fill my spirit – I can only look to Him for that, not to anyone else on earth, as much as I love my family and friends.

DAY ONE – The Miracle of a New Heart – Dare to Ask God for a New Heart.

Proverbs 27:19 “As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.”

Psalm 86 talks of asking God for an undivided heart, and Ezekiel 36:26-28 speak of God’s promise to give me a new heart and put a new spirit in me, of removing my heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh (Message – a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed”).

Today my verse will be Psalm 86:11 – “Give me an undivided heart…”

Today’s truth – I am so fragmented. My heart/life is like a BodyWorks display I saw at the Franklin Institute this summer, where one body was ‘exploded’ into hundreds of pieces, each hanging precariously in space. My heart does belong to Christ, but it’s just all over the place. I have so many commitments, so many interests and passions, that I wind up doing many things “half-heartedly”, including my walk with God. I see myself as a “heart hoarder” – cluttered and piled up and unable to move for all the excess.

God is asking me to – become focused – allow Him to clean up my messy heart and give Him 100%. He wants to reorder and restore and renew this old, tired, shattered thing called my heart. He wants to remove the adhesions, scars, cobwebs and junk, and make it shiny and new, centered around Him.

My challenge is to – obey and release control. What does He want me to love best, to give my focus and attention to each day? First and foremost, I must give Him the time, attention, focus and priority – and then take my marching orders from there.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Living Bible) Trust in the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct your and crown your efforts with success.

James 1:5 (Living Bible) If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to give bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him.

A Visit to Town

Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever”

This past weekend a friend and I visited a quaint little town in which I used to live about 20 years ago. There is a big red mill complete with water wheel, a beautiful old bridge (reminiscent of the bridge in the classic movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”), and a breathtaking waterfall. Main Street always had interesting shops to explore, and there were restaurants, a museum, park benches… just a real old-fashioned town.

I was so looking forward to a juicy, lingering visit at the old little bookstore on Main Street. The years my (then) elementary school aged daughter and I lived there we spent countless hours pouring over the wide array of books there, from children's to mysteries to historical to spiritual and self-help, tons of magazines -- everything under the sun. It was wonderful - so much variety in such a small store. It was just a little brick-front "shoppe", but it was filled with magic and wonder. As I neared this bit of sanctuary with growing anticipation, I realized (like a cold slap in the face) that it has been replaced by a modern, stainless-steel decorated electronics store - UGH!

To add insult to injury, I went up to our other old "haunt", the delicious and decadent town bakery, an original old-fashioned bakery with a counter a mile long just jam-packed with everything you could ever want! Crullers, bear claws, warm rolls, every chocolate-drenched cream-filled irresistible delight imaginable. Early mornings the heady scent of baking bread would dance through the town, over the river and into our open windows. I was fully prepared to toss all personal trainer discipline aside and have something sinfully WONderful. My heart leapt with joy as I saw the old sign still hanging... and then I entered. UGH2!

The entire front end of the bakery was now a Starbucks wanna-be lounge area with chairs and couches – albeit quite lovely, I must admit. There was a small counter about 1/4th of the original, and some upscale loaves of bread behind the counter, and a selection of coffee or tea in big black plastic containers. The now barely-there glass counter housed some muffins, a few delicacies, but nothing that called out my name and beckoned me onward. Okay, if it was the first time I was there I would say it was quaint and lovely. But again, another blow to the heart and memories of being there with my daughter, our noses both pressed up against the glass, laughing and trying to figure out what we would purchase to take home and linger over with our respective coffee and cocoa on a crisp fall Saturday morning.

Sigh… the world seems to spin colder and harder each day, and so many of the beloved, comforting places spin right off the planet as the pace gets madder and more furious. It can be overwhelming and quite depressing. I am so thankful that God never changes, and that when I seek Him out, He is always there, never “updated” or “revamped” or moved due to dwindling sales or the advent of some modern fad or technology. My weary and disappointed heart can always, always find its resting place in Him.

Hope

You are my hope, O Lord God; You are my trust from my youth. Psalm 71:5

In the devotional "Today's Daily Bread" was this Bible verse and the following poem:

Our strength and hope is in the Lord -
We rest secure in His sure Word;
And though we're tempted to despair
We know we're kept within His care

These are days when my heart is heavy and has dropped itself just under a giant, cold boulder in the pit of my stomach. A certain situation in my life has left me with no control, no answers, and the temptation to fall apart and let discouragement, despair and depression take control.

But today I will choose God. I will choose to trust in Him and believe He has control of it all. I will not try to manipulate anything or figure it all out, but instead will leave it in His loving and wise hands. I will choose to wait in silent obedience. I will choose to hope in Him. It is only in the darkest night sky that we can most clearly see the brillance of a shooting star.

