Are You Tearing Apart The Marriage of a Friend?

Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage should be honored by all…”

I work with a guy whom I will call Joe. Joe is in his late 20’s, is someone you're always happy to bump into, and has been married for a little over a year or so. He and his bride were high school sweethearts, and have been together about ten years now – a feat in and of itself! We were talking about marriage and career, and where Joe was headed next in life. What he said next almost brought tears to my eyes.

He said that right now he and his wife were just focusing on their marriage. He shared that in his current job position, he has been asked periodically to work out in the field instead of the corporate office – not just for a week, but for extended periods of several months at a time. Joe confided that, when asked, he explains that this isn’t a good time right now, because his wife couldn’t join him. He said his managers look at him like he’s got three heads, and then say, “But your wife will understand!” They can’t wrap their brains around the fact that Joe would prioritize his wife to a higher position than his career. The concept just ain’t even showing up on their radar screens. This talented, hard-working young man is risking, even turning his back on, the fast track to “success” in the industry by choosing his wife and marriage over what may be seen as valuable career experience. What a rare thing to see, and I pray God will bless them both richly for this choice. I guess Joe’s managers haven’t considering Deuteronomy 24:5 (Amplified Bible): “When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken.”

This made me think of how we honor the marriages of our friends and colleagues. When was the last time you prayed for the marriage of someone, not because they were having difficulty, but just because you wanted to support them and respect their marriage? In some traditional marriage vows, it is proclaimed, “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.” Asunder – an adjective meaning “into separate parts, into pieces; apart or widely separated.” Do we not put asunder a friend’s marriage when we speak words of discouragement and disparagement against their spouse? Do we not tear at the very fabric of someone’s marriage when we participate with her in sarcasm/joking/little jabs about her husband? Doesn’t joining with the girls in a little (even subtle) man-bashing highlight their husbands’ weaknesses and expose/make vulnerable the problem areas of their marriage? I’m not saying this is a woman thing, this happens constantly for both sexes, for we often make our spouse the brunt of many a joke, making fun of them in front of other people, then covering the damage by an explanation of, “Oh, I was only joking, don’t be so sensitive!”

Instead we need to stand enmeshed, heart to heart, to weave a strong hedge of love, protection, and consecration around the honor of marriage, for the unity of a husband/wife, and to do everything we can to be a source of encouragement and support for these two who journey together in the partnership God has given them. Take every opportunity to lift up your friend’s husband, your friend’s wife – reminding them of all that is good and loving and respectable and wonderful in the person they have married. When they come to you with a problem, of course you listen and acknowledge it, but pray with them/for them, read the Scriptures to seek godly answers. Certainly, I am not addressing areas of danger and abuse – what I am speaking of is the everyday occurrences, the “dailies” of marital problems. Dr. Stephen Covey calls talking about someone else “confessing their sins” – don’t be part of that negative and ungodly practice. Instead, vow as in Job 27:4 that your lips will not speak wickedness, and your tongue will whisper no deceit, and each day remember James 4:11 “Do not speak against one another.” Instead use your words to build up, edify marriage and marriage partners collectively and individually, and let your words be skillfully spoken, “like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11) Imagine how many marriages could be made stronger, more satisfying, and more fortified against the threat of divorce?

Challenge – for the next week, speak only positive words of encouragement to your friends about their spouses, and especially make it a point to speak the same words of love and support to the one to whom you have entrusted your own heart.

To Hold the Hand... To Hold the Heart

Isaiah 42:6 I the Lord have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee.

Transliterated word for hold – “chazaq” verb – to strengthen, to prevail, to make strong, restore/give strength, to support, to repair, to encourage

Today I read the devotional “Hold onto the Hand” from “Joy and Strength” by Mary Wilder Tileston (see below). To be honest, I’ve don’t remember ever reading this verse in Isaiah before, but then again, sometimes when we need it God causes a particular verse or passage of Scripture jump out like a neon sign, doesn’t He?

Think about the last time you slipped your hand into the hand of someone you loved. It immediately makes both a physical and emotional connection. I’m an unabashedly unashamed lover of hand-holding, and my heart always is moved when I am walking along and see that special someone’s hand in front of/beside me extended in invitation to reach out and take hold. It is an invitation to intimacy. My smaller hand in his, fingers entwined – it is a feeling of warmth, of safety, of feeling very special and proud that I am walking with him – and it visually identifies our personal relationship to others.

When someone you know/love is hurting, how often have you reached out and held their hand? When you pray with a friend, do you often hold hands? At times of encouragement, have you leaned over and placed your hand on top of the one you wish to encourage? Again, it is a non-verbal way of saying you care, of offering your support, of saying “I’m here for you”. How often this one small act of giving yourself says so much more than words could proclaim?

Sometimes when I am praying, especially when I need to “feel” Jesus in a tangible way, I will reach out and pretend that I am holding His hand. It brings me great comfort, imagining that He is sitting next to me, my hand in His. Okay, maybe it sounds a little odd, but it works for me. In fact, on my way to work this morning, I was doing the “commuter prayers” and while talking to Jesus (yes, I chat away as if He was right there), I did in fact reach over the (seemingly) empty seat next to me, and envisioned my hand clasped in His.

