My 30 Day Faith Dare - Day Three

Living Loved – Dare to Live Differently by Living Like You Are Loved

Jeremiah 31:3-4 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with lovingkindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.”

Today’s Truth – How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!

Today’s Dare – Make a list of the “other” things you have been called – give them to God one by one, then take a black marker and blot those labels off your list!

Today’s truth is speaking to me…

Oh no you didn’t… you did not hit me on Day Three with a gut-wrenching, heart bomb like this!

The author admits she had “… a chronic belief that I would never be enough…the not-enough girl.” We are told we need to “pour God’s love into our learning center – our mind – so it can make its way into our hearts. It is not natural to live feeling loved by God… we learn to live loved by taking His Word of truth by faith.” We are told that God has lavished His love on us. I have always been drawn to that word – LAVISH… it sounds so rich and smooth and bountiful.

God is asking me to…
Face things I don’t want to face! The author writes: “When we live as one who is loved… life is no longer a set of unfortunate circumstances but instead a journey with the Father.” Okay, that's all well and good, but what if you don’t know what it’s like to have a father? How do I wrap my brain and faith around that one? Where is my frame of reference? All day this whole “live like you are loved” has poked and prodded at my soul, pouring salt and vinegar into the wounds of ancient places I’ve worked years to push down.

My challenge is to…
Write those other things I’ve been called (or called myself)? I can’t even look at them. I know what it means to live as the “not enough girl”. I wince with the memories of what the old country song says…”lookin’ for love in ALL the WRONG places…” Again, I’m faced with the dare of digging up things I don’t want to remember, to see, and most importantly feel.

So here I am with black ink on a page, formed into a word I have said, have read, and often wondered if I ever really knew what it felt like or meant, and surely not from a father. God, I can tell You I’ve read the Love Letters, verse after verse, where You tell me You love me, and I intellectually believe it, really, I do. I know I shouldn’t depend on feelings, but oh, how I wish I could literally feel Your arms around me in a big old daddy bear hug, so I could begin to understand what Your love tangibly feels like… forgive me, I know Christ gave everything to love me, and I don’t mean to ask for more. I just want to know what it feels like to climb into Your lap and cuddle up.

I acknowledge, Father, that I need repair. I admit only You can fix me. I will utter Your name as Abba, Father, and invite Your Holy Spirit to pour Your love into my brain, to teach me what it means to be loved, to be lovable, to be the “enough girl”, for You. As You wrote in Jeremiah, I will believe Your promise that You will rebuild me. Lavish away, Abba, lavish away… I choose to believe You.

And as I write this, the web station I’m listening to just began playing “Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us” – one of my favorite hymns as a little girl in Sunday School… and it brings back memories of feeling happy and safe and loved and belonging… and I begin to weep with this immediate gift of affirmation and love from my Abba…