I will find my comfort, my peace, my all and all in Christ and in His Word. I will wrap my favorite Psalm 23 around me like a comforting warm blanket and rest in Him... not because I am godly or wise or holy, but because I am utterly NOT... because I am weak and helpless, and therein lies my only wisdom - to know that in Him only is everything I need, all my answers, all my peace.

I will lift up the broken pieces of my heart as a sacrifice of praise to my Almighty God.

Psalm 23
1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

To Let Go

To Let Go Takes Love
by Dr. Margaret J. Rinck

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and to love more

Stink Bug Theology

Matthew 6:34: "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. (The Message)

In this neck of the woods we have a common visitor known as the stink bug. These are nasty little creatures about the size of your fingernail, brownish, and the shape of a shield. These particularly ugly critters are loud when they buzz around – we’re talking helicopter dive-bombing you loud! And if you should catch one and smoosh it, they emit an enormously foul stench – hence, the name “stink” bug. While I’m no theologian or scholar, I am sure these creepy crawlers showed up on the scene three seconds after Eve bit that apple – a direct creation/result of the Fall (right up there with war, pestilence, wrinkles and cellulite)!

So the other day I was getting ready for work, puttering around in my semi-comatose early morning state, not yet having had my three cups of tea to get me going. I grabbed my blow dryer, went to plug it in and… what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a creepy crawly disgusting stink bug parked directly over the outlet. He was totally blocking the path of my dryer plug. This bad boy was huge - the size of Milwaukee! And let me tell you, nothing wakes you up as quickly as stumbling upon the stealth attack of a stink bug on your outlet first thing in the morning! I ran screaming for the nearest tissue, plucked said evil visitor from my outlet, and sent him onto glory with a dramatic FLUSH! (My apologies to all animal rights friends out there). Needless to say, I still get the “willies” when I think of the incident.

I did a bit of research and found that stink bugs don’t generally bite, but they can cause damage to leaves, flowers, fruit and crops. They are attracted to light/warmth, will work their way into a home (under siding, into soffits, under roof shingles, etc.), and you can wind up with an infestation problem.

How does this relate to anything? Well, I got to thinking… stink bugs are a lot like those commonplace little problems and worries we have so often in life. They silently work their way into our thoughts throughout the day and night, destroying our peace. Have you ever had worries come flooding into your mind when you’re trying to pray? Ever have angst keep you up at night? Just like that stink bug on my outlet, worries can block us from connecting to our Power Source. We get so focused on them (and unfocused on God) that pretty soon those anxieties have eaten away at us, and we’re left with a ruined, fruitless day. Like an infestation, worry piles upon worry, anxiety upon anxiety and as Joyce Meyer calls it, we’re left with “stinkin’ thinking”! Now while I don’t recommend that you run screaming for your nearest tissue, I would suggest running to your Bible, and finding comfort and peace in the verses of His Word. Take all those foul troubles in prayer to the Lord – leave them all with Him.

Yeah, the junk of daily life often stinks.. but you don’t have to deal with it alone. Just hold your nose with one hand, grab those troubles with the other, and leave them with God – let Him be your “Spiritual Exterminator”!

Stability

Isaiah 33:6 “He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure.”

Today I was watching a segment of Life Today featuring a teaching by Beth Moore discussing a renewed mind. I highly recommend it!

She mentioned the verse in Isaiah above, and said one translation worded the beginning of the verse as “He’s [the Lord] my constant source of stability.” I looked up the word stability online and in my Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible and Word Study Dictionary. I found the definition was from the transliterated Hebrew word which meant “firmness, fidelity, steadfastness, and steadiness”. I also found the word origin meant “trustworthiness, faithfulness, or dependability”.

I’ve been going through some turbulent times lately that have just put me in a tailspin and taken me to the edge of a meltdown. But God has been faithful. The world spun around me as if I were encircled in a hurricane, but I found that if I kept my feet firm/anchored on His truth and His promises, and kept my eyes on Him (Hebrews 12:1-2), there was peace in the midst of the storm.

Please understand I am NOT saying I am “Miss Stable” or super-sanctified or anything like that – I have fallen on my face (a lot) in recent days and come up muddy, bruised and one big shameful mess. What I am saying is, in spite of all that, God has been there for me, He has been my Rock, the One Who listens, Who always loves me, comforts me, supports me… and the One and Only Who in all of life remains forever my true source of stability. Like the old hymn says, “On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand… all other ground is sinking sand.”

Are you about to give up? Feeling like you can’t take one more thing or you will just lose what little is left of your mind? Go to God and tell Him. Yell, scream, cry… whisper… or just be silent before Him letting your tears speak the words your heart is too crushed and tired to say. Hang on to Him when you can no longer hang onto anything/anyone else – He will be your stability, when nothing else makes sense. Depend on Him, trust Him and He will do this for you. Hang onto Him for dear life.