There was a song in the 70s by Anderson Lynn called “Put Your Hand in the Hand” and it spoke of putting your hand in His hand, the One who stilled the waters and calmed the sea. May I encourage you to take a moment to reach out to Jesus, slip your hand in His, and know His love for you today?

*********************************
Title: Hold on to the Hand
Author: Mary Wilder Tileston
Scripture References:
Isaiah 8:6
Devotion: Joy and Strength

DON'T be content with spending all your time on your faults, but try to get a step nearer to God. It is not He who is far away from us, but we from Him. If you ask me the best means to persevere, I would say, if you have succeeded in getting hold of Almighty God's hand, don't let it go.

Keep hold of Him by constantly renewing ejaculatory prayers to Him, acts of desire, and the seeking to please Him in little things.
MOTHER FRANCIS RAPHAEL

Strive to be as a little child who, while its mother holds its hand, goes on fearlessly, and is not disturbed because it stumbles and trips in its weakness. So long as God holds you up by the will and determination to serve Him with which He inspires you, go on boldly and do not be frightened at your little checks and falls, so long as you can throw yourself into His arms in trusting love. Go there with an open, joyful heart as often as possible; if not always joyful, at least go with a brave and faithful heart.
ST. FRANCIS DE SALES

True Woman | Have You Started a Forest Fire Today?

True Woman | Have You Started a Forest Fire Today?

Well, Shut My Garbage Spewin' Mouth!

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Lately I’ve become more aware of the things that come out of my mouth. It’s embarrassing and painful to admit, but way too often I find that I have a very acerbic tongue, a cutting humor, a critical spirit, and easily shoot verbal bullets at people (my Mom calls it “verbal sniping” – because it’s so easy to hurt someone with words). The original Greek refers to unwholesome as “rotten, putrefied; of poor quality”. Basically garbage mouth!

When I think of unwholesome words, the first thing that comes to mind is either actively cutting someone down or cursing up a storm. You know, the “big” things that you know you’re not supposed to say. But those little running comments, that little put-down here, that sarcastic answer there, well, they’re like termites in the foundation of a relationship that slowly eat away at someone, and also eat away at the foundation of my witness as a Christ-follower. Later in the verse we’re called to use words that build others up. Hmmm… that goes along with my whole termite scenario. I get this visual of each word that comes out of my mouth being a brick, and I can use that brick to either build up, or to slam and destroy. So much power, so much riding on everything that I say throughout the day.

I remember hearing once a good rule of thumb to check what you’re about to say – “Is it truthful? Is it accurate? Is it necessary?” I would also like to add “Is it beneficial – will it build up or tear down?” Which brings me also to two verses that I will pray each morning from now on:

Psalm 141:3 – “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Psalm 19:14 – “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

An Excellent Wife Who Can Find - I Can't Find Myself, and I'm Not Even Married!

Proverbs 31:10 "An excellent wife who can find?"

Excellent: the Hebrew word is a masculine noun for strength, ability, translated as able, capable, full, strong, substantial, a warrior, valiant, and worthy. The dictionary definition of excellent is “possessing outstanding quality or superior merit; remarkably good; extraordinary.

Wife: is the Hebrew feminine noun defined as woman (opposite of man), female, and in the NAS is translated and used often for a variety of women (from harlot to single to married to widow).

When I read the word for wife (woman), and how it’s used for so many women, I think of the song by Chaka Khan (and later Whitney Houston) “I’m Every Woman”. I also think of the old Peggy Lee song, “”Cause I’m a Woman (W-O-M-A-N). And how can we forget the 70’s feminist theme song by Helen Reddy “I am Woman, Hear Me Roar”? The definitions swirl in my head as I try to sort it all out.

Add to the mix the fact that I am an unmarried woman, so where do I find my place in this beginning of the first verse of the Scripture passage on the “Proverbs Woman”? It’s taken me years to tackle this section but now my heart desires to really, truly understand what it means, and what it means personally to me/about me/for me to emulate. What makes me an excellent woman?

I am immediately drawn to the words “strength”, “valiant”, “warrior”, and “substantial”. This ain’t no milk toast mama we’re talking about here – this female is fierce! My first visual is that of a Christian Amazon woman! (Believe me, considering all the books I buy, I already qualify as an Amazon woman … but I digress). I’m digging this already, but wondering how I balance this woman with the phrases “submissive” and “quiet and gentle spirit” from other sections of Scripture. Hmmm… That will have to be a whole ‘nuther blog post!

Where to first? Okay, excellence – from whence does my excellence come? It must come from Christ – He must be my example. Christ an example of an excellent woman? Whoa, hold on, won’t that get me tossed off the women’s ministry team and possibly excommunicated??? No, because His example rises so far above the boundaries of male/female. He is Savior, Lord, Perfection. When I define myself I must find my identity first in Him. My worth, my substance, any strength or valor comes from His Holy Spirit living in me, helping me each day be more Christlike. Romans 11:36 tells me all things are from Him and through Him, and Philippians 4:13 tells me I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Let’s not forget warrior – as a “warrior woman” I am to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and battle the enemy daily. Another song comes to mind: “Onward Christian Soldiers”. Finally, worthy – to be worthy – I find my worth in Him as well, not in another person here on earth or in my own efforts, but in knowing Christ’s love for me and His sacrifice for me on the Cross, and the Father’s love/forgiveness for me. When I think on these things, how can I not recognize my worth to Him? To Him I am far more precious than jewels (as the second half of Proverbs 31:10 is written).

So there you go – today I will see myself through His eyes, and to join my sisters worldwide in the journey and goal of being a woman of excellence.

Singing in the Shadows

Psalm 68:4 Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts, Whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him.

Some days my heart is like a barren woman hopeless for a child – empty, lonely, and sad. At times when I feel this way it’s as if I’m going to implode, that this aching hole will begin to suck me in until there is nothing left of me at all, only the gaping pain and blackness.

I hate feeling this way. Sometimes circumstances of my life bring me to this place – disappointment in a situation or person or myself, anticipated actions by someone don’t come to pass, overwhelming stress from a clamoring schedule, the loneliness that feels like solitary confinement. My plans/hopes/dreams aren’t coming to fruition, or my patience is running out. There are times it may stem from being physically tired, or just those crazy hormones/chemicals in my body going completely out of whack.

For whatever reason, I get so angry with myself for not being self-sufficient and able to handle it. I want to shut down my heart so that the pain (or people) can’t come in, or to self-medicate with the many unhealthy methods I’ve learned in my lifetime as I seek to “make it all go away”. It makes me feel weak, and out of control, and needy – and I hate that, for I want to be strong, self-reliant, never needing anyone. I fight not to cry, or to reach out, or to admit my need. Instead I close the shades, and withdrawl figuratively (and sometimes literally) into the searing shadows.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss recently quoted Oswald Chambers using the phrase “singing in the shadows” while speaking on serenity. Serenity… about the most opposite place I could be in these times. But when I think of “singing in the shadows”, the first thing I notice is that I’m not being asked to ignore what I’m feeling. It’s not saying that these feelings aren’t there, or that they are wrong, or that if I only had more faith I wouldn’t be in this mess and I’d be happy. It affirms that the shadows indeed are there, but it’s asking for a sacrifice of praise during this time. God is asking me to go beyond my feelings, to wade through the muck to a place where I can at least raise my face to Him and whisper His name. He knows I may not be able to do much else than that, but to Him that may be a beautiful melody, a praise beyond what I can imagine, even though to me it’s a failing, meager attempt at song, yet another disappointment for us both.

So, Lord, when I am in this bad place, I will seek You. I will ask You to take My hand and hold on tight. I will ask You to hold me close, and wrap Yourself around me. I will do my best to look for whatever it may be you are trying to teach me, or rest in the valley of darkness and wait on You. I will intentionally stop looking at me and lift my eyes to You. I know this doesn’t mean it suddenly will “all go away”. But… if You are there, filling up the emptiness/loneliness with Yourself, I can learn to sing in the shadows.

Weakness

Today's Devotion is gratefully taken from the 1/28/11 devotion "Joy and Strength" from www.backtothebible.org

Isaiah 40:29 He gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people. Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ’s power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite happy about “the thorn” and about insults and hardships, persecutions and difficulties; for when I am weak, then I am strong – the less I have, the more I depend on Him.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.

Judges 5:21 March on, my soul with strength!


Title: Receiving From God's Hand
Author: Mary Wilder Tileston
Scripture References:
1 Chronicles 29:12-13 Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone. Now therefore, our God, we thank You, and praise Your glorious name.”


WHEN I have nothing in my hand
Wherewith to serve my King,
When Thy commandment finds me weak
And wanting everything,
My soul, upon Thy greatness cast,
Shall rise divinely free;
Then will I serve with what Thou hast,
And gird myself with Thee.
ANNA L. WARING

HOW are we to approach such blessed strength? First of all, through a steadfast will to refuse nothing that God requires of us, and to do nothing deliberately which can displease Him. Next, we must learn to take our faults humbly, as proofs of our weakness, and use them to increase our trust in God, and our mistrust of self. Neither must we be discouraged at our own wretchedness, or give way to the thought that we cannot do or bear any special thing; our duty is, while confessing that of ourselves it is impossible, to remember that God is all-powerful, and that through Him we can do whatever He may require of us. We must learn to say with St. Augustine, "Give me what Thou commandest, and command what Thou wilt." JEAN NICOLAS GROU

Colossians 4:8 (Amplified Bible) "I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are faring and that he may comfort and cheer and encourage your hearts.


With the new year comes new goals, and we think things like “what do I want to accomplish, what do I want to lose, what do I want to learn, I, I, I….” Well, I would like to encourage you to take those I’s off yourself and focus them outward onto other-centered goals. For example, how about seeking out ways to be an encouragement to the people in your life? In the book of Colossians, Paul sends Timothy out to encourage the Colossians' hearts (Colossians 4:8). He also sent Timothy to the Thessalonians to strengthen and encourage them as to their faith. Paul then asks that they themselves in turn encourage one another and build one another up. (1 Thessalonians 3:2, 5, 11.) In Hebrews 3:13 we are told to encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called today! The Greek word for the Holy Spirit is parakletos, and can be translated as Comforter, Counselor, or Advocate. (John 14:16, 26; 15:26, 16:7). To encourage is the Greek word parakaleo (verb) from para – beside, by, from, near kaleo to call.