2010 - Day One

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I am a planner. I love to put together lists, charts, timelines, budgets... sticking to them, however, well, that's another story. However, as I spend my time this first day/weekend of 2010, I think this Scripture passage will be highlighted for me this year. It keeps my priorities in dead-on focus and will encourage me not to get so overwhelmed all the time as I juggle past/present/future. It doesn't tell us not to plan, but just reminds us Who is in charge of it all, and to make sure He's at the center of our lives.

As I said earlier, sticking to it... well, that's certainly something I need to continue working on this year. My grandma used to say "The road to hell is paved with good intentions!" I want to put feet to my faith each day, and to my plans, goals, etc., and not just "intend" myself into frustration, depression, and failure.

But I also want to eliminate my habit of overplanning, overdoing, overcommiting, and letting the busy-ness of it all shadow and crowd out what (and Whom) is truly important. Too often I have allowed myself to take on too much, only to become depressed and paralyzed into "couch potato let the TV numb you and procrastinate you into oblivion" syndrome. This year I want to build in breathing room, "being" room, margins amidst the appointments and commitments -- calm the frenetic pace just a little. Let's try a simplier, more serene path to success!

Hmmm... can I do it? Dunno... but I'm not going to worry about that right now... tomorrow is another day!

A Timely Video

Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

A New Years tradition is some station playing a marathon session of all the old Twilight Zone episodes. This year you can watch them on the Syfy Channel (http://www.syfy.com/twilightzone). While I'm not much of a fan of the channel, I am a huge fan of the Twilight Zone series, and one of my favorite episodes is entitled "The Obsolete Man" from 1961. In a future state where religion and books have been banned, a librarian is judged obsolete by the Chancellor and sentenced to death.

As we look back on 2009, and ahead to 2010, and think about our past/present/future lives, goals, dreams, regrets, plans, resolutions, and all the "meaning of life" questions, I invite you to view this video -- CLICK HERE. It's truth is as plain as the black and white film on which it was shot -- and more than enduring.

How Long?

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient…"

Patient – greek makrothumeo (verb) (Strong’s concordance number 3114)
1. to be of a long spirit, not to lose heart
a. to persevere patiently and bravely in enduring misfortunes and troubles
b. to be patient in bearing the offenses and injuries of others

It is almost impossible to be patient when you have been maligned, treated unfairly. You want immediate action taken to right the wrong, set the record straight, and have your name/reputation cleared of all mud and falsehood. At the same time, you want to run and hide, and give up altogether. To endure is almost worse than the words/actions which brought you to this place of sorrow and darkness and pain.

God tells us love is patient – “of a long spirit”. Somehow this sounds to me like we need to prepare to love for the long haul, because “long spirit” certainly doesn’t strike me as a momentary situation.

Lord, I confess I don’t want to love patiently like this. I want all this to be over… now! I have been knocked breathless and feel gutted. My heart is shattered… my spirit crushed, my will fading and weary… how long? I know You loved like this, I know you continue to love like this… and I know You call me to be like You. But Abba, I am before You, a heap of brokenness. I can barely face another hour, let alone a lengthy perseverence – how am I to do this?

I read the words of Psalm 38:15 “For I hope in You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God., and I will wait for You.. my only Hope.” Help me to know these are more than words on a page, Abba. Hold me close because I am struggling and just don’t think I can take much more.

The Mundale Simple Blessings of a Friday Afternoon

2nd Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day

I would like to celebrate…. today.

In NJ, today was cold, rainy and gray. Okay, I’m a freak – I LOVED IT! I absolutely loved every minute of it – the coldness biting into my skin as I walked to my office from the parking lot at half-past dark thirty, watching the wind bend the branches like a virtual ballet of leaves at lunchtime, the raw “rake through your skin” breezes. I ate an amazing homemade chicken noodle soup and roll at lunchtime (thank you, Whole Foods). After work, I was blessed to go to my gym and swim/steam/sauna and chat with several interesting women. And now, here I am on my most favorite night of the week, relaxing and enjoying Friday night. A bit of study for my classes, several lovely phone calls with family/friends, and the magic of my favorite night of the week. LOVE IT! I’m excited about a class I’m teaching next week, loving the classes I’m taking, and overall resting in the fact that I am one very, very blessed woman.

So why do I blog this? Well, because first I guess I’m just plain old happy. But also to share the joy of the simplicity of the relatively mundane. “Ain’t no big thang” going on here – just some weather and chicken soup and warm water swimming, a steaming cup of tea… but oh, the incredible joy of it all. The smell of far-away fireplaces burning as I left the gym (dream – have a real fireplace). The mist of the autumn rain on my face. The warmth of a bowl of soup. It’s a bit hard to convey… there is a very concrete “feel” to all of this – a stirring of the soul, a deep-seated interior giggle, a sighed satisfaction in it all. But it is so concrete, and wonderful, and R-E-A-L!

Take a moment in the next few days to be aware of all the blessings so easily overlooked. Oh God, thank You for the joy and gift of today. May I never take any of this for granted.