A few definitions of encouragement mention comfort, instruction; to strengthen by consolation, to teach. In this day and age of instant technology, it’s so easy to send a quick email or e-card to another just as a way of letting them know you’re thinking about them, and to provide them with a few words of cheer, even offer a “verbal hug”, so to speak. How long could it take us to do this, especially considering how lasting the result might be for someone? Do you have someone within your circle that perhaps just needs you to come up without a word and just wrap your arm around their shoulder?

When was the last time you opened your “snail mail” after arriving home, to find an unexpected card with warm wishes from someone? Do you remember how that lifted your spirits? Again, in this day of technology, actual real, hold-it-in-my-hand cards are a growing rare event! I have several cards that have been sent to me over the years which I keep in my Bible, and read over and over again whenever I need a pick-me-up.

This week, prayerfully consider a list of people you could come alongside to comfort, counsel and encourage. Make it your personal mission to contact at least a few by phone, email, Facebook, Twitter, or actual old-fashioned letter or card (okay, seriously, after looking at all our options, just TRY to find a reason NOT to do this)! In fact, I would be so bold as to suggest that if you yourself are in need of encouragement, make it a point to be that encouragement to someone else – put your eyes on them, and give of yourself at a time when it’s not easy or comfortable. Let it be a sacrifice of comfort to God – in spite of your needs/circumstances, you are going outside yourself to be His voice of encouragement to another.

As Dr. Robert A. Cook used to say as He ended his radio program, “Walk with the King today and be a blessing!”

It's Okay to Cling

Deuteronomy 13:4
"You shall follow the LORD your God and fear Him; and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him.

Did you ever cling too much to someone, hold fast to them a little more than was healthy? I think of the movie “10 Ways to Lose a Guy”, and certainly one of those top ten ways was to be “clingy”! The character would show up at the guy’s apartment unannounced, when he was hanging with the guys, at his job, and would call incessantly. Just watching her antics (who, by the way, was purposely trying to make this guy break up with her) was painful, and made me want to take a deep breath and take a long walk – ALONE!

However, I’ve had times in my life that I’ve held people or things too dear, and like sand in my fist, watched them slip away. Sadly, one of my closest and most loyal companions over the course of my life has been abandonment. There he would stay, plopped down cozily on the couch, watching relationships come and go. He would take every opportunity to remind me of all the many reasons he stayed while others left – most specifically pointing out every fault I had and how I wasn’t good enough to deserve love. I listened intently, and tried to become perfect, but with every rejection, with the accuracy of a surgeon’s scalpel, he would cut away more and more at my sense of worth. If I could just be perfect enough, I would be accepted, loved, and cherished. I fell for the lie over and over again.

By God’s grace and mercy, I’ve taken the path of healing, and over the years have found my identity and worth in Christ. Occasionally, however, I do see myself slip into an old habit of perfectionism. Recently I caught myself, and shaking my head, wondered how I had let that pattern tempt me back again?

In Deuteronomy 13:4, and again in Joshua 23:8, we are commanded to cling to the Lord. It is the same Greek word, and means to stay close, to cleave, to stick with, join to, and remain steadfast. I can’t call upon Him often enough… He never tires of my presence… the more I’m with Him, the happier He is and the more love and devotion He lavishes upon me. I never have to worry that I’m in His face. My Jesus loves me 24/7/365! Most importantly, He has promised never to leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6, 8; Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5). In His eyes I am perfect and adored and enough just as I am. He is my Beloved, and my heart is filled to overflowing with love, acceptance, and satisfaction.

Knowing this, I can enjoy my earthly relationships, and I am a healthier/whole person in those relationships. I realize that, no matter how wonderful someone can be, my sole source of identity, satisfaction, and contentment is in Christ alone – all others pale in comparison. No one can ever be my “all in all” – that is a horrible burden to put on anyone, and more importantly, they will always fail, not because they are necessarily lacking, but because they were never meant to fill that role. Only God can fill me to overflowing; only God can and should be God.

What freedom, what joy – I am His, and He is mine.

The Race

Phil 3:13-14 I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: forgetting the past... I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to Heaven.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 In a race, everyone runs but only one person gets first prize. So run your race to win. To win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best. An athlete goes to all this trouble just to win a blue ribbon or a silver cup, but we do it for a heavenly reward that never disappears.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

I began this year doing something very different – I participated in a fun run, a one-mile run at my local park. The weather was perfect for a January morning – bright and sunny, much of the snow melted from last week’s blizzard, and surprisingly warm. I proudly donned my racing tag “Number 303”, and when the starting blast began off I went! I tried to stay focused on the course, to pace myself, and to stay on track. I didn’t remember the trail being as steep, and admittedly had to slow down to a fast walk several times on the journey. There were some before me, and some behind, all running with the same goal – to reach that finish line! As we neared the end, my friend took my picture, and the bystanders cheered us on. I received a ribbon for my efforts, and the satisfaction that I had achieved my goal.

What was particularly meaningful for me today was the analogy of my physical race to the spiritual race my Father calls me to run. It’s a new year, a fresh beginning, and I renew my commitment to Him to running the race strong, focused and steady. Yes, there will be unexpected turns, hills, dips, and at times discomfort and times of discouragement that perhaps I won’t make it. But if I fix my eyes on Jesus, in His strength I can do anything. My part is obedience, and faithfulness to run towards Christ and not let all the “stuff” in my life get in the way and entangle me/trip me up. Each step of the way I must choose Christ, and not lose heart and grow weary.

One day I hope to run into His arms in Heaven, and I wonder if there will be others there who have gone before cheering me onward, that great cloud of witnesses mentioned in Hebrews. This run taught me the importance also of cheering on my brothers and sisters in Christ, to encourage them and support/lift them up on their race as well. We need to be there for one another – we’re not alone on the path.

So on this first day of 2011 I write to anyone reading this to be encouraged and feel strong and confident – God is for us (Romans 8:31)!!! Let us lift up one another, keep each other on track, running strong and focused towards the goal. Be daily in God’s word and in prayer, pray together, keep each other accountable, really be there for one another this year when we need a friend, in any God-glorifying way we can.

And most importantly, devote yourself to Jesus Christ this year in everything you say and do -- may this year be the best and strongest run of your life -- RUN STRONG! FINISH STRONG!

Extravagant Love

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. I Corinthians 13:13, MSG

I came across this Scripture quote in one of Gary Chapman’s books this morning, and I loved the Message’s interpretation. Trusting steadily in God isn’t always easy, so that reminded me how important it is for me to have a consistent relationship with Him, and to daily/actively/intentionally set my mind to trust in God, no matter what might occur as part of His plan for me.

Then comes an unswerving hope – the word “unswerving” was particularly fresh to me this morning because I had to swerve out of the way of a car that was drifting into my lane. But here I am prompted to do the exact opposite -- stay the course, hold strong and steady with perseverance and tenacity.

But then, ah then, I am told to love extravagantly. The dictionary definition of extravagant is: going beyond usual bounds; unrestrained. The word is originally from the Latin extra “outside of” and vagary “wander, roam”.

Extravagant – I love the sound of this word. I imagine saying it and tossing my arms wide open slowly – extraaaaavaaaagant! Not restrained, not frugally, but full force head on “bring it!” L-O-V-E!!!!! We are so careful and safe about showing feelings. We play games with one another, wear masks, hold back for fear of being wounded again, or sometimes it’s simply the fact that in this crazy busy day and age we just don’t even have time to think about nurturing a loving relationship with those we love the most. It’s just a day-to-day there-they-are hi-how-are-you kind of take-it-for-granted emotional sleepwalk.

But you know… things happen… and often we find ourselves faced with the regret of not having loved extravagantly, no matter why the reason. Before we know it, in a breath, we’ve lost an opportunity that can never be reclaimed.

I want to wander outside the norm of love – to go beyond the usual boundaries. On a foundation of trusting in God and hoping in Him, I want to run with arms and heart wide open, loving with every ounce of me that I’ve got, unafraid and extravagantly – so that someday my epitaph would include the phrase “Boy, she really knew what it meant to love – I always felt loved by her.”

If Christ loved me enough to open his arms wide on the cross just for me (the epitome of extravagant love), then surely I can follow His example and open my arms wide to others.

When We're in the Dark - "Streams in the Desert" Devotional for Today

Today's devotional is from the classic devotional book "Streams in the Desert"
____________________________________________________________

Title: When We're in the Dark

"I will give thee the treasures of darkness" (Isa. 45:3).

In the famous lace shops of Brussels, there are certain rooms devoted to the spinning of the finest and most delicate patterns. These rooms are altogether darkened, save for a light from one very small window, which falls directly upon the pattern. There is only one spinner in the room, and he sits where the narrow stream of light falls upon the threads of his weaving. "Thus," we are told by the guide, "do we secure our choicest products. Lace is always more delicately and beautifully woven when the worker himself is in the dark and only his pattern is in the light."

May it not be the same with us in our weaving? Sometimes it is very dark. We cannot understand what we are doing. We do not see the web we are weaving. We are not able to discover any beauty, any possible good in our experience. Yet if we are faithful and fail not and faint not, we shall some day know that the most exquisite work of all our life was done in those days when it was so dark.

If you are in the deep shadows because of some strange, mysterious providence, do not be afraid. Simply go on in faith and love, never doubting. God is watching, and He will bring good and beauty out of all your pain and tears. --J. R. Miller

The shuttles of His purpose move
To carry out His own design;
Seek not too soon to disapprove
His work, nor yet assign
Dark motives, when, with silent tread,
You view some sombre fold;
For lo, within each darker thread
There twines a thread of gold.

Spin cheerfully,
Not tearfully,
He knows the way you plod;
Spin carefully,
Spin prayerfully,
But leave the thread with God.
--Canadian Home Journal


This classic devotional is the unabridged edition of
Streams in the Desert. This first edition was published
in 1925 and the wording is preserved as originally
written. Connotations of words may have changed over the
years and are not meant to be offensive.

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
(Matthew 11:28-30, Message)

Once again I’ve done it – overcommitted my calendar, my time and my energy. I think this is a gift, really, as I do it so well and with such little effort. “Yes, I’ll be there! Sure, no problem, I can do that! Oh, won’t that be fun – would love to!” Boundaries? Margin? Oh, I start off with good intentions, and even put a scant bit of padding around some activities on occasion. But it’s a fleeting thing, and before I know it, quicker than a go’round on the hamster wheel, there I am again, full throttle into exhaustion.

What I love about this version of Matthew 11:28-30 is the simple phrase “unforced rhythms of grace”. Most days are forced for me: I have to force myself to get up in the morning, force myself to plod along (and try to stay awake), force myself to go here/there (often forcing myself not to speed), force myself to get to bed at a reasonable hour, force my brain to stop so I can actually fall asleep (unless, of course, I just drop into a coma because I’ve stayed up far too late). Ah yes, Luke Skywalker, the force is certainly with me – and making me crazy.

“Unforced rhythms of grace” – sigh… just reading and thinking those words immediately puts me into a calmer frame of reference. I envision a stream glittering in the sunlight, a lightly wooded path redolent with wildflowers, kissed with the soundtrack of nature. I actually begin breathing deeper and slower, and I feel the tension ease in every muscle. I think of the unforced rhythm of treetops as they gently dance in the wind.

Like the old hymn that Billy Graham used in his crusades, “Oh Lamb of God, I come… I come”. I want to recover the life You have planned for me, Father, not this insanity of days and nights cluttered and littered with this and that and the other thing. I am so addicted to busy I can’t even get out of my own way. I’m not even sure I remember how to sit down and focus for more than a minute or two. I come to You, to sit at Your feet, walk by Your side, and learn how to rest, to live freely and lightly. I raise my eyes to You to learn Your unforced rhythms of grace. I slip my hand into Yours, Abba – hold me tightly, and lead on. Let me walk with You today.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day 19

Live as an Overcomer – Dare to Get Your Head Out from under the Circumstances

John 16:33 [Jesus said,] “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Today’s Truth
John 16:33 NLT I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

Today’s Dare: Get Your Head Out from under Your Circumstances

Author: When we focus only on self and become consumed by the conflict, we begin to live under it rather than being an overcomer through faith in Christ. I can live under the fear of [the situation], or I can keep my eyes on Jesus.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
There comes a time when I’m sick of looking inside out… sick of focusing internally on myself, my circumstances, my “whoa is me”. Yes, I need to acknowledge my pain, and sit with it, and work through it with the Lord. However… when I choose to stay there past the point of healthy introspection, then I’m choosing to live under it. I am grabbing it like a dirty but comfortable old blanket and pulling it over my head and closing myself off from God and the world. This is not where God wants me to be. I need to toss off that blanket, grab His hand to lift me up out of it, and rise above it as a Christ-empowered overcomer. Jesus has warned me that yep, there’s gonna be whole mess of trouble, but to keep looking at Him, and trust that He’s already got it beat. I agree with the author that this isn’t easy to do, but we still must choose to do it. I want to be a person that, when trouble strikes, people can look at and wonder why I’m not overcome by it all. That opens the door for me to tell them why – Jesus, plain and simple, end of story. My Jesus, HE is why, HE is my overcomer, my hero, my salvation.

God is asking me to …
- Dare to have a positive stance regarding any current negative circumstances
- Find something good I can do just for today that will overcome the negative and give me a positive to think about.
- Remember not to project into tomorrow, next week/month/year, forever!!! Remember Matthew 6:34: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

My challenge is to…
- Take courage, and even though it may be only one tiny baby step from under to over, to choose to take that step.
- Not be surprised when the trouble comes – hey, He’s warned me! But to instead be prepared in faith to look up to Him instead of down at the mountain of manure that’s just been dumped on me!
- Remember that my God is the God of resurrection power and promise and can overcome anything this world throws at me!!!
- My challenge is to live with courage, to take the risks of obedience, even though they may not come with comfy guarantees, but being confident that inside His will is always is the best place to be, no matter what.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day 18

Get Out of the Funk

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

Today’s Truth
Hebrews 12:2-3 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Today’s Dare: Live with a New Focus

The author talks about being in a “funk” – down, depressed, bad attitude… that our focus is skewed, and instead of living above our circumstances as an overcomer, we begin to live under the mess. We get distracted, get our eyes off Jesus, and grow weary and lose heart – the negatives. She says we should focus, focus, focus on Him, not on ourselves.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
I hear what the author is saying, and I do agree that we need to try and live our lives seeing Him and knowing He is our foundation. However, that being said, I have to say that I don’t altogether agree with her either. I know it isn’t healthy to stay stuck in the mud, but by the same token we’re not just some frozen smiley-faced people who easily rise above the circumstances and situations of our lives. There are dark valleys God asks us to walk through, trials we need to face to grow… and sometimes they stink and are painful and horrible. Frankly, if I’m having a hard time I need someone to just be with me, put their arms around me. If they started being all kinds of cheerful, I might have to slap them! And if someone is having difficulty rising above, don’t lay a guilt trip on them making them think if they just focus, focus, focus it will all be better and just pull up your big girl panties and get on with it. Oh yeah, that’s gonna help.

God is asking me to…
Not be too cynical (sorry). Be real – if I’m hurting, check it out – am I wallowing? Am I trusting as best I can and looking to Him? If so, is this something I need to sit with for awhile and learn a lesson? And maybe if so, I DO need to reach for His hand and ask Him to pull me up.

My challenge is to…
Faithfully, consistently be looking to Jesus, and to keep it real.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day 17

The Mirror Image – Dare to Live in the Miracle of Who You Are

1 Corinthians 15:10 By the grace of God I am what I am.

Psalm 139: 13-16
For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

1 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Today’s Dare: Live in the Miracle of Who You Are

Author: Rather than seeing the miracle God created, we see a distorted and shame-based woman who is not perfect, who is ashamed of her imperfections, and who is chronically trying to see herself differently by changing the external. The merry-go-round of self-loathing is too common and is once again the thief who robs us of life. God looks at us and sees His purpose and the miracle of Himself in us. You can’t possibly be more loved or significant than you are at this very moment.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
I don’t think I will ever see myself in a mirror with 100% accuracy. I look through the eyes of a woman who had an eating disorder so that will always be a body seen as if I were in a fun-house mirror. I look through the when eyes of my youth on the grey hair and laugh lines of now. I look through the what could have been child eyes of a survivor to the what I did to survive now reflection and wince. Sometimes I can’t even look, so I turn away… But God’s truth tells me I am new, and beautiful, and worthy, and wonderful, and a miracle to Him.

God is asking me to…
Remember Ephesians 2:10, where He tells me that I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for me to do.

My challenge is to…
It is so hard to believe the good, so much easier to believe the negative things said about you, to you. God, I want to believe Your truth, but my heart often struggles to wrap around it. I know You know all about me, my history, my past – and still You keep telling me You love me and I am cherished by You. You are still the Lover of my soul, my very Heartbeat, my very Breath. You believe in Me, You have plans for Me, You L-O-V-E me.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare - Day Sixteen

A New Attitude – Dare to Choose Whom You Will Serve and the Direction You Will Take

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always; pray continually.

Today’s Truth: Hebrews 12:1-2 – Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

The author today asks us to work through our pain, see it as something God has allowed for our good/growth. She tells us to “choose joy because God is working, and never look back because you cannot run the race while looking behind you.”

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
There have been times in my life when, in the midst of my deepest pain and heartbreak, I have been able to lift my tear-soaked face to God. And there have been times when I couldn’t even speak. I have to take a different view tonight – I think we have to approach this very carefully. I don’t think God asks us to be in fits of hysterical laughter in the middle of all the pain. I know my God allows me to scream “THIS HURTS AND I HATE IT”. I know that’s not sinful, and sometimes I think we run around gleefully quoting Romans 8:28 to other people who are hurting. It’s often trite and cruel, like putting a bandage on a full-blown heart transplant. Yes, it is sacred and true, but there is a time for it.

Sometimes we have to sit through the pain, sit with it, and just be. Not say anything, just be. Not to say that God isn’t with us in it. We need to acknowledge that there’s a reason He has allowed this, but I don’t think joy means just being some smiling zombie and stuffing what we’re feeling. I think the joy comes in a deep, quiet knowledge that you’re not alone in it, in the faith that while I hate it hate it, God is using it. It is a quietness, that words can’t really describe properly. It is washed in anguish, nights of tears and pain, but He sits with us in it. That is when it is so important to fix our eyes on Jesus.

God is asking me to…
Look at Him instead of the storm around me – like being in the middle of a twister… everything is spinning around you uncontrolled, but you must stand in the middle and just look up, where it is calm and you can see the Son.

My challenge is to…
Remember He’s doing something for me, and to be aware enough to look for His lessons, no matter how awful it seems at that moment. My challenge is to be real in it, and to allow others to see that I am suffering, but not destroyed, and to have them see that my faith in Jesus is the only thing that is keeping me together.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Fourteen

He Completes Me – Dare to Believe You are Complete in God

2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Today’s Truth
2 Corinthians 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

Author: What if we believed it is Christ who completes us? Could it be that this kind of love is the very thing that makes us balanced, centered, secure, and yes… complete? Realizing we are complete in Christ makes all that He is doing in us worth… the pain – because in the end the maturity and wholeness will be the spiritual gain. We are not made perfect in ourselves but in Christ. He does not judge perfection the way we do. Perfect in a spiritual sense is one who is being completed through maturity, growth, and surrender to God.

Today’s Dare: Believe You are Complete in God

- What if you were secure because Christ is your completion and you were made more than enough in Him?
- What if Christ, making Himself real in you, completed you to the point of being valuable for His work as an ordinary woman made extraordinary by His presence and power?

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
When I was a young, hopelessly romantic young girl, I went along with the whole idea of finding someone who completed me. Now that I’m a more mature hopeless romantic, I have come to realize that I need to be complete in and of myself before I ever enter into a relationship, for both our sakes! And yet when it comes to my relationship with Christ, my independence screeches to a halt. He is the only Man (GodMan) that will utterly complete me.

One of my dearest friends gave me a clay pot in which dwells a small candle. I love this gift, because every time I look at it I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:7. I struggle with a lot of insecurities about my past disobediences in life to the Lord. This verse comforts me, because it reminds me He is the power source, not me. My shattered, scattered life history can only be put together and made to become something special by the loving hands of the Master. He can shine His light through me.

I am an ordinary woman. It’s not a put-down of myself, just a statement of fact. The Lover of my soul holds my heart, and completes it. He turns this clay pot into something very, very special, and I am made whole by His presence and power. My Jesus makes me everything I need to be.

God is asking me to…
Look to Jesus for my completeness, my fullness, my whole self/identity. He is asking me to believe Him, trust Him, in spite of feelings of inadequacy and in spite of myself/my past.

My challenge is to…
Stop listening to the enemy’s lies, and instead believe what God is telling me about myself.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Fourteen

Not Enough – Dare to Believe You Were Not Created to be Enough in Yourself


2 Corinthians 3:6 He has made us completent [adequate, enough sufficient].

The author speaks of two words defining her life -- "not enough". She writes, "...'not enough' is an epidemic among women. That insecurity destroys the beauty God is bringing forth within us. It can distance us from God. Some women quit trying, quit daring to be all that God has planned for them to be."

Today's Truth: 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God."

Author: “I could quit stressing over that [being enough] and instead look to Him. He would be enough in me, for all things, at all times. His Spirit, which is powerful within me, would change me, transforming me from a woman of self-focus and insecurity to a woman of God-focus and confidence” Max Lucado writes – What makes us special is… the signature of God on our lives.”

Psalm 45:11 The King is enthralled by your beauty.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…
As I read this today my heart broke for all my sisters who, like me at one point or another in our lives have felt:
- not smart enough
- not accomplished enough
- not pretty enough
- not sexy enough
- not thin enough
- not holy enough
- not young enough
- just plain not enough… pick a category

My heart and soul and spirit long to be that woman who dares to be all God has planned for me. I want to be a warrior and run up that hill and grab that flag of freedom, and breathe as I stand confident that in Christ I AM ENOUGH. I want to be a woman of God-focus, God-confidence. Suddenly I don’t have to do it in my own power – the burden rolls away, and My Savior holds my face in His gentle hands and whispers YOU ARE ENOUGH.

It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

God is asking me to…
- let go of not enough and find my enough in His strength, in His eyes, in His power.

My challenge is to…
Hold fast to this taste of God-enough, and run with it, cling to it, to use Christ as my mirror. I need to seek that which He has called me to be, through His word and in prayer, and then to pursue it hard with all my might, no longer insecure but finding everything I need in Him. I’m not really sure to begin, so Jesus, please take my hand and lead me to Your enough.

My Thirty Day Faith Dare – Day Thirteen

Bringing Beauty to Life – Dare to Surrender to the Process of Change

Psalm 34:5 Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Isaiah 61:1-3
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners… to comfort all who mourn… to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.

Author: God…takes broken hearts and heals them, messy lives and mends them, tears and dries them. He dresses me in something new and beautiful… from within, but its beauty is seen without. It’s always been His plan to renew me, revive me, restore me, and give me courage to… live in Him and the beauty of His holiness. It is time to believe that the shame that has covered us or the insecurity that has surrounded us can be changed by looking to Christ. It is with this upward gaze that we are changed and no longer ashamed.

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

It’s one thing to want change – and a whole ‘nuther thing to do something towards the goal of change. Surrender to the process of change – surrender isn’t one of my strongest attributes, but it’s a process, and something critical to get to change. Surrendering to Him isn’t so much a giving up as a letting go. Its opening my grubby little hands and letting Him take out what I’ve been holding onto for so long and hard. Then He will replace it with His beauty.

I’m always amazed at what a Gentleman God is – He waits until I’m willing to open my hand to Him, instead of zapping me with a lightning bolt or just removing my hand altogether. His love is patient, and His warmth coaxes me instead of using a crow bar force. All my life, whenever I’ve held tightly to something, not willing to give it up, it’s never really satisfied. Oh, there’s been a time of pleasure, but it’s never lasted, and like the verse says, it’s turned to ashes. You’d think I would have learned that lesson by now. Change – it’s a process…

God is asking me to…
Open my heart to the changes He wants to make in me
Not be afraid, but to trust and obey
Just be the clay and let the Potter work

My challenge is to…
Focus on Jesus and let Him be my Everything

Lord, in the last few weeks, as I’ve tried to walk closer with You and focus on You, I’ve seen a whole lotta distractions crop up in my life. Maybe distractions isn’t the best word, more like temptations that would be enough of a change that they would take me off course to Your plan for me. As much as I know this, I admit with shame that I’ve glanced and pondered the what ifs of the possibilities. Like I said, you’d think I would have learned that lesson by now. Oh God, in the deepest part of myself all I want is to live inside Your will, but sometimes the pull of these diversions is like a magnet, and my will just gets pulled, and it’s such a battle to stay on course. May my surrender only be to YOU, that I wouldn't do anything that would hurt You or cause me to be ashamed before You.